Finding The Way Back
by FlySkyHigh85
Summary: I always felt Naomi got the short end of the stick. And that if Addison was placed in her shoes, people would be more sympathetic and compassionate than they were to Naomi in the same situation. This is my attempt to tell Naomi's story about not only finding love again, but her self-worth. Starts at the beginning of season 4.
1. Chapter 1

**Just want to apologize in advance if there is any confusion in this chapter. This chapter is meant to lay a foundation, to set the stage for the story I plan on telling. I promise it will get better as time progresses.**

**A/N: I do not own Private Practice, it's characters, or anything else affiliated with the show.**

Chapter One

Sam and Addison stepped off the elevator into the practice as soon as the doors opened. They were having another discussion on what seemed to be their favorite subject these days. "Sam, it's been three months for crying out loud. Is she ever going to come back? How am I supposed to explain everything to Naomi if she never comes back?" Addison lamented, biting her lip in distress.

Sam sighed as they walked towards the kitchen. "And what exactly do you plan on explaining that she doesn't already know Addison? We had feelings for each other and decided to act on them and unfortunately Naomi got hurt. No amount of explaining or rewording will change those facts. And if you're going to continue to feel guilty about it, then why are we together"?

"Because, I love you. And I don't feel guilty, I just want her to understand" Addison said softly, kissing Sam on the cheek.

"No, you want her to accept it so you don't have to feel guilty".

"I don't feel guilty" Addison said again, less convincingly.

Sam chuckled. "If you say so" he retorted, as they entered the kitchen and came to a complete stop.

All of their colleagues were standing around drinking their morning coffee and eating breakfast. And in the center of the small crowd, looking radiant, was Naomi. She looked gorgeous in a brightly colored floral print skirt with a vibrant burnt orange fitted blouse. Instead of her signature softly curled tresses, her dark brown hair fell down her back in voluminous waves. In one simple word, she was stunning. As if sensing their arrival, Naomi deliberately turned around, her mesmerizing chocolate brown eyes finding Sam's. He suddenly felt a small lump in his throat. Seeing his ex-wife was the last thing he expected. As fervently as Addison wanted Naomi to come home, Sam equally hoped she stayed away longer. He didn't want to face his conflicting emotions and her not being around let him live in his self-induced denial. Though he refused to admit it, he felt just as guilty about their relationship as Addison. Mainly because he knew Naomi was smart enough to know the love they once shared was real but she was too hurt to believe it. Because of his relationship with Addison, Naomi felt every good memory of their marriage was tainted, that he had settled for her. That wasn't the case; Sam married Naomi because he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her; not because she was second choice. But no amount of explaining would convince Naomi of that until she was ready to see the truth. And that was the difference between him and Addison. Addison felt like talking and explaining would help Naomi see the truth, and that Naomi would let her off the hook. It wouldn't work. Sam knew his ex-wife better than anyone, knew she needed space to work through her feelings on her own. He also knew that when Naomi finally came to terms with their relationship, things would still not be the same for a long time, if ever. Addison was hoping for a quick fix that would never happen and her stubbornness would force her to learn that the hard way .That lesson would begin today because Naomi was back, looking more beautiful than he remembered. It looked like the time away had been good for her. Noticing how eerily quiet the kitchen had become when he and Addison entered, Sam broke the silence. "Naomi, it's good to see you".

"Hello Sam, hello Addison" Naomi greeted them politely, determined to keep this encounter as nice and normal as humanly possible. No matter what inner struggles she was enduring, this was a place of business and she would act like the professional she was. Besides, she didn't want to be the bitter scorned woman who took her negative feelings out on others, even if deserved. She wanted to be a better person than that.

"Hello" Addison said just as formally, the silence unnerving her. "Well, it looks like we've interrupted the party" Addison half-joked, trying to break the awkward tension that continued to fill the air. She looked around at her coworkers. They were the most talkative people in the world usually, but now they were unexplainably at a loss for words. Addison took the opportunity to keep talking. "Naomi, you look great. I'm glad you're back, we've missed you. How have you been doing"?

Everyone looked back and forth between Addison and Naomi, wondering if their polite conversation would take turn for the worse. Naomi was usually a level-headed and restrained person, but the last couple of years had been difficult for her. She hadn't coped well with the changes in her life, causing her actions and her words to become a little unpredictable. "I'm wonderful, thank you" Naomi responded with a smile to everyone's surprise. "I was just telling everyone else about my travels for the foundation. How fulfilling and inspiring it was. It's given me a new lease on life. I'm really grateful such a wonderful opportunity landed in my lap. How are you doing? Everyone has been catching me up on everything that wasn't in the emails I received. So much has happened in my absence".

Addison was taken aback by how calm and collected Naomi seemed to be. And by the confused look in Sam's eyes, he was surprised too. Whether her appearance was real or a mask, she didn't know, but she was grateful for it. Maybe it was possible to get their friendship back on track. "I'm fine, better than fine actually" she responded, squeezing Sam's hand as they stood side by side. "Why don't we catch up over lunch, my treat" Addison suggested.

"Sorry, but I already have plans" Naomi said. She glanced down at her watch and checked the time. She looked back up and around at all her friends and colleagues. She'd truly missed Pete, Violet, Cooper, Charlotte, Sheldon, and Amelia. And knowing they missed her as well made her heart feel light. Reluctantly, she also silently admitted to herself that she missed Sam and Addison too, more than rest despite her fury at them. They were her best friends, the ones she used to confide in. That was impossible now. She wanted to forgive them but no matter how evolved she was attempting to be, the pain, hurt, and anger would not be dissipating anytime soon. But she was trying, taking it one day at a time, and not for their sake, but hers. She was determined to move on. Looking around at her group of friends helped, it made her feel less alone in a place that used to feel like home. Pushing her thoughts away, Naomi spoke. "I'm sorry to cut this reunion short, but my first appointment should be here any moment. Plus, I have so much paperwork to catch up on. I'll talk to everyone later".

Everyone watched as she left the kitchen and headed for the stairwell to reach her office on the floor below. "Is it me or does she seem fine, like too fine" Cooper asked, speaking aloud what they were all thinking.

"I know" Amelia exclaimed. "She seemed so happy go lucky, all eat pray love. Maybe she is okay with Addison screwing her ex-husband".

"Amelia! Filter" Violet admonished as everyone but Addison and Sam laughed under their breaths. "While I'm inclined to agree she seems to be doing well, there's no way she could've worked through all of her issues in such a short time span. I'm willing to bet she's pretending to be better than she is to make us feel more comfortable around her, so she'll be treated the same. Also, she might not want to discuss how she feels, so by putting on a mask, she's trying to make it harder for us to confront her about her feelings".

"She's been back for five minutes Violet. Why don't you give her a few days before you try to psychoanalyze her" Pete suggested.

"How about we follow Naomi's lead and get to work. This is a place of business contrary to how you people act sometimes. I would never allow this in my hospital" Charlotte ranted as she stormed from the kitchen.

Cooper started to follow her, but Sheldon stopped him. "Let her go. If you push too hard, it could do more harm than good" he advised. Charlotte's rape was still taking a toll on her but the best thing they could do for her was give her space. The same approach they needed to use with Naomi. "She does make a good point though. We should get to work" Sheldon said as he left the kitchen.

Slowly, all the doctors followed suit until Addison was left standing alone in the kitchen, Amelia's words echoing in her head. "Maybe she is okay with Addison screwing her ex-husband". Though Amelia's wording made her cringe, she desperately wished those words were true. As much as she loved Sam, losing her best friend would be a high cost to pay.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

As the bright, hot California sun shone high in the clear blue sky, Naomi sat with her daughter and grandchild having lunch. They'd chosen a table outside on the bistro's patio to feel the breeze of the nearby ocean and enjoy the beautiful day.

"I've missed you guys so much" Naomi cooed as she bounced Olivia up and down on her knee. The smile the baby gave her in return melted her heart. Pulling her to her chest, Naomi hugged her granddaughter close and inhaled her fresh baby scent. There was nothing in the world like baby therapy.

"From the looks of it, I'd say you only missed Olivia" Maya joked as she took the last bite of her salad.

"If you weren't so grown up, I'd bounce you on my knee too" Naomi joked back.

Maya laughed. "I've really missed you too mom. I'm really glad you're back home. I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come back".

"I know, I'm sorry. I know I originally said I would only be gone for three weeks but after that time was up...I couldn't...I didn't have the strength...it was too hard...I just needed more time" Naomi rambled on incoherently. It was hard enough thinking about her ex-husband and best friend as a couple, let alone talking about it. But it was part of the healing process. She had to look her new reality in the eye. She pressed Olivia closer to her chest, drawing comfort from the little innocent soul.

"I know mom, you don't have to explain, I get it". Maya reached over and patted her mom's arm, soothing her. "I know I wouldn't want to come back if I were you" she added succinctly.

"Speaking of, how do you feel about your father a...an...and Addison dating. We didn't really discuss it before I left" Naomi asked. She knew her daughter had to be affected in some way too, she just didn't know how.

"Honestly" Maya asked hesitantly.

"Honestly. I don't want you to spare my feelings" Naomi responded truthfully as her heartbeat began to race in nervousness.

"Well...I kind of have this theory. It's kind of weird and twisted but I think it could be true".

"Please explain" Naomi asked, her curiosity peaking.

"I think they're each other's replacement for you" Maya said simply.

"Excuse me" Naomi responded, arching her brow in confusion.

"I'm serious mom, just hear me out. When you left the practice last year, they were so upset. When I would stay with dad, I'd overhear him and Addison complaining about how you left them. They were too mad to speak to you and to stubborn to admit they missed you so they made a pact. They promised each other that they would ignore their problems and pretend everything was okay. I think you not being there made them rely on each other, made them try to get from each other what you used to give them. And somehow it got all messy and mixed up".

Naomi placed Olivia on her lap and took a few moments to consider what Maya said. It was a crazy theory but a compelling one nonetheless. But it couldn't be true. One thing Maya said really stuck with her though. "So are you saying it's basically my fault this happened? That I practically forced them together"?

"No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying they were too upset to get over themselves and tell you how they felt. Or better yet, realize that moving one floor beneath them didn't have to change everything. Instead of going to you, they went to each other. And through some weird scientific thingy, they transferred their feelings for you onto each other. Think about it mom, do you honestly think this would have happened if you stayed on the fifth floor with them"?

Maya made a good point. It would have been nearly impossible for her best friend and ex-husband to develop feelings with her so close by. But there were still some flaws in her theory. Sam didn't want her back then like he wanted Addison now. They were divorced for a reason. Yes, there had been a confession of love before she left the practice but that was jealousy, not love. Sam hadn't been happy with her dating his friend Duncan. It didn't mean Sam wanted her back. Naomi turned to her daughter who was waiting for her to respond. "First of all, scientific thingy? Is Olivia not giving you enough quiet time to study" she asked, bouncing the baby on her knee. "And secondly, while I'll admit your theory is intriguing, I don't think it's true. Your father wasn't in love with me, we were and are divorced. There's no way he could have, to use your word, transferred those feelings onto Addison because they don't exist".

Maya chuckled. "I don't get as much time as I'd like, but I'm still doing well in school. Having half-days on Mondays and Fridays really help. I just can't remember the term I was trying to say, it will come back to me". Getting serious again, she continued. "Mom, sometimes you really don't realize how great you are. Trust me; I still remember when we were a happy family, how dad would look at you. After the divorce, I would catch him still looking at you that way. He was still in love with you, I think he still is. I don't know how long this thing between him and Addison will last, but sooner or later he'll wake up. He'll regret the day he let you go".

Naomi sighed. She had no idea Maya felt that way. "That's a sweet idea but sometimes things aren't meant to be. Whatever your father was looking for, I didn't seem to have. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt, because it did, but I can't fault him for being honest with me. It was hard but we've both moved on".

"Maybe you have but I don't think dad has. Come on mom, I know I sound like the little kid who just wants her parents back together, but can't you just consider for a second that I might be telling the truth. Or at least let me live in my fantasy world. Because that's the only way I can deal with dad and Addison being together. It's the only way I can still love them and not be angry and hate them; because it they're just together because they want to be together, I don't think I would ever be able to forgive them for being so stupid and selfish and hurting you. Can't they see how wrong this is"?

Naomi placed Olivia in her stroller and leaned over the table to wipe the tears Maya was trying to conceal. Hugging and consoling her, Naomi said "I appreciate you caring about my feelings, I really do. You don't know how much that means to me. But I don't want you to worry. Whatever is or isn't true, whatever has or will happen is out of our control. We just have to take everything one day at a time and have faith everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Please don't hate Addison on my account; despite recent events, deep down you know she's a good person. She was there for you when I wasn't to help you through your pregnancy. As for your father, you know he loves you and I know you love him. You couldn't hate him if you tried, but I don't even want you to attempt such an impossible feat. Whether your father and I are together, just friends, or never speak again, know one thing. We, both of us, will always be there for you, Olivia, and even Dink, when you need us. That's all you need to know, all you need to worry about. Okay, sweetie"? Naomi hugged Maya closer before letting her go to see if she was alright.

"I hear you mom. Now I want you to hear me when I say this. I know we've had our rocky moments in the past, we both wish we could redo things. None of that takes away from how great you are, how kind, loving, considerate, and compassionate you are. You deserve better, whether that's with dad or someone else. I just want you know how lucky I feel to have you as my mother. Me becoming a mother myself made me see how much I took you for granted, how everyone takes you for granted. No matter what happens, please be happy mommy. Please don't deprive yourself".

Naomi didn't even bother to wipe the tears streaming down her face. Where had her little girl gone, who was this grown woman sitting across the table? "As long as you promise to do the same. And as long as you promise we'll always be this open with each other from now on, no matter how difficult".

"I promise" Maya said, reaching out to hold her mother's hand.

"Good". Naomi smiled. "Now, let's get out of here. I need to fix my face before going back to the office. I don't want to give those gossips at the office even more to talk about" she laughed, as she signaled the waiter for the check.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone reading this story. I'm glad there are others out there who felt Naomi's story was never full told and/or disliked how it played out on the show. Please keep the comments coming, I enjoy your feedback. It makes me a better writer :)**

Chapter Three

Naomi climbed the stairway and exited the stairwell on the fifth floor. It was far past the end of the work day and she was tired; her first day back at Oceanside Wellness had been a long but fulfilling one. She'd missed her patients but not the paperwork she'd stay late to look over. But now more than anything, she wanted to go home, kick off her shoes, and relax with a glass of wine. All she needed was the leftover food she'd put in the refrigerator from her lunch with Maya and Olivia. Her excitement over seeing them had killed her appetite. The food would be perfect for a late dinner. Walking through the deserted halls of the practice, she turned into the kitchen and was surprised to find Sam standing at the counter. Instinctively, she wanted to turn and run away. But that would be a step backward, not a step forward. She needed to stand her ground like she'd done the whole day. "You're here late" Naomi commented, stopping opposite Sam on the other side of the counter.

Sam looked up in surprise. He could've sworn he was the only person left in the office. He'd decided to stay late to do some research to help his patient. If he'd gone home, Addison would have distracted him with her neurosis over Naomi, especially since she was back. Now he was confronted with the very subject that kept him from going home. He studied his ex-wife intently; she looked tired but there was an inner calm and peacefulness that radiated from her pores. Those three months looked like they had been good for her; that gave him a small measure of relief. "Yeah, I was doing some research. What about you"?

"Three months of paper work is time consuming, but I wanted to get it out of the way now. I didn't want to worry about it".

"I swear responsibility is your middle name" Sam teased; it was a statement he'd made frequently during their marriage.

"Yeah, I guess it is" Naomi smiled, indulging him. She briefly wondered why standing here with him didn't feel as awkward as it should, it almost felt normal. The pain was there, a deep gut wrenching pain, but not so much the anger...well, maybe a little anger. Memories of the happy phases of their marriage crossed her mind and she suddenly understood. There was still too much love in her heart for him; she wasn't in love with Sam anymore, but she still felt a deep heartfelt genuine love for him. There was a bond between them that would never be broken. They shared a child and a grandchild and too much history to ever be completely eradicated from each other's life. His betrayal had cost him her trust in him and their close friendship but Naomi's love for him would always be there, whether she wanted it to or not. Snapping out of her reflection, she continued. "Speaking of responsibility, thank you for checking in on Maya and Olivia while I was gone, I really appreciate it".

"Of course. That's my child and grandchild too. Whatever might go on between us, I hope you would know that I'll always be there for them" Sam said, defensively.

"Yes, I do. I was thanking you anyway. I didn't mean to imply anything negative. I was just expressing my gratitude for being there when I couldn't...wasn't there". Naomi exhaled loudly, and looked down at the counter to gather herself. Awkwardness increased and exploded into the kitchen. The pain and anger she was holding at bay was starting to sneak up on her and overwhelm her. Sam made it easy to forget about anything but loving him, but remembering why she stayed away for three months gave her the reality check she sorely needed. She'd played second best to her best friend in a marriage to a man she believed was her soul mate once upon a time. And even if that wasn't true, there was no denying that Sam left her because he was looking for something better and his search ended with Addison. How was that not equally painful? The couch and red wine she was craving reentered her mind. Walking around the counter, she passed Sam, quietly saying "excuse me", and opened the refrigerator. Grabbing her food, she turned and attempted to leave the kitchen abruptly but Sam grabbed her by the wrist.

Sam felt a ball of energy at the pit of stomach. It was always there when he was around his ex-wife; she affected him like no one else. Usually he couldn't pinpoint what emotion caused the sensation because it was always different; she elicited so many reactions from him. Tonight however, he knew exactly what he felt...regret. Regret for hurting her then and now. "I'm sorry Nae, I didn't mean to..."

"Forget it Sam. It's late and we're both tired. Let's just let it go" Naomi said, cutting him off. She desperately wanted to yank her hand away but she decided to wait on him to let her go. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing how flustered she truly was.

Sam looked at her for a long moment before he let her go. "Let me at least walk you to your car. It's dark out there, it could be dangerous" he suggested before Naomi could leave.

"Thanks for the offer but I can manage. I've left the office plenty of times after hours. Besides, I still have to stop downstairs to grab my belongings" Naomi said briskly. Distance from him couldn't come soon enough. "Have a good evening, I'll see you tomorrow" she said, moving towards the exit. Sam blocked her path.

"I insist. As the mother of my child, I can't afford to let anything happen to you" Sam rationalized, playing his trump card.

Naomi imagined doing bodily harm to him that very moment. "Fine. Give me ten minutes and I'll meet you in the lobby" she said, stepping around him finally leaving the kitchen.

"I'll be down there in five" Sam shouted after her in case she tried to leave earlier without being seen.

"He thinks he knows me so well" Naomi mumbled under her breath as she entered the stairwell.

...

Addison was on a mission. After Naomi turned down her lunch offer, she'd given her best friend space. She'd given Naomi the whole day to become acclimated and get back into the flow of the practice. That was difficult; Addison had wanted to immediately start the healing process but based on Sam's advice, decided to back off. However, after last night, that was out the window. Sam and Addison frequently drove into work together and yesterday was no exception. When he decided to stay late, she'd gone home and waited for his call to come back and pick him up. It was a shock to the system to see Sam exit the building with Naomi as she waited in the car. Addison's eyes stalked them as he walked her to her car, opened her door, and waited for her to drive away. She was incensed by the time Sam slid into the passenger seat of her car. "What the hell was that"?

"What was what" Sam asked, confused and slightly offended by Addison's hostile attitude.

"You told me to trust you, told me to give Naomi space and here you come walking out the building with her. Why is it okay for you to be buddies again but I have to wait"?

"Calm down Addison. We are not buddies. We just happened to be leaving the office at the same time and I insisted on walking her to her car. What you saw is chivalry, not friendship". Sam sighed in frustration. Naomi was a complicated woman who drove him crazy. Addison was even more neurotic and frayed his nerve ends. Why couldn't he ever be attracted to simple laid back easygoing women?

"Oh. But she wouldn't let you walk her to her car if she wasn't receptive to mending things right? Maybe it's not too early to talk to her" Addison said, desperation in her eyes.

"I told you I insisted; that means she tried to turn down my offer Addison. She still needs time".

"How much time Sam? I want my best friend back and I want her now".

Sam sighed again. "I don't know. Let her come to you, she'll approach you when she's ready".

Addison really did consider taking Sam's advice a second time as they drove home. She tossed and turned all night and rose at the crack of dawn, still torn about what to do. By the time she was driving to work alone, since Sam had an early morning scheduled surgery, she had decided. To hell with his advice she thought; she knew her best friend. Naomi was a level headed, understanding person. They would sit down and talk that morning and everything would be fine. So convinced she was right, Addison didn't even bother going to her office when she arrived at the practice. Stepping off on the fourth floor, she walked straight to Naomi's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in" Naomi said, not bothering to look up from the new medical study she was reading.

"Morning Naomi" Addison said cheerily, strolling into the office and sitting in front of Naomi's desk.

"Addison" Naomi exclaimed, looking up surprised.

Pretending not to see the light dim in Naomi's eyes, Addison spoke up before she lost her nerve. "I was hoping we could do lunch today, since yesterday was no good. You've been gone for so long, I feel like we have so much to catch up on".

"You know what? I'm really busy today" Naomi said, trying to let her down gently.

"Then how about dinner? Or lunch sometime later this week? I really want to talk to you" Addison pleaded.

Naomi sighed. She'd forgotten how persistent and impatient Addison could be. At least Sam had the common sense to know she needed space, she knew that he would only confront her for job or parent related duties. But Addison could be selfish; she rarely saw past how a situation affected her. However, in this case, Naomi thought she would be sensitive enough to understand that this wasn't a small problem with an easy solution. Apparently not. "I don't think that's a good idea" Naomi said bluntly.

"Nae, come on. I just want to talk to you, to explain. I know we can get past this".

"What exactly is there to explain" Naomi asked, her anger rising. "What could you possibly say to make me feel better about you screwing my ex-husband? You had to know this wouldn't be a walk in the park right? Otherwise you wouldn't have hesitated to get with him in the first place. There's nothing to explain Addison, everything is clear as day".

"We never meant to hurt you..."

Naomi cut Addison off before she could finish. "But you knew it would hurt me. Like I just said, it's why you hesitated. Look Addison, you had a choice to make and you chose Sam. That's all there is to it".

"I love him Naomi, can't you understand that? There was no choice; I couldn't walk away from love. I didn't know following my heart would cost me my best friend". Tears were beginning to form in the well of Addison's eyes.

"But it was a risk you were willing to take" Naomi pointed out. "Even if I was more accepting, you had to know that our relationship would not be the same. You're too smart to not get that".

Addison sniffled, trying to keep her tears from falling. "So, are you saying that we won't get past this, that our friendship is finished"?

Naomi wanted to scream and pull her hair out. Why did it feel like she had to comfort Addison? She was entitled to feel the way she did and not feel guilty for it. Naomi was a giver and Addison was a taker; that had always been the nature of their relationship. But just once, Naomi wished Addison would give to her; give her the space to get her head together, to heal, and to move on. Instead, she'd been forced to portray the unforgiving bitch who was unreasonable. Briefly closing her eyes, Naomi took a deep breath and calmed down. She couldn't change Addison, but she could change how she reacted. "Look, I don't want to be the bitter scorned ex-wife who can't forgive and move on. And for the sake of our colleagues and friends and mostly myself, I'm doing my best to deal with your relationship. We're all professionals, I'm sure that we can continue to be cooperative when it comes to our patients. And even in group social settings, we can still be pleasant. If someone wants to invite us both to a gathering, I'm not going to refuse just because you and Sam are there. Hell, I'll even say thank you if you compliment me on my shoes. I'll tell you if you look nice and ask you about the weather. But the days of us being one on one, sharing our secrets, and confiding in each other no longer exists Addison. Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if I started dating Derek? I know you didn't mean to hurt me, I truly believe that, but I still got hurt. I don't think many people would fault me if I never spoke to you again. But I don't want to be that person, it's not healthy. I want to be able to forgive you and Sam, because despite the betrayal I feel, I love you both. But it won't be overnight Addison; you can't have your cake and eat it too. And it's unfair of you to ask me to be okay with this so soon. It's unfair for you to expect me to be so accepting of you dating a man I was married to for twelve years. A man I share a child and grandchild with. A man I would still be married to if he hadn't woken up one day and decided he was bored. A man who basically said I wasn't good enough and then decided my best friend was; my best friend that he's known as long as I have which makes it hard for me to decipher how long he's felt that way. And you; you were my best friend; A friend who claimed that she didn't want to lose me but was willing to sacrifice everything in the name of love. What about the love you were supposed to have for me? Where was your loyalty? You can't expect me to blink and be fine. That's unfair Addison. And even if I find the strength to get over this, get back to the place where I consider you a close friend, it will never be the same. The dynamic between all three of us has changed too much. So, is our friendship over? No, but acquaintance is all I can handle right now and you can't fault me for that". Naomi sat back in her chair, feeling completely drained. It was almost a relief to get those things off her chest. Addison bombarding her way into her office actually helped, though she was sure it wasn't the outcome Addison was expecting.

Addison had stopped breathing halfway through Naomi's speech. Shock radiated from every nerve end she owned. She knew Naomi was hurt, but not to that extent. What could she say after that? What could she do? Nothing, the answer was nothing. Time was the only factor that would help, just like Sam said. And even then...slowly standing up, Addison walked towards the door. Just before she reached the door, she turned around one last time. "I'm sorry Naomi, I'm truly sorry. I think I'm finally beginning to understand so I will give you the space you need. But I'm not giving up on you, on us. If you ever need me, I'm here".

Naomi didn't have the energy to respond. What she'd shared was barely the tip of the iceberg. But that was her burden to bear. Maybe she'd share those feelings later; 'not now, and not with Addison' Naomi thought as she silently watched her former best friend leave her office.


	4. Chapter 4

***WARNING* This chapter contains some adult material. Other than that, a new character is introduced in this chapter. I purposely don't give out too much information about this person, but I will in the following chapters. Thanks for reading, please keep doing so. :)**

Chapter Four

A month passed quickly when you were consumed with paperwork, research, and patients on a daily basis. Naomi was grateful for the distraction; it helped keep her focused and avoid obsessing over what was going on around her. She was adjusting quite well and almost felt comfortable back in her old surroundings. Even dealing with cases she shared with Sam or Addison were manageable, almost easy. Work was work, and as long as her patients were happy, the rest didn't matter. Considering all the obstacles life had put in her path recently, life wasn't so terrible. A half smile appeared on her face as she entered the crowded kitchen to grab her lunch out of the fridge. She was proud of herself; for taking it one day at a time, for getting on with her life. Even the slight twinge of pain she felt at seeing Addison and Sam sitting at the counter together ogling each other couldn't disrupt her good mood.

"You seem chipper today" Cooper commented. "Don't tell me you have a secret Valentine we don't know about" he teased, taking a bite of his apple.

"What are you talking about" Naomi asked confused.

"Oh, please" Amelia said. "You're telling us that you showed up today in that sizzling red lace see-through blouse, which has every male who comes through the practice drooling, not knowing it's Valentine's day? We're supposed to believe you don't have a hot date later tonight"?

"Oh my God! Is it really February fourteenth? I had no clue. I just wore this today because I felt like it, I had no idea" Naomi answered. She ignored the doubtful expression she saw in her peripheral vision from Sam. His opinions were not valid. Besides, she was telling the truth.

"She's been dressing like a sex kitten everyday" said Charlotte in her usual blunt manner. "You only think she has a hot date tonight because she's wearing red Amelia".

"You just further proved my point" continued Amelia. "There's no reason for her to be dressing like this every day unless she's sneaking off to see someone every night".

"First of all, I'm a grown woman. I do not sneak. Secondly, I can dress however I please with or without a reason that pleases you. And thirdly, why do I get the impression yall have discussed me and my wardrobe more than once"? Naomi knew her taste in clothes had shifted a little since her return, but was it really that different? Was Charlotte's 'sex kitten' description just a nice way of saying she looked like a slut? No, because Charlotte would have said she looked like a slut. She was honest that way. So what if her clothes were a little more risqué? She wanted to feel good, and looking good made her feel more confident.

"Because we have" Pete and Violet said simultaneously, laughing.

"I see. Well next time, just ask. For your information, I am not seeing anyone nor do I have a Valentine's Day date" Naomi said as she leaned against the back counter, sipping a cup of tea.

"I can change that" a deep hypnotizing British voice said from the kitchen doorway.

Naomi immediately stopped sipping her tea; she had to concentrate to keep her grip on the cup. Heat rose in her cheeks, and then traveled through her body. She felt lazy flickering flames slowly engulfing her body into a blazing inferno. Her heart was thumping so hard, she just knew it would explode out of her chest. She finally looked up and locked stares with his magnetic midnight eyes. His eyes were so captivating; she had to use her memory to remember what the rest of him looked like; his dark chocolate skin, trim goatee, full lips, and tall muscular frame. Flashes of them and white sandy beaches, exotic flowers, private waterfalls, and blue green water ran through her mind. As she thought about it, the heat in her body continued to grow, settling between her legs. What the hell was he doing here? "Jordan" she whispered.

"Hello Naomi" he said in that mesmerizing voice of his. He walked slowly towards her until his body pressed against hers; she was trapped between the counter and him. "I've missed you". Reaching for her cup, he grabbed it and place it on the countertop. He traced his fingers up her newly free hand, up her arm, across her shoulder, up her neck, until his fingers stroked her flushed cheek. "Did you miss me"?

"What are y...yo...you doing here" she stuttered. She felt drugged by his presence.

"Several reasons, but at this very moment, my focus is you. Let me treat you to lunch. Consider it a prelude to the very special Valentine's dinner I've got planned for you".

"And you just knew I would be available" Naomi asked, her voice sounding husky. The initial shock was wearing off, she was being seduced and fully embracing the drugged feeling. It made her feel alive.

He wrapped his hands around her waist and leaned close to her ear. "No, but I hoped.

Jordan's masculine scent invaded her nostrils. His lips were so close to hers. Naomi was familiar with those lips, aware of what she could do to them, and what they could do to her. She leaned closer to Jordan, was about to kiss him when she heard someone cough in the background. She recognized that cough, it was Sam's cough. Wait a minute, it was Sam's cough! Suddenly, she remembered where she was. Looking over Jordan's shoulder, she looked at all her friends staring at her. Some had their mouths open in shock, while the others had stupid grins on their faces. It was time to leave before the questions began; she didn't want to spend all day answering their questions. Grabbing Jordan's hand, she pushed him back and led him from the kitchen. "I'll be out of the office for the rest of the day. Can someone please reschedule my appointments? I'll see you all tomorrow" she said hurriedly, leaving with Jordan before someone could stop her.

The kitchen was completely silent for a full minute. Sheldon was the first to speak up. "I think it's safe to say, if she didn't have a date before, she definitely has one now".

"Guess those three months weren't completely work related" Pete said grinning.

"Did you see the way they were looking at each other? I felt like I was watching the beginning of a porn movie" Violet joked. "Seriously, it was intense. I've got goose bumps. They're definitely...familiar with each other" she surmised.

"Looked like he wanted to get...familiar with her again" Amelia smirked, taking a sip of water. "And again and again and again"...

"I think we get it Amelia" Cooper said. "From the look of things, Naomi probably feels the say way" he couldn't help but add.

"Well, good for her" Charlotte said. "Not a bad choice either, did yall pick up on that accent" she asked. Everyone began speaking at once, speculating about who Naomi's mysterious friend was and how she met him. Everyone but Sam and Addison. As the other doctors left the kitchen, each sharing their own theory, they were left in kitchen staring at each other. Addison thought it was great. She figured a man in Naomi's life would help speed up the healing process; that she would be able to let go quicker if she was in love. Addison wouldn't delude herself into thinking it would be a fast transition again, but it could definitely help. Sam smiled for Addison's benefit. But internally, that familiar ball of energy was filling his stomach. He couldn't place the emotion this time, or maybe he didn't want to because he might have to admit he was...jealous.

...

Naomi stood at the entrance of her walk-in closet, debating what to pack. Over lunch, Jordan convinced her to spend the night with him at his hotel suite; not that he had to do much convincing. Biting her lip with indecision, she briefly wondered if leaving work so abruptly was a smart idea. She had responsibilities and obligations. Dropping everything over a man was usually not her style; then again, Jordan was like no man she'd ever been involved with. As she continued to search her closet, a tingling sensation traveled down her spine. He was close, she felt his presence, sensed his eyes staring at her backside. "Jordan, what are you doing up here? I told you I would be right down" Naomi said, turning around. Since the moment they met, Jordan seemed to always keep her on her toes. He always kept her off balance; and yet somehow, he seemed to always be or know what she needed.

Jordan couldn't stop staring at her body; the way her tight black skirt shaped and molded to the curves of her seductive hips and mouthwatering ass. Her red lace blouse was long-sleeved with a high neckline, yet she had never appeared less covered. Nothing Naomi ever wore could hide the roundness and fullness of her perky breasts, but this blouse was highlighting them. The playfulness and elusiveness of the cleverly placed fabric had his heart racing and his imagination running wild. He'd wandered up the stairs into her bedroom because his feet gave him no choice; he had to be near her. Instead of answering her question, he walked closer still until their bodies melted into each other. Grabbing her hips, he kept walking, forcing her to walk backwards into the wall, trapping her. He grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall over her head. Staring intently into her eyes, he told her "change of plans".

His lips descended on hers before Naomi was aware what was happening. Jordan's lips fit hers perfectly. She fell into the kiss, fell into him, and fell into a sex-induced daze. Vaguely, she became aware of the lack of oxygen she was receiving. But his kisses were too addictive to come up for air. Naomi wanted to grab his face, pull him closer but she was still pinned to the wall. She began to squirm beneath him, buck against him. As his manhood started to rise, she felt it throb and pressure against her stomach. Between wet sloppy kisses, she whimpered in agonizing pleasure.

The way she moved beneath him, the noises coming out her mouth were driving him insane. Breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers, desperately gasping for air. He was losing it.

"No, no, why did you stop" Naomi almost yelled, writhing in discomfort. She needed the fire blazing inside her extinguished.

"Naomi" Jordan choked out, his voice sounding throaty with passion.

"What" she whispered in response, leaning in to kiss him again, becoming the seducer instead of being seduced.

Jordan groaned in sweet pleasure. Releasing his self-control, he stopped thinking. Gradually, he unpinned Naomi's hands and dragged his hands down the length of her body. Reaching the hem of her skirt, he slowly pulled it up, raking his fingers up the back of her thighs. She was blowing in his ear, whispering naughty things. Her newly freed hands were now actively unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants. He kissed down the side of her neck as he felt her pull down his pants and boxer briefs. When Jordan heard his clothes hit the floor, and gather around his ankles, his strong hands grabbed the back of Naomi's knees and picked her up, wrapping her long legs around him.

Naomi gasped. "Jordan" she moaned, as his lips covered hers again. Their hands were roaming all over each other, taking off any articles of clothing they could find, trying to find the warmth of each other's skin. Her legs being around Jordan's waist made it impossible for her skirt to come off, but it didn't stop Jordan from reaching underneath and ripping her lace panties clean off. Naomi moaned, her body feeling so many tingling vibrations, her naked back arched off the wall. His mouth and tongue were everywhere; kissing her lips, blowing on her neck, licking her collarbone. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head when he simultaneously drew a nipple into his mouth and pushed his throbbing penis inside of her moist heat. Her head fell back against the wall as he began to move in and out of her at a furious pace. Her hips picked up his rhythm as she closed her eyes and went along for the ride. And as they reached their peak together, more memories flooded her head. The sand against her skin, the waterfall cascading over her, the smell of exotic flowers, and Jordan looking into her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Naomi stepped outside of the Nairobi International airport into the hot African sun. The air was thick and hot, smothering her lungs. It was the easiest she had breathed in days. When the two people you loved most betrayed you, everything else seemed easy, even breathing in hot sticky air that suffocated and swallowed you whole. Six thousand miles was not enough distance to forget how broken she felt, but it was a good start. Traveling the world, helping less fortunate people get the proper healthcare was a good cause. If she couldn't fix her problems, she was going to try her hardest to help others. At first, William leaving his foundation to her seemed overwhelming. In retrospect, it was the perfect gift at the perfect time. With the foundation money, Naomi felt she could really do some great things to change the face of universal healthcare. This opportunity would give her a new sense of purpose when she needed it most. Sadness still threatened to envelop her in a tight cocoon, but having a purpose would help her fight through it. She needed to start work now she thought as unprovoked tears began to fall down her cheeks. Tears were falling without warning these days. As she reached up to wipe her eyes, a handsome man driving an off road jeep pulled up and parked in front of her. Naomi's attention shifted towards him when she noticed him slowly, blatantly, and unapologetically inspecting her. She began to fidget as his intense eyes continued to roam over her like lasers. Finally, he spoke.

"You're way too beautiful to be so sad," he said in a surprising British accent. His skin was the color of dark chocolate. His jet-black hair and goatee glistened in the blazing sun. In his khakis, t-shirt, and boots he looked appealingly masculine in a rugged outdoorsy way. Naomi instinctively knew he would look equally good, better, cleaned and polished in a business suit. She imagined the suit hugging his big, well-defined muscular arms, chest, and broad back would fit perfectly. In addition, even in his sitting position behind the wheel, Naomi could tell he was tall, at least six feet two. He was dangerous, the last thing she needed was danger. Her emotions were too unstable. Now he was flirting with her; or was he? Maybe her sadness was that apparent, so noticeable that complete strangers couldn't help but comment. Regardless of his motives, she needed to escape him. The quicker her ride arrived, the better off she'd be. Ignoring his statement, Naomi began looking around for her contact. The mysterious man jumped out of his jeep and came to stand right in front of her.

"How can someone as beautiful as you have anything to be so sad about" he reworded, standing over her. The despair that emitted from her was painful to watch, to feel. He wanted to grab and hug her, even without knowing who she was.

"Excuse me" Naomi asked, hostility dripping off her words. Anger had been her other best friend in recent days. Who did this man think he was to comment on her life, not once but twice, when he didn't even know her name? When did looks determine how good or bad someone's life was going?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep" he quickly said, seeing her body tense up. "There's just an inner light in you that makes me believe you're a good person; equally beautiful on the inside as you are out. And whatever is troubling you, I'm sure you don't deserve it".

Naomi cocked her head to the side and took a closer look at this stranger, observed the way he carried himself. He wasn't cocky or arrogant but there was a quiet confidence about him. He was sure of himself and his abilities but he didn't brag about it. Extremely dangerous Naomi thought again. "I bet that works on a lot of women. They just melt into your arms, don't they" she asked. Continuing before he could answer, Naomi said "If you'll excuse me, I'm waiting on my ride". Clutching her bags closer to her, she stepped around him and looked at the cars arriving at the airport.

Coughing to regain her attention, the stranger approached her again. "I believe I'm that ride. You're Dr. Naomi Bennett, right? I'm Dr. Jordan Adeyemi. Pleased to meet you" he said, holding out his hand.

Eyes wide in shock, Naomi felt her cheeks flush. It looked like danger wasn't leaving anytime soon. Reluctantly, she shook his hand. His grip was strong and protective. "Yes, I am. May I ask what happened to Dr. Avery"?

"He was delayed with an emergency in one of the villages we are helping. I was the only doctor available at the time so he asked me to pick you up and help get you settled. Hope you don't mind" he said smiling. Her hand was soft and feminine.

"Well, thank you for your help" Naomi said, careful to avoid responding to his inquiry. Politely, she took back her hand. "Shall we? I'm eager to get started".

"Sure, let me grab your bags for you" Jordan said, his hand grazing her arm as he took her belongings. He guided her to his jeep and waited until she was seated inside before he put her bags in the back. "By the way, if I was hitting on you, make no mistake, you would definitely know it" he said, leaning over her, making his presence known before walking around and getting behind the wheel.

Naomi's breath caught in her throat. If he wasn't flirting before, he was now; definitely. Any other time, she would be flattered. But she was in mourning; her life was too complicated. Plus, trust was at a premium these days. If she couldn't rely on people she'd known for twenty years, there was no way new people would even get consideration. Deciding not to acknowledge his advances, Naomi changed the subject. As Dr. Adeyemi started the car and drove away from the airport, she asked "I'm assuming from your accent, you're from England. How did you hear about this program"?

"Yes, I grew up on the Southside of London. However, my family is originally from Nigeria. We moved to the United Kingdom when I was three because my parents wanted my siblings and me to have a better chance of succeeding. I wanted to give back. My way of doing that was by becoming a doctor and concentrating on finding a cure for HIV and AIDS. I heard about the program through my research because as you know, AIDS is such an epidemic throughout not only Kenya but this continent; the continent where I grew up, where my true home is. Until I can find a cure, I want to do my best to help prevent further spread of the disease. So as we travel throughout Africa the next few weeks, while you're vaccinating and providing medical supplies, I'll be trying to educate the people about HIV and AIDS prevention".

"Wow. That's very admirable of you. It seems like most doctors are only concerned with the bottom line instead of patients these days, but you're not. That's tremendous. " Naomi said. It was refreshing to meet someone who cared so deeply about others; so was the wind flowing through her hair and blowing across her face as they rode further away from civilization, deep into the country.

"Thank you; to me it's my duty. I know what you mean about other doctors, I wish they cared more too. So what brings you to Africa" Jordan asked. However, what he really wanted to know is what or who was she running away from.

"A very close friend of mine, William White, died a few months ago. He was a very wealthy man interested in changing the face of medicine. He left me his medical foundation in his will. My goal is to make sure as many people worldwide have the proper healthcare. I think many of us who are from more established countries take for granted how fortunate we are. Even the ones who don't have healthcare in my country have little to no risk of catching the diseases that are prevalent in poorer countries. I just want everyone to have a fair chance. William left his foundation to me for a reason and I want to use the money to help as many around the world as I can, as well as contribute to research to help medicine evolve into boundless possibilities".

"Not only beautiful, but smart, insightful, and compassionate; that's a winning combination Naomi" Jordan said, smiling at her.

"Dr. Adeyemi…."

"Please, call me Jordan. There's no need for formalities".

"Jordan, I'm sure you're a nice guy but I prefer we keep things strictly professional" Naomi said sternly.

"Relax. Can't you take a simple compliment? Loosen up, we're in Kenya. This view alone should release all the stress in your body. Besides, how are we supposed to be friends if we keep it strictly professional" Jordan asked, his curiosity growing by the second. Whatever Naomi had been through, it had been severely damaging. She was trying too hard to keep it together, to keep her distance from new faces. He knew all about pain and suffering, maybe he could help her if she let him.

"Friends? You want to be friends" Naomi asked dubiously.

Jordan eased his foot off the gas as they approached the first village in the area. "Yes, I do. You seem to be the only doctor here, besides Dr. Avery and myself, because you want to be. Not because it looks good on your resume. I've been losing my mind for months. Who else is going to help me through these next three weeks"?

Naomi cracked a smile, the first real smile she'd smiled in days. She was amused; Jordan had probably been doing just fine and now he was acting like without her as friend, he would be lost. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. But you mean just friends right? Nothing more" she confirmed.

"Just friends" Jordan said. "For now" he mumbled under his breath.

Naomi heard him, and he knew she did, but she still pretended not to. Jordan could only go as far as she let him, and that would not be far at all. "You've got yourself a deal" she said holding her hand out.

Jordan took her hand and shook it once. The electricity that flowed between them was powerful and immediate. He could tell Naomi felt the jolt too. Just friends wasn't going to cut it but she seemed stubborn. He wondered how long she was going to fight their instant attraction to each other; he hoped not long.

...

Naomi awoke naked and alone in her bed. Dreaming about the first time she met Jordan put a small smile on her face. Opening her eyes, she looked out her window and was surprised to find the sun had set. Streetlights glowed outside and created weird shadows inside her bedroom. Turning on her lamp, she sat up and looked at the path of destruction she and Jordan created. From the wall, they'd traveled to floor before the finally reached the bed a couple hours later. Naomi rubbed her side, her skin feeling a little tender; most likely a rug burn. Their clothes were strewn everywhere; but where was Jordan? Unless he was traveling the street naked, he had to still be in the house. Getting out of bed, she checked her master bathroom only to find it empty. Grabbing the first article of clothing she saw, Jordan's dress shirt, she buttoned it and left the room. As she descended the stairs, appetizing smells wafted towards her nose. Walking into her kitchen, she saw him standing at the stove cooking in his underwear. "What are you doing" she asked, surprised, though it was obvious.

"We missed our dinner reservations, but we still have to eat right," he asked, concentrating on a red sauce he was stirring.

"I don't know, do we" Naomi asked. "I'm feeling pretty content right now" she said, yawning and stretching. The shirt which stopped mid-thigh inched up as she stretched. She grabbed the collar of it and inhaled his scent as she stared at him.

Jordan chuckled, his eyes hypnotized by the way his shirt hugged her body. "We need to build our strength back up if you want to go for round two" he hinted. "Come over here and taste this," he requested, holding a wooden spoon with red sauce on it.

"Round two? So the floor and the bed don't count? Try round four" Naomi argued, sauntering over to Jordan. She stepped in front of him to inspect what else he was cooking. "Everything smells so good. Where did you learn to cook"? Leaning back, she rested her body against him.

"My mother taught me," he whispered in her ear, grabbing her waist with one hand and feeding her the spoonful of sauce with the other.

"Mmmm" Naomi moaned in delight. "That tastes wonderful". She closed her eyes and savored the flavors in her mouth.

Jordan dropped the spoon on the counter and turned off the stove. Slowly he unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing, his shirt, and touched Naomi's silken skin. "No underwear" he commented, as his fingers explored between her legs. He slipped a digit inside her, felt how wet and hot she was. He played with her flowering vagina lips, pinched her clit. He felt himself lengthen, become hard and strong when he heard Naomi moan. He palmed her breasts in his hands, roughly massaged them. In a flash he turned her around and lifted her onto the kitchen Island. He slid out of his boxer briefs before he slid his arms around her. "I think dinner can wait," he said, plunging into her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, so this update is another flashback. It's gives a better perspective on Naomi and Jordan's relationship, maybe one you guys weren't expecting. I hope you like it but feel free to voice your opinion if you don't :)**

Chapter Six

Naomi stood on the balcony of her hotel room in Malawi, the third country they'd visited so far, staring out into the distance. The view from the 23rd floor was spectacular. The sounds of the waves crashing against each other soothed her as she witnessed the last hint of pink fade over the horizon. She needed the beautiful scenery to comfort her after the disturbing email she received from Violet. Betsy's aunt had dropped her off at the practice and none of them had stepped forward to keep her from the foster care system. Naomi understood everyone had hectic lives, but Betsy wasn't some random child; she was Dell's child. A lone tear trickled down her face; Dell's death was still fresh, her heart ached from missing him. She would forever love him, be grateful to him for saving Maya and Olivia, and feel guilty for not noticing his brain injuries sooner. Maybe it was time to go home; ten days away and it felt like the practice was sinking. But she wasn't strong enough yet; she wanted to help Betsy but going home too early might kill her. What good would she be to Betsy if she was dead from a broken heart? A knock on the door pulled her back to her present surroundings. Walking to the door, she opened it to find Jordan standing on the other side. She smiled involuntarily. He'd proven to be a good friend, lent and ear when she needed it, and he gave good advice; Jordan was the only thing keeping her halfway sane. Her problems from home hadn't come up though, she wasn't sure if she wanted to share that. "Hey, come on in. I was just out on the balcony" Naomi said, opening the door wider.

Jordan walked in and waited for Naomi to close the door before he enveloped her in a hug. "What's wrong"?

Naomi sighed. Why did he have to be so damn perceptive? "I got an email from back home. It wasn't pleasant". She wanted to burrow into his chest, absorb all the comfort he was giving, but she backed away. She needed to think. Turning away, she walked back onto the balcony, knowing Jordan would follow. "It's so beautiful here" she commented, leaning against the railing.

Over the ten days they'd know each other, Jordan quickly learned that home was a touchy subject for Naomi. He guessed that the bulk of her problems were related to the people she worked with at her practice. Though he never mentioned it to her, Jordan realized that every time she received an email from anyone other than her daughter, sadness crossed her face. Naomi probably thought she hid her emotions well, but she was transparent to him. The very fact that Naomi actually acknowledged an email was upsetting her disturbed him. Jordan hadn't wanted to push before, but maybe he should now. He cared too much to let her bear her burden alone. "Do you want to talk about it"?

"No. It's too complicated. Everything is one big ball of confusion. If I tell you about the email, I'll feel compelled to tell you my whole life story. And some of it...I won't...I can't...I'm not ready to talk about yet". Naomi felt her body began to shake. Being in Africa, helping less privileged people, meeting a new friend had distracted her from her problems. Her problems hadn't disappeared but she had been able to create distance from them, compartmentalize her feelings. Now all her emotions were escaping their little boxes at once, overwhelming her.

"I know it's hard, but maybe talking will help. Things tend to feel heavier when you keep it to yourself" Jordan said, rubbing Naomi's back.

"Does it work for you" Naomi asked, catching Jordan off guard. She was observant too. During down time, when they had quiet moments, she'd caught him gazing off into the distance, as if he was looking into his past. His face would get tight, serious, and an involuntary frown would appear on his handsome face. Plus, when she talked, he was too understanding. His care and concern felt empathetic instead of sympathetic. In many ways, he was just as damaged as her.

Jordan was so surprised; all he could do was laugh. He had been so busy observing her, picking up on her habits; it never occurred to him that Naomi might be doing the same. Most women only paid enough attention to get what they wanted; Naomi paid attention because she genuinely cared. "Honestly, I don't know because I've never tried. So, how about we help each other? I'll tell you my story if you agree to tell me yours" Jordan suggested. He needed to practice what he preached. And if the only way he could help Naomi was to share his own story, it was worth it.

Naomi looked to the street down below, considering his offer. Maybe talking to him would give her a clearer perspective; he was outside of the situation, emotions wouldn't affect his opinions. It would be nice to have someone justify her feelings or give her a reality check. Either way, she would feel less crazy. Turning her gaze to him, she said "Agreed. We can share stories, but I can't do this completely sober". Walking to the minibar in her room, Naomi opened the small fridge door. She started to grab the red wine but figured they needed something stronger to get through their conversation. Gathering several tiny bottles of scotch, she also reached for two glasses and filled them with ice. Walking back onto the balcony, she took a seat in the patio chair and motioned for Jordan to do the same. "I hope you don't mind" Naomi asked, holding up the alcohol she'd chosen.

"No, that's perfect" Jordan said, taking one of the glasses and a bottle of scotch from her.

Placing the remaining bottles on the table between them, Naomi cracked open a bottle of scotch and poured it over her own ice. "Okay, start" she said.

Jordan took a long deep sip and looked off into the distance. "Young people can be so foolish, they think they know everything. Parents tell their children that all the time, I know I heard it throughout my whole childhood. But it's not until we grow up, get some life experience, and have kids of our own that we truly understand. When we're young and impulsive, it goes in one ear and out the other. Because of this human flaw, when I was nineteen and fell head over heels in love, I couldn't listen or see reason. I saw her, her name was Michelle, and that was it. I met her at a rave; I was a big partygoer back then. Even among the lights, bright colors, drugs, and loud music, she was the life of the party. She drew me in, caught me in her web; I had no chance of fighting her off even if I wanted to. Within three months of meeting her, we were married; despite my parents' protest about me being too young, how I needed to focus on school, how I didn't know her and that she seemed like trouble. As far as I was concerned, I loved her; that was all I needed to know, all that mattered. So, a few months into our marriage when things started to disappear, money started to disappear, she lost her job, and she couldn't explain her long absences...I looked the other way. I didn't want to admit my brand new wife was a drug addict; even if she was high when I met her. I just figured she was a girl who liked to have fun. I didn't want to admit it even though her mood swings were wild and unpredictable. I rationalized she was passionate and overly sensitive; not that she was either high or going through withdrawals. Whatever obstacles we had, I knew our love would get us through. And when Michelle found out she was pregnant a year later, things seemed to get better. She tried, she really did. From the day our daughter, Lindsey, was born she was the perfect mother...until Lindsey turned three". Jordan paused long enough to grab another bottle of scotch and refill his glass. He needed more liquid courage to continue. "Then the bottom fell out. Michelle's mother died and she just couldn't wrap her head around it. It sent her into a downward spiral of utter despair. She started using drugs again, disappearing for days now instead of hours. She gave up on life, on me, on our daughter. I tried my hardest to cover for her for Lindsey's sake, despite the fact I was in medical school and working to keep a roof over our heads. My parents were willing to help, but I only turned to them in dire circumstances, because I was too stubborn to accept they had been right about Michelle all along". Jordan paused again, choking back his emotions. "This went on for two years. I finally reached my limit where enough was enough. My child's welfare was in jeopardy and I knew she deserved better. The only thing keeping me around was the fact that Michelle was pregnant again; but as soon as our son was born, I planned to take him and Lindsey and leave. I was working late when I got the call. My babysitter wasn't able to pick up Lindsey from daycare. They called my wife to come pick her up. Amazingly, she made it to the daycare and managed to act sober enough to pick up Lindsey. But as the autopsy later reported, she had enough heroin in her system to kill three people. And that's exactly what she almost did. On the way home, she was driving too fast and lost control of the car and drove straight into a tree". Jordan was letting his tears flow freely at this point. "My precious child died on instant impact, she didn't feel any pain. My wife stayed alive long enough for the doctors to deliver my son prematurely; after he was taken out, her body crashed and they couldn't revive her. But during the delivery, my son was deprived of oxygen for too long. It caused serious brain damage. And since my wife was using drugs during her pregnancy, he was born with a slew of other problems. Jacob is blind, has muscular dystrophy, and is HIV positive. All those drug needles gave my wife HIV and her last gift was to give it to my son. He is the only reason I was able to finish medical school, because his illness made it really hit close to home. I became a doctor to give back to my parents, but even more for him". Jordan went silent after that. His heart was pounding; his throat was raw with pain. He grabbed another scotch.

Naomi sat in silence, not bothering to wipe away her free flowing tears. How selfish and petty was she? Her problems seemed small, petty even compared to Jordan's life story. She grabbed another scotch too, anything to choke back her sobs. She wanted to weep for Jordan, take away his pain. Even through his hate, pain, and anger, it was still clear that he loved and missed his wife; probably wished he could have saved her from herself. Reaching out, she hesitantly rubbed his arm, attempting to comfort him. "Your son...how is...is he...okay" Naomi stuttered. She didn't want to overstep.

Jordan leaned forward and looked at the ground. "He's sixteen, in a facility now. I tried my best to care for him myself, had nurses come to our home but it became too difficult. It took my parents, Michelle's dad, and several doctors to convince me to let strangers take care of him. I finally relented when he turned fourteen and I don't think he's ever forgiven me, he inherited my stubbornness" Jordan chuckled with no humor. "I visited him regularly until about six months ago when the nurses informed me that even though I had the legal right to visit him whenever I wanted, that he needed space. I chose to respect his wishes, it's the least I could do. I'm just hoping that he will want to see me again one day".

"Jordan, I'm sure he loves you. He's more likely angry at the cards he was dealt then you. He'll eventually realize that he needs you, that you love him" Naomi said softly, still rubbing his arm.

"That's what I keep telling myself, but the waiting is hard. How long is it going to take? If I can't be there for him, who is he leaning on"?

Naomi was slow to respond. She didn't want to step out of line, but she felt compelled to speak her thoughts. "You know what happened to Jacob, Lindsey, and even Michelle is not your fault, right? You did the best you could in your situation. Whatever Michelle was dealing with was not your fault. It's apparent you loved her, wished your love could have saved her, but people have to want to be saved. If they don't have enough courage, determination, and will to help themselves, no amount of love and outside help will save them. I'm so sorry about what happened to Lindsey, and to your son but it is not your fault. And I know you must be so angry at Michelle for everything she did, put you and your kids through, but it's okay to still love her too. It's okay to forgive her".

Jordan looked at Naomi, grabbed the hand that was soothing him and held it firmly. "I know Naomi. I've had sixteen years to come to terms with everything that's happened. In my head and hours of therapy, I've realized everything you just told me. It's just my heart has yet to catch up, and I don't know when it will. I can say that sharing it with you has helped; it means a lot that you care. Thank you for listening".

Wiping his tears with his her free hand, Naomi whispered "Any time". She sighed and sat back in her chair, releasing her hand from Jordan's grip. "I have to admit that after hearing your story, I don't know if I should still share mine. My life seems so small and petty compared to yours" Naomi admitted, voicing her recent thoughts.

Smiling sadly, Jordan said "your problems were bad enough for you to flee the country and the continent. Besides, we had a deal. I share, you share. It will make you feel better. I already feel lighter; the pain is still there but talking about it makes it more manageable. I think when you keep it to yourself, your problems become bigger, seem worse in your head; like some scary monster. Talking about it takes some of bigness away. Come on, let me be the judge of how big or small your problems are" Jordan urged.

Naomi blew out a deep breath. "Okay, but let's have another drink first" she said reaching for another scotch. She waited until Jordan poured another drink before she began. Once her mouth opened, everything tumbled out in a steady stream. It felt like she was vomiting except words were coming out. Every trouble, feeling, concern she'd had over the past three years came spilling out including things her friends and colleagues back home didn't even know about. The liquor was ridding her of all her inhibitions, she felt free to share anything. "I don't care how understanding people think I am, there's a limit. How am I supposed to understand let alone accept my ex-husband and best friend fucking each other" Naomi finished.

Jordan didn't respond, he was trying to digest everything Naomi told him. She had been struck with one lightning rod after the other for over three years. Separately, a person might be able to deal and keep going. But to be bombarded with one problem after the next without any time in between to breathe had to be unbearable. And the biggest problem of all, her ex-husband and best friend, would be devastating to almost anyone. How could she think her problems were not significant? His story was tragic but it was one obstacle, an obstacle he'd had sixteen years to navigate through. Naomi had multiple problems that had compounded on top of each other. She had lost a piece of herself through the process, a piece she was desperately trying to get back. And it started with her ex-husband.

"I told you my life was small and petty" Naomi responded quietly after Jordan failed to respond.

Looking up, Jordan reached for her hand. "No, that's not it at all. I was trying to digest everything you told me. Frankly, I find it hard to believe you're still standing after everything that's happened. You never caught a break. As devastating as my story is, it was the only difficult situation I've had to face in the last two decades. And honestly, my stubbornness prevented me from making better choices. In retrospect, I probably could have avoided a lot of pain. But you; from your marriage, to Mya, to Dell, to William, and so on, you've been walking through a landmine that keeps blowing up. Maybe you could have made better decisions too, but so much of it was out of your control. And since you never received a break to digest each situation individually, it's melted down into one big mess. Naomi, you have every right to feel the way you do, and now that I know your story, I find you even more amazing to be as sane as you are".

"Really? You're not just saying that to make feel better" Naomi asked, already feeling relief sweep through her. She wasn't crazy, she wasn't selfish.

"No. A person can only take so much, and you've had more than your fair share".

Naomi blew out another deep breath and dried her tears. Jordan was right; it did make her feel better to talk. The pain was still raw and fresh, she wasn't ready to confront anyone, but talking gave her hope that one day she would be okay again. She just wished it wouldn't take too long to fully recover.

"I do have one question" Jordan said, taking another sip of scotch. "I've never met this ex-husband of yours obviously, but I've gotten to know you. There's no way a man in his right mind would ever let you go. He had to be going through a midlife crisis or something".

"What's your question" Naomi asked.

"My question is...when Sam finally realizes his mistake and comes crawling back, will you take him back"?

"We already tried to reconcile once, it didn't work" Naomi said, not answering his question. She took another sip of her drink.

"Correction. You guys started fucking again. You guys became fuck buddies. And when it was time to make a commitment, he got scared. So you decided to end things before he could break your heart again" Jordan guessed.

Naomi would've been upset if Jordan wasn't speaking the truth. "The past is the past, no sense in talking about things we can't change. And regarding the future, Sam is not going to wake up one day and change his mind. Whatever he was looking for, he's apparently found somewhere else" Naomi said, taking another gulp to stifle the wrenching pain in her gut and tears from falling.

"Trust me, that day will come" Jordan affirmed. "So when it does, you better have an answer" he added, letting her off the hook. Naomi was still in love with Sam and didn't realize it. She'd moved on with other people, and maybe she really did love those other men, but her feelings for her ex-husband were never fully extinguished. But she wasn't ready to hear that or acknowledge it. The last three years with one dilemma after another had taught her self-denial.

"Can we change the subject" Naomi asked abruptly. "I really appreciate you listening to me, for sharing your story with me, but if we don't change the subject, I don't think I'll ever smile again" she said, finishing off her third drink.

Jordan downed the rest of his third scotch as well. "You know what always makes me feel better" he asked, looking at her with his intense gaze.

His gaze automatically made Naomi heat up, the alcohol coursing through her veins ignited flames in her lower belly. She knew what was coming but asked anyway. "What"?

"Sex".

"Jordan..." Naomi started.

"Just here me out" Jordan interrupted. "I'm attracted to you, and you're attracted to me. We've felt sparks since the day we met. What's the harm in helping each other forget our problems for a few hours"?

"You're right, I am attracted to you. And over the past couple of weeks, I've come to care for you deeply as a friend; tonight only made that bond stronger. That's the problem. Having sex would ruin our newly formed friendship; because both you and I know it would never evolve into anything more than sex. We're both too damaged to ever make whatever this is between us work. We're good at helping each other and comforting each other, but we could never truly heal each other. So why ruin the special bond we share with sex"?

"Why do you assume sex would ruin everything? You're right, we have too much baggage to ever be able carry each other's load. I do think we can heal each other but we'd only be prepping each other for other people. But we already know that going in. Sex doesn't have to ruin our friendship; it can be a condition of our friendship. People make friends so they have someone to talk to, hang out with, have fun with, have someone to be there and comfort them through bad times. We're grown Naomi, sex makes us feel good. It relieves stress. Sex between us would be nothing but an expression of our friendship, us comforting each other, having fun with each other".

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe she was tired. Either way, Jordan's crazy reasoning was beginning to make sense to her. What was the harm in having sex with him? There were no pretenses; they both knew where each other stood. There was a strong sexual pull between them, and Jordan was very easy on the eyes. Plus, it had been a while since she'd gotten her needs met. Slowly, Naomi stood up. Her balance was still intact, but she could really feel the scotch coursing through her veins now. It made her tingle, made the air feel electric, and made her feel alive and free. "You know what Mr. Adeyemi? You make an excellent case" Naomi said. She reached up and pulled down the spaghetti straps of her maxi dress and let the dress slip to the balcony floor. Standing in front of Jordan with no bra, in nothing but a pair of skimpy panties, she looked down at him. "Show me what you got".

...

Jordan stared at Naomi as she slept. Miraculously, they'd made it back up the stairs after the special dinner he'd made her. He'd missed her during the month they'd been apart. When the foundation he worked for asked him to come to Los Angeles to investigate some new research being done on AIDS and HIV, he'd jumped at the chance; not only because it was his life's work, but so he could see Naomi again. He'd felt slightly lost without his friend. Not for the first time, he wished they could be more; it just wasn't in the cards. Life had dealt them incompatible hands no matter how compatible they appeared. In simpler terms, they had bad timing. If only they had met each other years earlier, before life got in the way, when things were much simpler. Jordan was still grateful Naomi had crossed his path. The special bond they shared was still something he would never trade for the world. They had helped and continue to help each other through the darkest of times; helped in ways no one else could or even begin to understand. The first sun rays of a new day began filter across the bedroom. Naomi stirred, opening her eyes and looking directly into Jordan's. "Morning" she croaked, sleep still in her voice.

"Morning" Jordan said, stroking her face.

"What time is it? I need to get ready for work" she said.

"How about you take the day off. We still have a lot of catching up to do" Jordan hinted.

"Because I already took yesterday off. I just up and left in the middle of the work day" Naomi replied.

"One more day won't hurt. They survived three months without you; another twenty four hours won't matter".

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can just forget about my responsibilities and neglect my patients".

Jordan leaned down and kissed her. He mumbled against her lips "It's just one day Nae, just one little day". He began running his fingers down her spine, knowing it would turn her on.

Naomi's back arched as she moaned into Jordan's mouth. She was having a hard time catching her breath. "Well, at least let me call the off..offi...office" she stuttered, as Jordan started kissing down her neck.

**A/N: The next chapter will feature a flashback as well, but after that the story will stay in the present.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Sam looked at his reflection in the mirror, straightening his tie. More than anything, he wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. If he hadn't spent the night tossing and turning, Addison's constant moving would've kept him awake. Last night was their first major argument as a couple and there was no resolution in sight. She wanted a baby, he didn't. He already had a child and a grandchild; and while it was a great experience, he wasn't interested in experiencing it again. How could he explain that to her without it causing a rift in their relationship? They were just finding their groove to have it possibly torn apart so drastically. There was also Naomi to consider. She was trying to be a good sport, but Naomi was still hurt by his and Addison's relationship. Her ex-husband and former best friend having a baby together would be devastating for her. Sam loved Addison and didn't regret pursuing or being with her, but Naomi's feelings still mattered to him. Causing her more pain would hurt him as much as it would her. Sam briefly wondered whether Addison had even considered Naomi's feelings. It didn't matter; Addison's desire for a baby was what brought her to Los Angeles in the first place. She would be on the war path until she got what she wanted. But he just couldn't agree to have a baby with her, it didn't feel right. Their love had to find a way to overcome this seemingly impossible obstacle. If they couldn't work it out, why did they fight so hard to be together, why did they damage their friendship with Naomi? As he contemplated their dilemma, Sam heard Addison's cell phone vibrate against the nightstand. It was still relatively early in the morning. Who would be calling so early? With Addison in the shower and his curiosity peaking, he went to investigate. Seeing Naomi's name appear on the Caller ID surprised him; it was as if his thoughts had compelled her to call. She never called Addison anymore, it must be important. Picking it up before the phone stopped ringing, he said "Hello Naomi. I know..."

**_"Ooohh Jordan. Ahhhh...Jor...Jordan. You have to stop" Naomi moaned._**

**_"Why would I stop when we're both enjoying it so much" Jordan groaned._**

Sam, the remainder of his words stuck in his throat, looked at the phone like it was a foreign object. Was Naomi really...was she in bed with...was this really happening? No. Maybe he heard the words out of context. Silently and carefully, he placed the phone to his ear again.

_**"Aahhh shit Jordan! Please...just let me call Addi...Addison right quick so they...Mmmm...So they know...ooooh...I'm not coming today" Naomi panted. Jordan was making it hard for her to form coherent thoughts. He was slowly moving in and out of her, painfully slow, driving her insane.**_

_**"I think they'll get the idea..."Jordan paused to lick and suck Naomi's chocolate skin, tease her nipples... "When you don't show up".**_

Sam's thoughts went dark as he heard the sounds of his ex-wife moaning for another man, as he heard this stranger's voice seducing her. He wasn't stupid or ignorant; he knew Naomi had been with other men since their divorce, including Addison's brother. But to actually hear it was throwing him for a loop. Absentmindedly ending the call, he plopped down on the bed in a stupor. He should be happy for Naomi, right? His ex-wife was moving on, so yeah, he should be happy. Then why did he feel like his gut had just been ripped out? When the British guy showed up at the practice yesterday and kidnapped Naomi, Sam momentarily thought he felt a pang of jealousy. That emotion hadn't made sense to him; he was happy with Addison. He'd finally rationalized that he felt protective of Naomi; that as his ex-wife, someone he'd live with for more than a decade, the mother of his child, it was his responsibility to look out for her best interests. Now, after overhearing her have sex with another man, that same pang returned, only stronger. Intuitively, Sam knew he wouldn't be able to explain away his feelings so easy this time.

"Why are you holding my phone, did someone call" Addison asked out the blue. She was standing in front of Sam, wrapped in a towel. When had she left the bathroom?

"Oh, yeah" Sam asked, shaking his head, trying to rid it of confusion. "Naomi called; she wanted you to spread the word that she won't be coming to work today" he said, not bothering to give the sordid details.

"Oh really" Addison said, arching her brow. "Did she say why" she asked, already sure she knew the answer. It made her feel giddy inside; she was genuinely happy for Naomi. She was a good person who deserved happiness, especially with everything she'd been through. Addison hated that she was the cause of some of Naomi's grief; maybe this Jordan guy would help right the ship. Not only would it make her friend happy but it could also help repair their friendship.

"By the look on your face, I'd say you have a good guess" Sam replied, looking at his girlfriend attempting not to jump up and down.

"It's such great news" Addison exclaimed, jumping into Sam's lap. "Don't you see? Love heals all. If Naomi falls in love, she might be more willing to forgive, to accept other things" she gleamed, hinting at the baby issue. She bent down to give Sam a kiss and noticed his facial expression. Why didn't he seem happy about such happy news? "What's wrong"?

"Nothing, I just don't want you to get your hopes up again. Even if she is in love with this guy, I don't think it solves everything. I mean it's not like she's upset because she wanted me back. Naomi felt betrayed. Her moving on doesn't change that" Sam said, blowing Addison's high. So she had thought about Naomi, Sam gathered. But she assumed Naomi was the only reason he didn't want to have a baby, instead of it being one of many reasons. Gently, Sam pushed Addison off his lap onto the bed. He rubbed his forehead and stood up; a migraine was threatening to take control of him. "I'm going to head downstairs, I need some coffee. I'll see you when you're ready" he said walking out the bedroom, leaving Addison looking and feeling bewildered.

...

Dragging their feet, Jordan and Naomi reluctantly walked into the Nigerian airport. Three weeks went by faster than they had anticipated. They looked at the flight board, both focusing on the flight that would carry them home and immerse them back into their problems. "I don't think I'm ready, I still can't face them. I wish I was an evolved person who could move on, but my head and my heart won't get on the same page" Naomi confessed, squeezing Jordan's hand for support.

"I know what you mean. I don't want to go home either. I don't want to spend my days sitting by the phone hoping for a call that won't come. My son doesn't want to see me" Jordan replied, squeezing Naomi's hand back.

"Who says you have to go home? You can wait for a phone call anywhere. Me, on the other hand, I have to confront people just to do my job. Words of advice Jordan; never go into business with your husband or hire your best friend. Because when things go sour, there's no escape".

"There's always an out if you really want it Naomi. You don't want out because despite everything, you still love them. You just wish you could rewind the clock and change what happened".

Naomi couldn't deny what he was saying but it didn't change the fact that she wasn't ready to face her problems. "I wish I could rewind the clock about three weeks. Helping people and constant sex seems like the perfect existence. Why did our time together have to end so soon? I'm really going to miss you" Naomi said, leaning into Jordan.

A light bulb clicked on in Jordan's head. "Who says our time together has to be over? Your foundation work is over for now and my AIDS research is on hiatus, so why can't we spend more time together? Let's just pick a random place and go" Jordan said excitedly, the idea really taking hold.

"Jordan, I can't. I have a job; my child and my grandchild need me. What would I tell everybody when I didn't show up on Monday? As much as I want to run away, we can't hide from the world forever".

"I'm not talking about running away; I'm talking about taking a break. Our problems will still be there no matter when we decide to rejoin civilization. Come on Naomi, we both need this. Your practice has managed to stay afloat for three weeks; they can get along a little longer without you. You do a video chat with Maya and Olivia every day. We're grown, we don't have to explain our actions to anyone; all they need to know is that our travel plans have been extended. They don't have to know where or what we're up to". Jordan grabbed Naomi by the shoulders and turned her to face him. He enveloped her in a hug and rocked her back and forth. "Come on Naomi, helping people might be over for now, but that doesn't mean we can't keep the constant sex going. I could never get enough of you" he whispered in her ear.

Naomi's breath hitched. "And how long would we be gone" she asked, beginning to consider the proposition.

"As long as we want; we'll leave when we feel like it. Just pick the place Nae, and we'll hop a flight right now. We'll deal with everything as it comes".

Looking up into Jordan's eyes, Naomi saw his sincerity. He was suggesting this for her, but it was clear he needed an escape as badly as she did. "Well, I've always wanted to go to Tahiti" she said, letting go and giving in. She was going to do something for herself for once, and for Jordan.

...

"I miss Tahiti" Naomi said; she and Jordan were lying in bed, tangled up in the sheets eating take out Chinese from the box. After spending all day yesterday, last night, and that morning having sex, they were hungry and exhausted. "Two months without any worries or cares, sleeping till noon, the massages, the food, snorkeling, swimming with the dolphins, laying on the beach; I even loved those bright colored flowers you used to put in my hair. They smelled so wonderful. It was bliss" she continued, feeding Jordan another forkful of lo-mein.

"I liked having sex on the beach more than laying on it; or having sex in the ocean, the pool, or the time we found that waterfall when we were hiking. Basically, any time you were naked is a favorite memory of mine".

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you only liked me for my body" Naomi mumbled, munching on an egg roll.

"I do only like you for your body" Jordan deadpanned.

Naomi playfully slapped him on his bare chest. "So all the deep and meaningful conversations meant nothing? All the confiding in each other about our problems, fears, and dreams was just a ploy to get me in bed. Our mutual interest in world healthcare plays no part in your liking me as a person. That's what you're saying"?

"Yep" he said, hiding his smile.

Hitting him again, Naomi laughed. "You are such a liar".

Jordan chuckled, leaned over and kissed Naomi on the forehead. "So how are you? How are you dealing with seeing Sam and Addison everyday" he asked, changing their easy conversation into a serious one.

"I'm okay. The emotions are still there...the pain, hurt, and anger; but it doesn't control my life. It's not easy being around them, but it isn't as hard as I thought either. I'm able to have work related and sometimes casual conversations with them without losing it. I talk to Sam a little more than Addison, but only because of Maya and Olivia. All I can say is those three months with you made a difference; I'm learning to handle things as they come and letting go what I can't control". Naomi rested her head against Jordan's chest, snuggled against him. Just being close to him made all her uneasiness vanish.

"Do you ever think you'll get to a place where you can truly forgive them"?

"Have you forgiven your wife" Naomi asked.

"That's different" Jordan defended.

"It is. I don't mean to compare our situations, I'm sorry. The point I'm trying to make is when you've been hurt as deeply as we both have, no matter what caused it, is it even possible to forgive? I've only been dealing with this for six months; you've had more than sixteen years to come to terms. You would know better than me".

"Don't apologize; I know you weren't trying to downplay my situation. I guess I was just avoiding answering because I don't have an answer. Some days I really do think I have forgiven Michelle. Other days, I can't help but think what my life, our life, would have been like if she hadn't given up. My daughter would have been twenty one. She would have been in school, she could have been in love, maybe even married; but she'll never get to experience any of it. I can't help but think about how much better my son's quality of like would have been like; he might have been a perfectly normal healthy baby. I want to forgive Michelle, but her actions didn't just affect me, it affected our children". Jordan sighed in frustration. Playing the 'what if' game wasn't healthy, but he couldn't help it. His children deserved so much better.

"Have you heard from your son" Naomi asked quietly. She knew it was slowly killing him to not have contact with him.

"No. Jacob still won't have anything to do with me. My mom gives me updates; she says he's doing fine. She keeps telling me he'll come around, but it's been almost a year Naomi. I'm going crazy. Being with you is the only thing that keeps me sane".

"He will come around Jordan, he will" Naomi reassured. "You keep me going too. I missed you this last month; your emails kept me grounded".

"Same here" Jordan said, running his fingers through Naomi's hair.

"How long are you going to be in town" Naomi asked.

"The AIDS research should only keep me occupied for a week or two. But I can be persuaded to stay longer" Jordan hinted.

"Stay right here with me" Naomi said, snuggling closer. "Stay as long as you want. I need you" she admitted.

"I need you too" he said. There was a moment of silence before Jordan added, "Is there any way you can take off work tomorrow. I really missed you".

Naomi chuckled. "I would say no, but it would be a waste of time. You'd manage to talk me into it".

"Damn right" Jordan laughed, leaning down to kiss her.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Morning" Naomi sang, walking into the practice's kitchen with a huge grin on her face. She was wearing a long flowing maxi dress and her hair was pulled back in a stylishly messy bun. Her beautifully shaped face was highlighted by the huge gold hoop earrings she wore. As great as she looked on the outside, Naomi felt ten times better on the inside. Jordan being in town had her in a glorious mood. Humming to herself, she grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet to make some hot tea. She was too lost in her own world to notice the lack of response to her greeting until she turned around. All eight of her colleagues were staring at her. "What" she asked, playing coy.

Sixteen eyes rolled in annoyance, but no one spoke. Quickly deciphering she wouldn't get a response, nor be permitted to leave the kitchen, until she gave up information, Naomi sighed. "His name is Jordan Adeyemi, he's from London by way of Nigeria, he's a doctor who specializes in AIDS and HIV research, that's why he's in LA, he was part of the group of doctors I was traveling around Africa with, that's how we met, and we are just friends. Satisfied" Naomi asked, hoping she'd get off easy.

"Just friends" Pete asked incredulously.

"Yep, just friends" Naomi smiled sweetly. Clearly, they didn't believe her but she was telling the truth. She and Jordan were just friends, friends who liked to have tons of sex, but friends nonetheless. The strong sexual pull between them was chemical while their friendship was emotional. The two facets of their relationship were separate, but complimentary. Sex made them feel good, but it didn't rule their friendship. They could easily, well maybe not easily, stop having sex and still share their deep emotional bond. They truly deeply madly loved each other, they just weren't in love.

"Naomi, you're glowing. You're so bright and shiny; you've got to be radioactive. Friends don't make each other glow like that" Charlotte said.

"Well, I guess there's a first time for everything" Naomi said, not offering further explanation. If she was bright and shiny, it was because Jordan simply made her feel better; he gave her a new lease on life. How could she explain that without them taking it to extremes? Walking over to the island, she picked up an apple. "So is there any business or cases I need to be brought up to speed on" she asked, looking to change the subject.

"You mean any business or cases we had to handle when you left us completely hanging" Amelia asked. "Let me guess, you and your 'friend' (Amelia finger quoted) were having too much fun to think about working" she said, smirking.

"Seriously, you disappeared from the office claiming you'd be back the next day and it's been three days" Cooper cosigned.

"I'm sorry. I'll admit that I should have warned you I wasn't coming back to the office for a few days. But why do yall seem so upset with me" Naomi asked, slightly confused.

"Guys, in all fairness she did call the second day. I told you she called. So what if she forgot to call yesterday; I'm sure it was an honest mistake" Addison spoke up, defending Naomi.

She didn't call; why was Addison lying for her Naomi wondered. She'd tried to call but Jordan had been very effective in keeping her distracted. Regardless of the reason, Naomi indulged Addison with a small smile. It was generous of her to play referee; it made Naomi feel slightly nostalgic. "Thank you Addison", she said, showing her appreciation.

Addison inwardly beamed; this had to be a turning point in their damaged friendship. For the first time in months, it felt like Naomi was talking to her without a glass wall separating them. Addison didn't even notice the look of confusion on her face, but Sam did. And he knew exactly why she was confused.

"I don't think anyone is upset with you" Sheldon said, refocusing the conversation. "We're just all extremely nosy Naomi. We don't know this guy but he seems to make you happy; we want to know why. You being tightlipped doesn't go over well because we're used to hearing everything" he said, smiling.

Sheldon was good at his job; he had a special way of putting things in perspective and soothing egos at the same time. However, Naomi couldn't help but pick up on his and their concern; she secretly thought they were all waiting for her to break down over Sam and Addison. It wasn't going to happen, and if it did, it wouldn't be in front of them. "There isn't much to spill and I'm not lying or hiding anything. Jordan and I really are friends; if it seems like more, it's because we genuinely like each other. We really bonded in Africa, we have a lot in common" Naomi said, only feeling slightly guilty. Technically, she wasn't being dishonest, but her words were a little misleading. If one of them flat out asked her if she was having sex with Jordan, she would confess to it; but she wasn't going to volunteer the information. They wouldn't understand anyway, they would think she was lying about being romantically involved with him; the eight pairs of eyes staring at her confirmed her misgivings, though they seemed less hostile.

"I guess that's that then. I have a patient" Pete said, leaving the kitchen. If Naomi didn't feel like sharing the whole story, he wasn't going to push. She would share only when and if she wanted to. All the other doctors, feeling the same way, followed suit until she was left alone in the kitchen with Sam.

Sam studied Naomi while she watched everyone disperse into their separate offices. She really was glowing; her colleagues ganging up on her didn't affect her brightness at all. The confusion in her eyes was the only lingering trace left from their conversation. "A little awkward, huh" Sam asked, getting her attention.

"A little. I know they're nosy, I am too. But it felt different; it wasn't the normal interrogation we usually put each other through; they didn't just seem nosy, they seemed worried" Naomi lamented.

"Because they are; you've been a little out of character lately. This is just the latest incident. You're the responsible one, blowing off work is not your style. And given everything that's happened lately"...

"I'm fine" Naomi said quickly, she didn't need reminders. "I really am, or at least I'm more okay than they think I am".

"Then why weren't you honest with them" Sam asked.

"What are you talking about" Naomi asked.

Sam sighed, he didn't want to talk about it but she gave him no choice. "Let me just give you a little advice. You might want to be careful where you put your phone; one day it might accidentally call someone on its own and you might not want people to overhear what you're up to".

Naomi repeated the words in her head until they sunk in. When she finally understood, her heart began to race and she blushed so hard, a hint of pink appeared on her chocolate cheeks. She remembered reaching for the phone when Jordan had effectively seduced her; she hadn't even thought about her phone again until she found it tangled in the sheets hours later. No wonder Addison said she called; she must have picked up her phone and overheard her having sex with Jordan and then told Sam. However, Addison didn't seem aware of her and Jordan having sex; she seemed just as curious as the others. Sam, on the other hand, had seemed…Sam had picked up the phone! She couldn't believe it; of all people, why did it have to be her ex-husband? Surprisingly, he remained discreet, not even telling Addison. Naomi was thankful and mortified at the same time. "Sam...thank you for..."

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I just wanted to give you a piece of advice" Sam said, breaking eye contact with her as he stood up. Memories of her moaning flashed through his head; it was making it difficult to focus.

How could the man who had shattered her world repeatedly be so sweet and understanding when he felt like it? Touching his shoulder, she forced him to look at her. "Thank you anyway" she said softly, before leaving the kitchen.

Sam knew he should just let her walk away but at the last minute, he reached out and grasped her hand. When Naomi looked back, he said "I'm glad you found Jordan if he makes you happy, it he makes you feel better. But he's not the only one who cares. You're not by yourself Nae, let your friends in".

He still had the ability to read her with incredible accuracy Naomi thought; it was frustrating. "Thanks Sam" she repeated, walking away, looking at her tingling hand.

Sam watched her walk away, his heart in his throat, his hand tingling.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, this chapter is very long. I really wanted to get into Naomi's mind with this chapter. I wrote it to the best of my ability, but I'm not that confident in it. I hope everyone gets it. I would also like to say that this story is meant to follow the storyline of the actual show. I have/will make modifications here and there that deviate from PP, but my intent is to just fill in holes to storylines that already existed on the show. I do know who I would like Naomi to end up with but this story is evolving as I write it, so you never know. Keep commenting to let me know what you think :)**

Chapter Nine

"Hey, why is everyone in the conference room" Naomi asked as she walked into Violet's office and plopped down on one of the couches. Missing three days of work was coming back to haunt her. Between catching up on paperwork and seeing rescheduled patients, her morning had been swamped.

Violet was perched at the edge of her desk, tinkering with her cell phone. "We have a new case that's a little controversial; we scheduled a meeting today to decide if we should take them on as a patient. I guess we forgot to mention it this morning. The meeting is supposed to start in fifteen minutes if you're available" Violet answered blandly. She didn't give Naomi any details nor did she even bother to look up from her phone.

Naomi studied Violet and considered Sam's earlier advice; his words had resonated with her. It was time to stop carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, to explain to her friends how she felt and reassure them that she was slowly but surely healing. If Jordan were there, he'd probably encourage her to open up too. Naomi decided to start with Violet; their friendship had suffered a little when Addison joined the practice, but Naomi knew Violet would always be there for her, and Violet knew Naomi would always be there for her too. The incredible restraint Violet showed that morning was admirable; Violet was the nosiest one of the group and she hadn't uttered one word. Even now, she was avoiding eye contact to keep her questions at bay. "Okay Violet, let me have it" Naomi said, cutting to the chase.

"Have what" Violet asked, playing dumb.

"Whatever you're dying to ask me. I know it almost killed you to not bombard me with questions this morning. Ask anything you want and I promise I'll answer" Naomi promised.

Surprised, Violet dropped her phone on her desk with a loud thud. Rising from her desk, she walked towards Naomi. "You're serious, no subject is off limits"?

Naomi hesitated, wondering if she would later regret this. "Nothing is off limits" she confirmed.

Violet could barely contain herself. Her friend was finally opening up; she didn't want to squander the opportunity. Naomi might not give her another chance. Going to the door, she closed and locked it. She drew the blinds, walked to the couch opposite Naomi and sat down. There were so many questions; she didn't know where to start. After a moment, Violet decided to start with the most obvious question and let the conversation naturally evolve from there.

_**"As usual, Violet is going to be late. And did anyone even bother to tell Naomi about the meeting" Pete said, annoyed.**_

_**"If no one did, I'm guessing Violet is about to" Amelia said, as she watched Naomi walk into Violet's office. The other doctors turned just in time to see Violet drop her phone and walk towards Naomi, excitement in her eyes. Seconds later, the blinds closed.**_

_**"What the hell is going on" Pete started when his phone rang. It was Violet's number. "Guys, Violet's phone is calling me, it must've dialed me when she dropped it" Pete announced, leaving his unasked question hanging in the air.**_

_**"You're not suggesting we listen, are you" Sheldon asked.**_

_**Was there a phone epidemic going on Sam wondered as Amelia answered. "Hell yeah, we should listen. I want to know what's going on, don't act like you guys don't.**_

_**Pete looked around the table. No one would verbally agree with her, but they weren't denying her words either. Amelia's sentiments rang true. On the last ring, Pete answered his phone and put it on speakerphone for everyone to hear. They picked up the conversation when Violet asked, "So what's the real deal between you and Jordan"?**_

"We're friends" Naomi said, grabbing a pillow and holding it close to her chest. She had a feeling this would be a long and emotionally draining discussion.

"Oh come on Naomi! The electricity between you could spark a fire. And I only saw him for two seconds. You didn't even bother to introduce him when he showed up on Valentine's Day before you disappeared with him for three days. I thought you were going to tell me the truth" Violet said.

"I am telling the truth" Naomi said simply.

"So you're telling me that you've never slept with him" Violet asked skeptically.

"I never said that. Jordan and I have sex constantly, there's just nothing romantic about it".

_**"I knew it" Amelia yelled.**_

_**"Shut up Amelia! Do you want them to find out we're eavesdropping" Cooper whispered angrily.**_

_**"Relax Cooper, I doubt they heard us" Pete said. "So Naomi has a sex buddy. I'm so proud" he joked. Everyone laughed, except Sam. He tried to pretend Naomi's sex life was new news to him, but it was hard. All he could offer was a small smile; one he couldn't put much effort into since he was trying to ignore the pain in his gut.**_

_**"Shut up so I can hear what they're saying" Addison said suddenly, quieting the doctors.**_

"Why didn't you just say so" Violet asked, a little irritated. "You know that's what we wanted to know. Are you embarrassed? There's nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits".

"Because I decided I wouldn't tell anyone unless I was directly asked. I knew you guys wouldn't get it. You'd think I was lying about the nature of our relationship or as you just said, think we were friends with benefits. Jordan is more than that; we're not toys that use each other when it's convenient. Just because we're not in love doesn't mean we don't love each other. You just wouldn't understand" Naomi explained, blowing out a breath.

"Then help me understand" Violet said, sitting back into the couch to get comfortable. She had a feeling this was going to be a long complicated answer; that somehow the bulk of Naomi's problems directly played into her relationship with Jordan.

_**The silent pause lasted so long, the doctors in the conference room began to fidget. The fact that Naomi was taking so long to respond did not bode well. "Are you sure the phone is still connected" Charlotte asked.**_

_**Pete looked down at his phone. "Yep. It's still on" he answered, his face frowning in worry. The moments slowly ticked by as they waited for Naomi to speak.**_

"Naomi" Violet said softly.

Twiddling her thumbs, Naomi looked up at the ceiling. She could do this; it would make her stronger, it would help her heal. Dropping her gaze, she looked her close friend in the eye. "As you know, these last few years have been...extremely hard for me, for all of us..."

"You don't have to acknowledge my problems or anyone else's problems right now" Violet interrupted. "This is about you. You've helped all of us through our problems; let me do the same for you. Okay"?

Naomi nodded; she took a deep breath and began again. "You've met my parents, right" she asked.

"Once, about six years ago; right before your father died" Violet answered, not sure where she was going.

"What did you think about them"?

Going with the flow, Violet indulged Naomi with an answer. "I thought your father was extremely nice, attentive, and caring. He reminded me of you. Your mother...she was polite. She was perfectly nice but she seemed a little detached, emotionally distant; not as warm as Cooper's mom but not as cold as Addison's mother".

_**The doctors stifled a laugh, avoiding looking at how Addison reacted. Sam rubbed her back to keep her calm.**_

"That's an accurate description. My dad was the most wonderful father in the world. Whenever I had a bad day, he would console me. He took time out of his busy schedule just to spend time with me and my brother. Even after I left home, he was always checking up on me. We talked at least once a week. My mother, on the other hand, I know she loved me but sometimes it got lost in translation. She was so invested in my future, I felt invisible to her in the present. She was determined for me to succeed in life, professionally and personally. All she would talk about was what I failed to do instead of what I had already accomplished; about how my current decisions would affect my future. So in order to please her, I became a perfectionist. But no matter how well I did, she could only see what I needed to do next". Naomi paused; her mother always provoked mix feelings.

Violet was completely lost but she remained silent. Naomi would eventually get to the point.

I resented my mother, I still do, because she never took the time to tell me she loved me or was proud of me like my dad did. But in many ways, she rubbed off on me. I worked my butt off in college and medical school, graduated near the top of my class, became one of the most sought after fertility specialist in the country. Even in my personal life, I succeeded. I married Sam, had a beautiful baby girl. I did everything I was supposed to do, and I did it the right way and in the right order. I was living the perfect life, the dream. And then one morning I woke up and my world completely disintegrated. My husband told me he didn't love me anymore, that our marriage was stifling him, and that he wanted a divorce". Naomi coughed, tried to keep her emotions at bay by choking them down. A lone tear still escaped her right tear duct.

_**Sam's heart stopped. He didn't know exactly where Naomi was going with her monologue, but he had a feeling his involvement in her story was just the beginning. He felt eyes staring at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but he kept his focus on the cellphone in the middle of the table.**_

Violet started to stand, to reach over and comfort Naomi but she was stopped. "I'm fine, really. It still hurts when I think about it, but I've moved on. I'm not dwelling on the past. I'm sharing all of this with you to explain my next point. With all the pushing my mother did, she never prepared me for what to do when things went wrong. She didn't explain to me that no matter how hard you worked, things could still fall apart. So when the bottom fell out, I had absolutely no coping skills. My father had passed away; I didn't have his strength and comfort to lean on. So I tried to teach myself; I went with the old-fashioned 'fake it till you make it' method. And every time I thought it was working, that I could get through my current dilemma, another bomb would explode. I hired Addison only for her and Sam to take over the practice behind my back. And while I acknowledge the part I played, I wish they would have come to me instead of pushing me out. I would have still been angry, but I wouldn't have felt betrayed. I was sleeping with Sam at the time for crying out loud. Could you imagine being in you ex-husband's bed one night, a man who doesn't want to be married to you or even make a commitment but doesn't mind fucking you, only to wake up the next day to find he's stolen your job? But despite everything, you still love him and you feel so lonely and lost, you keep sleeping with him"?

"_**Oh man" Pete said. "I have a feeling this about to get very dark". He looked over at Sam who was loosening his tie. He had no defense for what Naomi was saying and he knew it. The pain and regret was written all over his face.**_

_**Sam felt Addison place her hand on his. He badly wanted to snatch his hand back, but he let her try to comfort him. Addison didn't know that nothing at this point was going to soothe him. Plus, she needed comfort too. Taking over the practice had nearly ruined her friendship with Naomi back then. It had taken months for them to reach normalcy again. Sam squeezed Addison's hand for her benefit.**_

"I remember. That's why I told you to stop sleeping with him; which you did...until you started up again" Violet recalled.

"I know. He was like a bad drug habit I couldn't shake. And then when I finally did shake him, another bomb dropped in the form of Addison's brother. I finally moved on with the worst possible person. And the worst part is that I knew better. Not only did Addison repeatedly warn me, but I knew from firsthand experience; I watched Archer screw everything in sight when we were in med school together. But instead of thinking with my head, I used my vagina and it bit me in the ass. In retrospect, it wasn't love, it was lust; but it still hurt when he left. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Two men in two years wanted nothing to do with me".

"_**How could someone as beautiful and kindhearted as Naomi ever think she wasn't good enough" Sheldon exclaimed. "Any man would be lucky to have her".**_

"_**Tell that to the men who left her" Charlotte said, looking at Sam. "Any woman's confidence is bound to be shaken when men keep pulling disappearing acts on her.**_

"So you decided to date for fun because you didn't believe there was anyone out there that would stick" Violet guessed. She remembered the days when Naomi and Pete seemed to be bar hopping every night. Naomi was trying to date away her pain and Pete was busy trying to forget her and the drama she'd put him through. At the time, they weren't sure if Lucas was his son.

"Exactly. And then the next bomb dropped. I was so wrapped up in my own woes; I wasn't paying close enough attention to my daughter".

"Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened to Maya. You're a great mom Naomi; kids are stubborn, sometimes they have to learn the hard way" Violet said.

"I know. But I can't help but think that I didn't do enough. In some ways I've become my mom; I don't think Maya felt comfortable enough to approach me. And I proved her right. I tried to force her to have an abortion which goes completely against my moral beliefs. I didn't support her marriage. And when I didn't get my way, I more or less ignored her for the majority of her pregnancy. I thank God every day that you guys were there for her and I'll never forgive myself for neglecting my own child when she needed me most. Coping skills or not, it should be a mother's natural instinct to be there for her child.

"Naomi..." Violet began.

"God didn't forgive me either, that's how it felt at the time" Naomi interrupted, changing the subject yet again. "Looking back, I think I fell for Fife from the first moment I saw him. He was mean, arrogant, annoying but everything he did affected me so personally. However, before I could come to terms with my feelings for him, William stepped right in. He was sweet, nice, and charming. He gave me my job, gave me a chance to start over. I was very fond of him but I think I started dating him because I felt indebted to him. I fought so hard to be happy with him and not complain; William was the perfect man...on paper. Fife was just...right. And he was like a dog with a bone when he decided to pursue me. I loved the chase almost as much as I loved him; so when the very first opportunity arose, I fell right into bed with him. Again, I went against my own beliefs and became something I detested, a cheater. As much as I loved Fife, I couldn't live with the guilt and learning that William was sick made me feel guiltier. It was a no brainer to fly to Switzerland to be with him during his treatment; it was my way of trying to make amends for my indiscretion. I was concentrating so hard on taking care of him and trying to forget Fife, nine weeks passed before I realized I was pregnant.

"_**She and Fife" Cooper gasped.**_

"_**No wonder he left so fast" Pete surmised.**_

"_**I knew she liked him but I never knew she acted on it" Addison said, in shock.**_

"_**Pregnant" Amelia asked. The next question hung in the air. What happened to the baby?**_

"Pregnant" Violet gasped in shock. "You never said anything".

Naomi's voice was reduced to a whisper now. "If people don't believe in karma, they should. I was so mad at Maya for making me feel like failure, for forgetting to use contraception, for having sex in the first place. Then I turned around and did the same damn thing; fell into bed like some sex crazed teenager and forgot about the consequences. And since I was so intent on Maya getting an abortion, I guessed God saw fit to make sure I suffered a miscarriage. I hemorrhaged so badly, I almost bled out. It took three days in the Swiss hospital to stabilize me. The doctors said it was stress but I strongly believed it was my punishment. I believed I should have died in that hospital. And if not then, I should have died the night Olivia was born. After my miscarriage, I tried to get my act together; Maya and I were repairing our relationship. But when she went into labor, she called Dell. She should have been able to call me; it should have been me in that car, not Dell. Because of my selfish actions, Dell died and Betsy lost her dad". Tears were flowing freely down Naomi's face.

"_**Oh Naomi" Addison cried. She was hurting for her best friend; she felt horrible that she wasn't in a position to comfort her when she needed it most. Being with Sam meant her privileges were forfeited.**_

"_**She wasn't kidding about bombs exploding. It seems like Naomi hasn't gotten a break in four years" Cooper said gravely. He looked at his fiancé who was trying her best to hide the tears pouring out of leaky eyes.**_

Violet couldn't take it anymore; her friend was hurting more deeply than she ever knew. Standing up, she went to sit next to Naomi on the other couch. Wrapping her arms around her she said, "Don't say things like that Naomi. Some things just happen that are beyond are control. God doesn't hate you, nor is he holding a grudge. The drunk driver who hit Maya and Dell is responsible for Dell's death, not you. Do you think we'd be better off if you had died either in Switzerland or in that car accident? You're too good of a person for the world to be without you. I'm so sorry about the baby Naomi, I truly am but none of it is your fault. Things just happen".

"I know that logically, but my heart still feels guilty. I'm getting there; I'm in a much better place than I was six months ago. But talking about it brings up old feelings, makes me feel like I'm being transported to the past. I could've handled things so much better. I was a complete mess and it affected my decisions" Naomi explained, clinging to Violet.

"Can I ask...the baby...was it William or Fife's" Violet asked hesitantly.

"William and I never slept together. It was Fife's baby; he never knew. He was so angry with me for leaving, he packed his bags and left. I haven't heard from him since. Once William found out about me and Fife, he forgave me before I could finish apologizing. He apologized for pursuing me in the first place when he knew he was dying. William even encouraged me to go after Fife, but I felt the least I could do was stay. So I did and in return he left his foundation to me".

"Which is how you eventually met Jordan" Violet said, realizing Naomi's story was finally becoming full circle".

"Yeah. Right around the time I slept with Fife, I discovered Sam and Addison had feelings for each other. They promised me that nothing happened and I wanted so badly to believe them. I was upset but I had it in mind that when I came home from Switzerland, I would try to mend my relationships with them, like I did with Maya. I wanted to get my life back on track. But that was impossible, my worst nightmare came true. When I found out about Sam and Addison, that was the final nail in my coffin. I wasn't just hurt, I was broken; I felt fractured and splintered into a million pieces".

_**Sam and Addison felt everyone's attention turn to them. But they were too busy looking at each other; they both sensed each other's regret for hurting Naomi, but how could they truly be remorseful when they loved each other? It was a catch 22, there was no winner.**_

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt? We knew you were upset, but not to this extent. We didn't realize everything you were dealing with" Violet said.

"I didn't want to put you or anyone else in the middle. I didn't want you to feel like you had to pick sides, so I just kept my mouth shut. And when foundation business was presented to me, I took the opportunity and ran. I've always been interested in world healthcare, but I ran because I had no other choice. Violet, I was on the verge like never before. If I would have stayed and tried to pretend everything was normal, I would've wound up in a locked room with padded walls. Meeting Jordan and those three months away was the best thing that ever happened to me" For the first time since their conversation started, Naomi smiled. Jordan made her smile.

"_**Wow. Even when she's hurting, she's still considerate" Amelia commented.**_

"What drew you two together" Violet asked.

"I was still reeling when I landed in Africa. Tears would stream down my face without me even noticing. Jordan picked me up from the airport. At first I thought he was some random stranger trying to make a pass at me, but I was too emotionally bruised to take him seriously. Though I have to admit, the attraction to him was instantaneous. But it was strictly physical; my heart didn't flutter but a pool of heat centered between my thighs. It scared me; I knew I wasn't in a good head space to make rational decisions. I thought he would take advantage of my weakness, but Jordan did the opposite. He commented on the mutual attraction between us but he didn't push; he was a friend, he listened when I talked, told me things I needed to hear, he was my support system".

"How did you wind up sleeping with him"?

Naomi's smile turned bittersweet. "I'd just gotten an email from you about Betsy. It left me depressed and considering whether I should come home; at the same time, I knew I was too damaged to come home and I would be no good to Betsy. Jordan knocked on my door and saw my distress; he asked if I wanted to talk but I refused. So he suggested we trade horror stories. The fact that he was willing to open up to help me convinced me to talk. So through a scotch induced haze, we talked about our situations. It helped both of us to get things off our chests, but it left us sadder than ever. Jordan suggested we have sex to make us feel better. I originally told him no, that it would make things messy, ruin our friendship. He was confident sex would only strengthen our friendship, that it would be only an expression of our close bond. I don't know if his words made sense to me or I was too tipsy to care. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of him naked" Naomi laughed. "And as they say the rest in history".

"He must be pretty good at what he does to get you to skip work for three days" Violet laughed.

"_**He definitely looked like a back breaker" Amelia said, winking at Charlotte. She knew Charlotte was thinking the same thing but wouldn't dare admit it in front of Cooper.**_

Naomi's happy mood was returning. Her face became bright and animated. "Earth shattering Violet, the sex is earth shattering. And it's purely physical. Our love for each other doesn't interfere with our sex life and vice versa. Sex with him is more like therapy".

_**Sam felt the knot in his stomach twist tighter; he felt like throwing up. Hearing his ex-wife talk about another man's prowess in bed infuriated him. Maybe it was his ego, but he didn't want anyone touching her, caressing her, making her cum as well or better than he did. Not only did he own the title as her first lover, he wanted to keep the title as her best lover. It was stupid, he knew. Sam shouldn't even care, but he did. And he couldn't explain why.**_

"Sex therapy" Violet said. "I like it".

"It's more like soul therapy. I loved Sam with every fiber of my being; when he left, he took a piece of me with him. Not only did he make me feel unlovable, he made me feel worthless. Archer only added to how I was already feeling. I ruined things with Fife all on my own; I let my guilt and mess of a life sabotage whatever could have been between us. My self-esteem was bottomed out; I convinced myself it wouldn't have lasted anyway. Then I met Jordan; he helped me realize somewhere along the way, I stopped loving myself. He helped me regain my confidence. When he looks at me with desire in his eyes, he makes me feel like a woman. When he touches me, he makes me feel worthy. When he kisses me, I feel loved. Every time I'm with him, I get a little piece of myself back that I thought was gone forever. Being around him heals my soul little by little, and the best part is that I do the same for him". Naomi closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch.

_**Would the level of hurt he had inflicted on Naomi ever end Sam wondered. He was feeling lower than low at this point.**_

"Wow" was all Violet could muster.

"Exactly. Jordan is like another drug to me, but this time it's a good drug". Naomi opened her eyes and looked at Violet. "I have another confession to make".

"I don't know what else you could possibly tell me". Violet's system was on overload from all the information Naomi shared with her. "What is it"?

"You know I was only supposed to be gone for three weeks right? But when my time was up, I still didn't feel strong enough to come home and face my life, I didn't want to leave Jordan. So when we got to the airport, he asked me to pick a place and suggested we go. We hopped a plane to Tahiti and stayed for two months. We did nothing but lie on the beach, talk, eat, drink and have sex for ten weeks straight. It was glorious" Naomi exclaimed.

"_**Wow" Pete said. "Naomi is just full of surprises. I'm starting to doubt how well I know her".**_

"_**I know what you mean" Cooper agreed.**_

"How did you ever decide to come home" Violet asked.

"Partly because it seemed like so many things kept happening here while I was away. Also, it was just time. I'd finally gotten enough time and space to work through all of my emotions. The next step was to come home and get back to my life, deal with my new reality. I'll never be able to fully heal until I deal with everything head on. I won't pretend and say it's been easy, but every day I feel a little stronger, a little better. And having Jordan here will only speed up that process".

"Are you sure you're not in love with Jordan"? The way Naomi's eyes lit up when she mentioned him was intriguing.

"I'm sure. I love him, I really do, with all of my heart, but we're not in love. What Jordan and I share is more like what you and Cooper have, plus sex" Naomi laughed.

_**Cooper shook his head at the comparison.**_

"It sounds more like what you and Sam had" Violet said cautiously.

Surprised, Naomi's eyes popped. She thought about it, compared the two men. "No, Jordan is very observant. He can tell when I'm upset; he gets me to open up and he's really skilled at giving me a different perspective. That's why it's easy to talk to him. With Sam, it wasn't necessary. Sam would automatically know what I was upset about, how I felt, and why I felt that way. I never had to express anything because we were always on the same page".

_**That was so true. Throughout their marriage, Sam and Naomi were so in sync. Not only were they spouses, they were best friends. Sam thought about how he never had to explain a thing to Naomi; with Addison, he had to explain everything. He could read Addison but she wasn't good at doing the same. Not like Naomi who he was sure could still read him when she chose to.**_

"Maybe you and Jordan could build up to that point" Violet suggested.

"Maybe, but I'm not sure if I want it to. I like where we are now" Naomi said. She was suddenly very tired of their conversation. Telling Violet her story had been much harder than telling Jordan. Violet knew her too well; she was there for so many of the traumatic events in her life. "I think I've sufficiently spilled my guts. I don't think I could say more even if there was more to tell. Thank you for listening, I love you". She leaned over and gave Violet a long deep hug.

_**The thought of them forming an even deeper connection didn't sit well with Sam. He was more than ready for Violet and Naomi's conversation to be over. He didn't think his heart could take another surprise or big revelation.**_

Violet hugged her back with equal fierceness. "Thank you for sharing, I love you too". She pulled away slightly to look Naomi in the eye. "Don't ever be afraid or think you have to endure your problems by yourself ever again. I'm here for you whenever you need".

"I know" Naomi said. "I know. But let's hope nothing else happens" she joked. Looking at Violet's face and touching her own, she saw and felt dried tears. Naomi continued "Why don't we freshen up and join the others in the conference room. I think it's safe to say we're more than a little late to the meeting".

"Oh my god, I completely forgot. Let's go" Violet exclaimed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, sorry it took me a little longer to post this chapter. I really struggled with it, I must have rewritten it at least three times. Anyways, please enjoy and feel free to tell me if you didn't. My feelings won't be hurt :)**

**A/N: Here's a special Thank You to everyone who continues to read this story. I really appreciate it! **

Chapter Ten

Naomi walked into the conference room after Violet and stopped dead in her tracks. They knew. Their stiff posture was a dead giveaway; and their conversation was much too polite, nothing like the usual talking over each other chatter. "How the hell did you overhear our conversation" she asked, more curious than angry.

Everyone glanced in Pete's direction. "Oh thanks guys" Pete said, turning to his wife. "Look, I don't know how Violet but your phone accidentally called me; and when we saw Naomi walk into your office, we couldn't resist".

"Pete! How could you..." Violet started before Naomi cut her off.

"No, don't worry about it Violet. I'm glad they know; it keeps me from having to tell my story again" Naomi said. Turning her attention back to everyone else, her friends and colleagues, she continued "I'm sorry if you ever felt I was keeping things from you. For some reason, I was convinced that I should handle things by myself. I didn't want to lay my burdens on you guys. I also hope you don't hold anything against me now after discovering what I've been through, how I handled it, and how I felt about certain situations".

"We understand Naomi. I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say I wish you would have come to us sooner. You didn't have to suffer by yourself for so long" Sheldon said, the other doctors nodding their agreement.

Naomi smiled sincerely. "To be honest, I hadn't come to terms with a lot of these feelings before I left for Africa. I was trying so hard to be normal; I didn't take time to interpret my feelings. Spending time away from here, with Jordan, is what helped me delve deep and face memories that were previously too painful to think about, let alone understand. It would have been harder and taken longer to do it with you guys because you know me so well and have known me for so long; you know and are a part of my history".

"Well, at least promise us in the future you won't be afraid to confide in us" Pete said. Looking around the table, he added "That goes for everyone. Not only are we friends and coworkers, we're family. I know we're all doctors with God complexes but if we can manage to practice co-op medicine to help our patients, we should be able to help each other through difficult times. Even if we just share with one person, we can't keep our emotions to ourselves. It does more harm than good".

"That was very well said Pete" Violet said, her anger ebbing.

"Agreed" said Cooper. "Secrets have come back to bite all of us in the ass. I think we can do with more honesty around here".

"In other words, Cooper cares too much to see someone hurting" Charlotte said, interpreting her fiancé's words. "You guys know I'm not the touchy feeling type but I'm not heartless either". Charlotte took a deep breath and looked Naomi in the eye. "Naomi, I know we haven't talked about it since you've gotten back, but I've read and reread that email you sent me after I was raped. It's gotten me through many hard days. And I appreciate you giving me space and waiting for me to approach you; you don't know how much that means to me. I know I'm not the easiest to talk to, but if there's anything I can ever do for you...I'm here". Tears were falling down her face, but instead of wiping them away, Charlotte held her head up proudly. She was a survivor, not a victim.

Naomi let her tears flow freely too. "Stand up Charlotte King" she demanded.

"What" Charlotte asked confused.

"Stand up" Naomi said again. Looking uneasy, the petite blonde stood up. Naomi walked slowly over to her and embraced her in a tight hug. "Thank you".

Charlotte hugged her back just as fiercely. "No Naomi. Thank you".

Amelia kept wiping her face only for fresh tears to appear. "Can we get this show on the road? I have afternoon patients and I only have so much water proof mascara on hand".

"And I'm completely out" Addison added. "But we needed to have this conversation. Hopefully laying everything on the table will help us in the future" she said honestly. Addison meant every word, and not only where she and Naomi were concerned. The practice, these people were her family.

Violet sniffled, choked up by her emotions as well. They had to get back to business, but this little breakdown had been beneficial. "Shall we get on with it then" she asked rhetorically, as everyone gathered themselves and transitioned back into work mode.

...

Everyone seemed to fall apart in the conference room earlier today, including Charlotte King; that was a shocker. Sam's pain and guilt had turned to rage; whether it was rage at himself, Naomi, or the situation he didn't know. But he couldn't go home until he got some things off his chest. He had to talk to Naomi; he had to say some things he couldn't say in that conference room. It was after hours but Sam knew his ex-wife. Taking those unexpected days off would compel her to stay late and play catch-up. Trotting down the stairs to the fourth floor, Sam strolled down the hallway and burst into Naomi's office. She was sitting at her desk reviewing patients' files. "We need to talk" he said abruptly.

"Good evening to you too" Naomi said looking up, unsurprised. She saw this coming a mile away. There was no way Sam could overhear her pour out her soul to Violet and not eventually confront her. He was too much a part of her story and he would feel the need to defend himself, whether it was warranted or not. "Haven't you ever heard the concept of a knock" she asked exasperated.

"Yes, but I've also heard of the concept of avoidance and I didn't want to give you the opportunity to use it" Sam said.

"I wouldn't have avoided your knock" Naomi said, leaning back in her chair. "I'm all about facing things head on these days. Besides, I can only imagine you have plenty to say after my impromptu confessional earlier today".

"That's right" he confirmed. But what did he have to say? Sam paced back and forth in front of her desk, trying to get his thoughts together. How could he possibly make her understand? "Some of the things you said..."

"Yes" Naomi urged.

Sam stopped walking and just looked at her. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt"?

"There was a time when I didn't have to tell you anything; you automatically knew" Naomi hedged.

"Why didn't you tell me" Sam repeated.

She sighed. "Because as I explained earlier, I was too busy ignoring my emotions. How could I explain what I didn't know? Besides, what difference would it have made? You were determined to leave Sam" Naomi answered.

"I don't know. Maybe I would have..."

"Would have what? Stayed? It would have been out of guilt, not love. That would have been a worse fate" Naomi said.

Sam tried a different angle. "I guess I just thought that even through our ups and downs, you never doubted my love for you. I thought you knew I still cared about you, loved you not only as the mother of my child, but as my closest friend. No one knows me better than you and vice versa. I thought that even though we weren't in love anymore, the genuine love I had for you was still apparent".

"Correction. I was still very much in love with you. And deep down I did know you loved me; I was just too heartbroken to acknowledge it at the time. What you overheard me telling Violet were my initial reactions. I didn't continuously feel that way; most times I really was okay. It was only when another trauma would strike that I would sink so low. Pain has a way of making you feel and see things worse than they really are. I knew you still cared, just not as much as I did" Naomi responded.

"Yeah, until you flipped the script on me" Sam laughed wryly.

"Excuse me" Naomi asked.

"Naomi, I don't think you realize the power you have over people. I was so ready to explore the world, see what was out there and you sucked me right back in. I fell back in love with you but you were too busy having a life to notice. And when I finally admitted my feelings, you left the practice".

"Oh please. You give me too much credit. If I had the hypnotic powers you claim, you would have never left. I think you were just scared; I was a safety net, something familiar to cling to" Naomi said, disregarding Sam's sentiments. Quickly, she glanced at the clock on her desk. Jordan would be there soon to pick her up; he called a couple of hours ago and asked her to accompany him to a business dinner. She needed to change clothes. Rising from her chair, she headed to the far corner of her office to retrieve one of the spare dresses she kept in her closet.

Sam sidestepped and blocked her path. "You're no one's safety net Naomi. You're a dream come true. And I truly wanted my dream back".

Naomi's breath hitched. "Then why didn't you fight harder. You had to know that just telling me you loved me wasn't going to cut it. After everything that happened, I needed proof".

"You are right about one thing. I was scared; scared of messing up again. When all your dreams come true, you start to wonder what there is to look forward to. That's why I left in the first place; I was literally scared of having it all. I didn't want to hurt you again so I let you go". Sam looked into Naomi's eyes, trying to gauge her reaction.

Naomi's eyes were glassy, but no tears fell. "And now you have a new dream" she reminded Sam.

Sam looked down, sighed. Addison wasn't a dream, she was more like a fantasy; something you imagine for so long only to discover the real thing doesn't live up to you imagination. That's not to say that what Sam shared with Addison wasn't great, it just wasn't what he expected. Naomi had been everything he expected and more at one point in his life. Tucking his hands in his pockets, he looked back up at her. "If I never expressed myself properly before, I want you to know how truly sorry I am Naomi; for how I ended our marriage, for being so careless with you feelings, for making you feel unlovable and worthless, for taking a piece of you, for Addison and I causing you more pain. That was never my intention. I know there's no way I can ever make it up to you, but I hope one day you will forgive me. I want my close friend back".

"Thank you Sam. I know you're sorry but it still feels good to hear you say it. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and part of my pain is my own fault. I should have never stopped loving myself, and now that I'm learning to do that again, it's made a world of difference. And as for being close friends again...we'll get there...eventually; we're already halfway there. This conversation would have been impossible before I left for Africa". Naomi smiled sadly. In some ways, knowing Sam had still loved her but was too scared to act on it made her pain worse. Things could have been so different. But she appreciated his honesty; and it did give her a small dose of relief. His leaving really wasn't her fault; she was worthy and loved. She closed her eyes briefly to clear her head; this conversation was getting a little too heavy; she wanted to be in a better mood when Jordan arrived. Walking around him towards her closet, she added "I hate to cut this conversation short but Jordan should be here soon and I need to change. Can we pick this up tomorrow"?

Sam ignored her suggestion; he wasn't going to let her brush him off so easily. He knew the conversation was probably getting to her, but he didn't want to leave without getting everything off his chest. Following her with his eyes, he said "I have one more thing to say".

"What is it" Naomi asked, digging in her closet for her little black dress

"I'm sorry about the baby. I know how much human life means to you. And if Fife couldn't get over his own ego to see you were trying to do the right thing concerning William, it's his loss. Trust me, I know". Fife and the baby had been a part of Naomi's story Sam hadn't seen coming in a million years. He hated to think of his wife involved sexually with other men, but to know another man had implanted his seed into her body, had produced a life with her, and to know she fell in love with an arrogant asshole really ate at Sam. He refused to fully process the information just to keep his sanity. He would just concentrate on Naomi and what she must have gone through.

Naomi stopped rummaging through her closet and stared at Sam. Her eyes were filling with water and spilling over. "Thank...thank you Sam". She couldn't say any more for fear of completely losing it. But she was sure Sam was aware of what she meant and felt in those two words. Their telepathic communication wasn't completely broken.

Sam walked over to her. He gently touched Naomi's face and wiped her tears. He wanted to embrace her and hug but knew better than to push limits. "Don't cry Naomi. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just wanted to give you my condolences".

"I know. Thank you" Naomi whispered.

"Come on, cheer up" he encouraged. "You said Jordan would be here soon, right? The way you talk, sex with him can cure anything. Try that" he joked, ignoring the clenching in his gut. This was about Naomi, not him.

Naomi laughed, automatically feeling lighter. "That's not a bad idea".

Sam smiled back reluctantly, dropping his hand from her face. "So, the sex, it's earth-shattering, huh" he asked.

Naomi wiped the remaining wetness from her eyes and looked up curiously at Sam. "Don't tell me your ego is bruised'.

Sam's chest puffed up a little as he turned defensive. "No, it's not bruised. I am curious though. If he's earth-shattering, what was I, where do I rank"?

Naomi folded her arms across her chest. "Where do I" she asked, turning the question back on Sam.

"First place; no one comes remotely close" Sam answered honestly, speaking before thinking. "Now answer me, where do I rank".

Before she could answer, Jordan walked through her office door, saving her. He was dressed in a sleek well-tailored business suit. Looking between the two of them, Jordan vaguely wondered what was going on. Glancing at his wrist, he checked the time on his watch. "I'm sorry Naomi; I thought we agreed on seven o'clock".

Straightening her posture, hoping the flush in her cheeks and her racing heartbeat weren't obvious, Naomi answered "We did. Sam and I were just having a discussion and I lost track of time. I'm so sorry I'm running late. Just give me five minutes and I'll be ready".

"No problem, take your time" Jordan reassured. "So you're the ex-husband" he inquired, turning his attention towards Sam.

"Yes" Naomi answered for Sam, before making introductions.

"It's good to meet you" Jordan said, extending his hand.

"Likewise" Sam said, though his tone and his body language seemed to suggest the opposite. Extending his hand, he gave Jordan a strong handshake, testing his strength. "Well, I won't hold you guys up any longer. Have a nice evening" he said abruptly, strolling out of the office before getting a response. Suddenly, he was regretting suggesting Naomi have sex with Jordan to cheer up; though she probably would anyway with or without his suggestion. What did she see in him and his dumb British accent anyway Sam wondered as he left the office.

Naomi and Jordan watched him go. "That must have been one hell of a conversation" Jordan concluded.

"Yeah, it was" Naomi said, feeling a little dazed. Refocusing her thoughts away from Sam, she turned back to Jordan. "Right, okay. Just give me five minutes" she repeated, rushing to grab her dress.


	11. Chapter 11

**Was really sleepy when I edited this, so if there are more typos than usual, I apologize in advance. :)**

Chapter Eleven

"Good morning" Naomi said, walking into the conference room for their morning meeting. Addison, Amelia, Violet, and Charlotte were already seated at the table. "Where are the men" she asked.

"That's what I'd like to know. I need sex" Amelia exclaimed, frustrated. "I'm tired of coming to work every day and seeing you bitches with goofy morning sex faces. I want morning sex too" she cried.

"Amelia, I'm fairly sure she was asking about the men who work with us" Charlotte said, amusement written across her face.

"Oh, I knew that" Amelia said. "I just needed to voice my frustrations".

Rolling her eyes, Charlotte continued. "And to answer your question Naomi, the coffee machine was acting retarded this morning so they went down the block to Starbucks. That's the official story. What I really think they're doing is trying to plan a trip to the strip club behind our backs".

"What makes you think that" Violet asked.

"I overheard Cooper on the phone with Pete this morning. As soon as I walked into the kitchen he hung up the phone with a guilty look on his face. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. I don't care if they go or not, I just wish they wouldn't lie about it" Charlotte said.

"So, you have no problem with Cooper objectifying women, staring at their naked bodies, letting them rub their disease infested private parts all over them" Violet accused.

"Calm down Violet" Naomi laughed. "They just want to have a good time. Those women chose to be strippers, no one forced them, so they're objectifying themselves; and it's looking, no touching. You can't blame people for enjoying it. You should try going before you judge; Jordan and I had a great time when we went".

"You and Jordan went to a strip club" Addison blurted, grateful she didn't have any coffee to spit out.

"Yep, I even paid for his lap dance. And he paid for mine" Naomi smiled mischievously.

"Did I ever tell you you're my hero" Amelia said.

"Who are you? You would have never even entertained the idea when you were married to Sam" Violet asked, surprised.

"Well, I'm not married to him anymore. Am I" Naomi pointed out.

"No but..." Violet started.

"Oh come on Violet" Charlotte interrupted. "Don't go psychoanalyzing Naomi because she decided to loosen up. The old Naomi was great but there's nothing wrong with the new one; she's a blast. Instead of arguing over the merits of strips clubs, we should decide on what trouble we want to get into ourselves".

"Exactly" Addison said. "I don't know about the trouble part, but I was hoping we could have a girl's night in next Saturday. Nothing fancy, just some good wine, good food, and good conversation. I want all of you to come; it's been a while since we all got together" she said looking around the table. "What do you think"?

"I'm sorry Addison, I can't" Naomi said, truly disappointed. The emotions surprised her; she had slowly begun to miss her friendship with Addison. The good memories were finally starting to resurface as her pain lessened. Things were still awkward between them but Naomi found it less difficult to be around her. Naomi wasn't sure she could trust or confide in Addison again, but spending time together sounded enjoyable.

"Oh" Addison said, even more disappointed. "Look, I realized we're not...but I just thought..." she rambled on incoherently.

"I'm not making excuses" Naomi explained, easing Addison's concerns. "There's an HIV/AIDS fundraiser dinner Jordan and I are attending next weekend. The organization is trying to raise as much money as possible to fund more research. As a matter of fact, I was going to invite everyone during the morning meeting. I really hope you can all come" she said, looking around the table. Everyone smiled and nodded, agreeing to check their schedules; tension clung to the air in the conference room. No one was quite sure if Naomi was telling the truth, yet they were hesitant to call her out given the circumstances. Naomi took a deep breath. "I know its last minute, but maybe we could have that girls night in this Saturday instead" she suggested. "We can even have it at my house if it's too much trouble for you to arrange things on such short notice".

"Ye..yeah. That's great! And it's not too much trouble, we can still have it at my house" Addison said, surprised and happy. What does everyone think" she asked.

"Sounds good to me" Charlotte said.

"Agreed" Violet said, breathing a small breath of relief. If Addison and Naomi could mend their relationship, it would make for a much healthier environment at the practice.

"I'm in" said Amelia. "Maybe Naomi will stop being stingy and finally give up the goods on Jordan. He's been in town for almost a month and we've yet to be invited to a lunch or dinner to get to know him. And it seems like she can't wait to get out of here every day just to be with him" Amelia chastised.

"They're too busy jumping each other's bones to have company" Charlotte said.

"You mean when they're not busy being strip club patrons" Violet added.

"Hello" Naomi yelled, getting their attention. "This whole talking about me like I'm not in the room is getting old' she complained, trying her hardest to look upset.

"This whole keeping Jordan to yourself is getting old" Amelia countered. "Spill woman"!

Laughing, Addison looked up at the same time the elevator doors opened. The men stepped off carrying coffee headed straight for the conference room. "Ladies, let's pick up later" she said, nodding her head in their direction. "Besides, we can all gang up on Naomi this Saturday and if she still refuses to give up details, we can grill him ourselves at this fundraiser she's invited us to" Addison plotted.

"I hate you, all of you" Naomi said unconvincingly.

"We love you too" Addison, Violet, Charlotte, and Amelia sang in unison as the men entered the room.

...

"So, you two are shacking up" Charlotte deduced, referring to Naomi. They were all sitting around Addison's living room munching on snacks and drinking red wine. After a little prodding and poking, Naomi was finally starting to talk about Jordan.

"No, we are not shacking up, are we" Naomi said, talking in a baby voice as she bounced Olivia up and down on her knee. Since it was a laid back evening, she decided to give Maya and Dink the night off and watch the baby. Looking into the beautiful eyes of her grandchild, a small ache formed in her side when she thought about the abortion she'd tried to force on Maya. She could no longer imagine a world where Olivia didn't exist and was grateful she didn't have to. Turning her attention back to her friends, she continued. "He's just staying at my place while he's in town. It doesn't make sense for him to stay at a hotel; especially when he doesn't know how long he's going to be here and he has a friend who lives in the area".

"Is he sleeping in your bed every night" Violet asked.

Rolling her eyes, Naomi hesitantly answered "yes" knowing what was coming next.

"Hate to break it to you honey, but that's the very definition of shacking up" Amelia said, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

Addison, sitting in the corner of the couch with her legs folded under her, took a sip of her wine. "Are you sure there's nothing more than friendship between you two" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure" Naomi answered a little too quickly. A month ago, she would have been sure of her answer; she was still fairly certain but now fuzzy clouds of confusion lurked around the edges of her mind. Ironically, it had nothing to do with Jordan and everything to do with Sam. In the last few weeks, she hadn't necessarily avoided Sam, but she hadn't made seeing him a priority either. Ever since he asked her who was better in bed, a question she still hadn't answered, she found herself comparing everything Jordan did to her ex-husband; not in a negative way, just out of curiosity. Would Sam ever not find a way to complicate her life? She and Jordan's relationship was perfect just the way it was; she didn't need outside influences putting unwanted or unneeded thoughts in her head. The only solace she found in her mental confusion was that she could be open and honest about her feelings with Jordan; he'd told her to compare away, that it would help her decide what she did or didn't want in a man in the future. That had been the end of the conversation; after he made sure to mention that he already knew he was the better man in bed of course; men. She didn't confirm or deny. Jordan was so cocky when it came to certain things….just like Sam. 'Ugh, I'm doing it again' she mentally berated herself. She went back to bouncing Olivia on her knee and playing peekaboo to suppress her internal struggles.

"You don't look so sure" Violet observed. "It's perfectly natural to be a little gun shy after your past relationships. Is it possible you're scared to acknowledge your relationship with Jordan is more than friendship because you think it will be a death sentence? You can't compare Jordan to the men that came before him; it's not fair to him or you. Every person is different and comes with different baggage. You can't assume you and Jordan won't work out because the previous ones didn't".

"Violet" Naomi sighed in exasperation. "You make very valid points but that's not the case. I don't know how to explain it any better than I already have; I feel like a broken record. We are just friends. Do I love him? Yes. Could I possibly fall in love with him? Of course. But am I in love with him now? No. I wouldn't call our love platonic, sex negates that but it isn't romantic either. Why are you guys so insistent on us being more than friends" she asked.

"We just want you to be happy" Addison said.

Naomi smiled warmly. "I am happy. The happiest I've been in a long time". She pulled Olivia, who was getting sleepy, to her chest and rocked her back in forth, breathing in her baby scent.

"Hell, I say don't fix something unless it's broken. Regardless of what we think, whatever Jordan and Naomi have going seems to work for them. Who are we to put labels on it for them" Charlotte said.

"Exactly. Thank you" Naomi said.

"No problem. Now can we have some real fun? The boys are next door playing poker; surely we can find something way more entertaining to do" Charlotte said.

"I guarantee we can" Amelia said. "They're not having near as much fun as they would lead you to believe. I went over there a little earlier and they were talking about babies of all things. I felt like there were more vaginas over there than here".

Addison automatically tensed up; her gut told her this conversation was about to go in the wrong direction. Having a baby had been a source, the only source, of contention in her and Sam's relationship. Addison had backed off, giving Sam time to think; but after a particular case that had personally affected her, the subject was back on the table. Sam had had weeks to mull over the situation, she wanted an answer now. Yet, she didn't want the dilemma to be discussed in front of Naomi who was finally starting to come around. But Amelia had no filter, so Addison just braced herself.

"Babies" Charlotte asked.

"Yeah, they're trying to help Sam decide on whether or not he wants more kids. We all know Addison wants them but apparently Sam is dragging his feet" she said.

"Amelia, did you really just say that" Violet asked shaking her head.

"What" Amelia asked, clueless.

"Naomi, I was going to talk to you…" Addison started before letting the sentence trail off unfinished. What could she say? Nothing would make it an easier pill to swallow for her.

Naomi felt her insides twist a little but she willed herself to keep her composure; she supposed she should have seen it coming. Addison had always wanted children. Naomi just never guessed it would be with her ex-husband, that if Addison had a child, their children would be siblings. It also made Addison and Sam's relationship that more real. It felt real before, but in the back of Naomi's mind, she assumed they wouldn't last. Addison had a real knack for screwing up relationships when things got difficult; but having a child together….that meant they were in it for the long haul; a haul she and Sam had failed to pull off. "Amelia is right. The men have guaranteed we will have the better night. What did you have in mind Charlotte" Naomi commented, ignoring the baby subject all together. 'Potentially having two babies by former best friends; that's one thing I won't be able to compare Jordan and Sam on' she thought.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Naomi's eyes popped open when she heard the soft knock on her office door. The day was only half over and she was exhausted; Jordan had once again kept her up until the break of dawn. Their appetite for each other was insatiable. When she was involved with someone, Naomi always had a high sex drive; but whatever body chemicals made her and Jordan physically attracted to each other were stuck in overdrive. She wasn't complaining, but her body was. The numerous sleepless nights were finally catching up to her; which is how she wound up laying down on the couch wondering who was knocking on the door. "Come in" she said drowsily.

Charlotte sauntered in, looked at Naomi splayed out on the couch, and plopped down in a chair. "Hey lady. I came to ask if you wanted to try that new restaurant down the street for lunch, but apparently you have other plans. Jordan keep you up late last night"?

Naomi smiled lazily. Since her return from Africa, she and Charlotte had become really great friends, especially over the last month. It had been unexpected but a wonderful development. Over the years, with Charlotte dating Cooper and joining the practice, they'd become good colleagues but never friends. However, trials and tribulations had a way of bringing unexpected people together. Having been through different but equally difficult ordeals at the same time, Charlotte and Naomi shared a connection exclusively between them. And through their connection, they'd really gotten to know each other. Naomi discovered just how soft, warm, and caring Charlotte was under her tough exterior. She was bluntly honest to a fault and not one to mince words but Naomi found it refreshing. Charlotte would always let you know where you stood and if you were messing up. Most people who had a problem with her truths couldn't handle honesty. On the other hand, Charlotte had finally let down a portion of her many barriers and let Naomi be the kind, caring, and considerate person she was to everyone, to her. She was surprised to learn that it was okay to let people, other than Cooper, care about her. Also, she found it so great that Naomi didn't push; she let you come to her instead of forcing you to open up on her time schedule. She was also honest and told you what you needed to hear but she had a knack for doing it in a tactful manner. All in all, they just clicked.

Repositioning the pillow under her head, Naomi looked up at Charlotte. "He kept me up until five am. I don't remember the last time I got more than three hours of sleep. It was the same way in Tahiti, but at least I got to sleep during the day. Here, I just catch cat naps whenever I can".

Charlotte smiled slyly. "Why don't you say no, take a night off" she suggested.

Naomi shook her head. "Because I can't. When I see him, my legs fall open" she laughed. "I don't know if it's his cologne or natural body scent, but I feel like a girl in one of those AXE commercials. I just have to have him".

Laughing, Charlotte responded. "It's a great problem to have. Cooper and I were the same way in the beginning. Hell, we still would be if we knew how to keep going without sleep".

"How did you finally get it under control" Naomi asked. Internally, she winced at being compared to Charlotte and Cooper. There was no way she and Jordan were heading down the same or even remotely similar path as them. But knowing Charlotte didn't mean anything by it, she let it go.

"I didn't. Sleep deprivation caught up with us, just like it's starting to with you" Charlotte said. She noticed Naomi's subtle reaction but didn't comment. Naomi knew her well enough to know she wasn't making any suggestive comments. Charlotte was too direct to play games.

"Great" Naomi sighed, closing her eyes again.

"Well, today looks like a bust. How about we try the new place tomorrow" Charlotte proposed.

Naomi was sorely tempted to agree but after brief consideration, she changed her mind. "No. Let's go today. As tired as I am, I might not get back up if I continue to lay here". Sitting up, she yawned and stretched before slipping back into her shoes, standing up and grabbing her purse and sunglasses. "Let's get this show on the road before I pass out".

Smiling, Charlotte rose from her chair. "Great. I'll run upstairs and grab my purse".

"I'll go with you. I don't trust myself to stay conscious if I'm left alone" Naomi said, yawning again. They rode the elevator up to the fifth floor. Immediately, Charlotte strolled toward her office while Naomi waited at the receptionist desk. "Hey Naomi" a tentative voice said behind her. Naomi turned to see Addison standing there. "Hello Addison" she said indifferently. They hadn't talked much since girl's night; Naomi didn't have much to say. She wasn't ignoring Addison but the baby news was definitely a setback in mending their broken friendship.

Addison couldn't get a good read on Naomi's mood. Ever since Amelia let the cat out of the back, her face had been impossible to read. She didn't seem upset or angry, but she wasn't happy or accepting either. She wasn't avoiding her but Naomi seemed conveniently busy lately. She wasn't acting mean but she wasn't acting nice either. Her attitude and body language seemed completely neutral. Regardless, Addison still felt the need to explain. "I was wondering if we could talk whenever it was convenient for you" Addison finally said.

Naomi took a deep breath. "Honestly Addison, I don't want to talk. There's not anything you can say to me that I don't already know or that will make this situation better. You knew this would bother me just like you knew your relationship would bother me. But since I'm working on letting things go, especially things I can't control, I'm not going to dwell on this. I don't think if I'll ever be okay with any of this, but I can learn to deal with it. I just need time. There's nothing you can say; the only solution for our predicament is time. Please understand".

"I understand and I'll respect your wishes" Addison said, talking over the lump in her throat. Would the cracks in their friendship ever stop growing wider? "Would you prefer if Sam and I didn't attend the benefit this weekend" she asked.

"Thank you" Naomi acknowledged. "And no. The seating arrangements have already been made and they need any donations they can get. It's such a good cause" she explained. After a moment she added, "I'm not trying to punish you Addison; this is our new reality. We all make decisions and have to live with the consequences. I'm not acting this way to be spiteful and vindictive; I'm coping the best way I can and I'm doing a respectable job if I say so myself".

Addison nodded, overcome with emotion. She could see Naomi really was trying and she felt guilty for wanting more. Patience was not her strong suit. "I know and you are" she admitted.

"Are you ready to go" Charlotte asked, coming up behind Naomi with Violet in tow.

"I hope you don't mind but I invited myself to your lunch date. I've been dying to try this place" Violet said.

Addison looked briefly at the ladies before returning her attention back to Naomi. "Well, I guess I'll see you this weekend" she said, forcing a smile before she walked away.

Naomi watched briefly then turned towards Violet. "No, I don't mind. Let's go before I fall asleep".

...

"That was awkward" Violet commented as they were seated at a table.

"What was" Naomi asked, glancing over a menu.

"You and Addison at the receptionist desk" Violet answered.

Naomi shrugged her shoulders. "Things have been so strained between us for so long; I don't even notice it anymore. There's always tension so it didn't feel any different from any conversation I've had with her in the last two months".

"If you don't mind me asking, how are you dealing with the whole baby thing? You haven't really reacted, you seem so indifferent. If I was in your shoes, I'd be pissed off and raising hell" Charlotte said, reaching for her glass of water.

"Indifference is the goal" Naomi said. "I'm extremely bothered by my former best friend and ex-husband having a child together but there's nothing I can do about it. I couldn't prevent them from being together and I damn sure can't stop them from reproducing. As much as I want to scream, yell, and be angry at the world, it doesn't hurt anyone or affect anyone but me. I refuse to give them any more power over my emotions. At the same time, no matter how evolved I become, I will never accept anything about the situation as okay. I don't care if there was no bad intent, it feels wrong. That leaves me with indifference, I choose not to care".

"That's a mature stance to take but it raises a question. Why are you trying to so hard to be civil with Addison and Sam when you know you will never accept them as a couple" Violet inquired.

"For the previous statements I just made. It takes too much energy to be angry and it only hurts me in the long run. Deep down I know they care, that they never meant to hurt me. And though I wish I could erase it sometimes, my feelings for them didn't disappear overnight because of their betrayal. Much to my chagrin, I still care about them. I have to accept that. But I don't have to accept them as a couple, nor do they need my approval. I can however, try to forgive, learn to deal with it, and get used to it. And I can only do that by confronting it, not avoiding it. I'll never heal if I avoid them. My choosing to maintain any semblance of a relationship with them is more for my benefit than theirs. It's way more selfish than it appears".

"I'd so be that bitter old lady with the cats who never left her house. I'd be so busy wishing and praying they had miserable lives together, I wouldn't realize I was the one with the miserable life until I stroked out and realized I had no one to turn to because I'd closed myself off from the world. They probably wouldn't even find my dead body until the next door neighbors called the police to complain about the smell" Charlotte said.

Violet and Naomi looked up from their menus and peered at Charlotte. "That has to be the darkest and most disturbing thing I've ever heard" Naomi said.

Charlotte smiled wryly. "I'm not good at forgiving people. The bigger the transgression, the more unlikely I am to forgive. It's just not in my given nature and honestly, I don't know if I want to change that".

"I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I know it's good to forgive, I preach it to my patients all day long. Like Naomi said, it's harder to heal when you hold onto things. But I'm just so damn stubborn. I get caught up on the principle of the matter, obsess about how something shouldn't have happened in the first place instead of deciding how to cope now that it has happened" Violet confessed.

A waiter appeared to take their orders. After he left the table, Naomi looked at her friends. "I never asked before because I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position, but now I'm curious. How do you feel about Sam and Addison as a couple? And do you agree with how I reacted? Please be brutally honest".

Violet twitched in her seat. She was wondering when Naomi would get around to asking those two daunting questions. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Naomi had a feeling she wasn't going to like what Violet had to say. But she had asked for honesty. "Would you stop opening and closing your mouth like a fish and just answer me. I promise I won't get upset" Naomi reassured, placing her hand on Violet's for comfort.

"You know I love Sam, he's like a brother to me. When you and Sam started the Wellness center, I thought you two were the perfect couple. I was devastated when the divorce happened. I thought I would never get over Sam leaving you, stealing your job and I was pissed off when you considered giving him a second chance, despite everything he put you through. But just like with real siblings, you can't stay mad, you eventually get over it and I did. Sam is a good guy, he doesn't always make the best decisions, but his heart is usually in the right place. Addison, I still can't say I know her that well. She's a brilliant surgeon but as I person, I don't know what to make of her. I have to assume she's a good person since you and Sam have been friends with her for so long. I do know that she took care of my son when I couldn't and that not only did she let Pete go, but helped him realize he belonged with me. Two people that good and caring deserve to be happy and they seem to make each other happy" Violet admitted guiltily. "I understand why you're hurt and if I were in your position, I'd probably react the same way, if not worse; but when I got over the initial shock, I honestly thought that they did nothing wrong. You and Sam had been over for over a year. I know it's not ideal for two people you care about and share a history with to start dating, but I think they're justified in doing it. On the other hand, you're justified in feeling the way you feel" Violet finished, dropping eye contact with Naomi.

"There's no need for you to placate me and my feelings" Naomi said. "I asked for honesty and you gave it to me. I didn't like what you had to say but I appreciate you telling me the truth". The waiter arrived with their plates, giving Naomi the perfect excuse to let go of Violet's hand. She wasn't upset but she felt a little hurt. She would have thought Violet would be a little more understanding; Naomi was also positive that Violet would have reacted twice as bad if put in the same shoes. Regardless, Violet was her friend and she loved her despite their differing opinions.

Charlotte had been very quiet during Violet's speech. But as she replayed the words in her head, her anger rose. Naomi noticed. "Charlotte, what's wrong"?

Waiting until Violet made eye contact with her, Charlotte began to rant. "You are so full of shit. Sam and Addison have no business being together. It's not right, it's all wrong like Naomi said. Their relationship should not exist; let alone a discussion about offspring between them".

Naomi felt a swell of warmth course through her veins at Charlotte's words. Somebody agreed with her. Why hadn't they become friends sooner? She was about to say as much but Violet jumped in.

"You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine" Violet said defensively.

"True, I'd just thought you'd be a little more understanding" Charlotte said.

"Understanding about what"?

"You said so yourself. Sam left her; there was no mutual break up. And their brief reconciliation was nothing more than a month long booty call; Sam never gave Naomi any sign he was serious. How would you feel if your husband not only left you but began dating a friend you've both known forever? Wouldn't you start to worry your whole marriage was based on a lie"?

"Like I said, I can sympathize and understand how Naomi feels, but her hurt feelings don't make it wrong for Sam and Addison to date. Addison is a good woman and Sam is good guy. They deserve happiness just like the rest of us".

Charlotte shook her head in disagreement. "Yeah, they should be happy; just with other people. Sam's a good guy, I'll give him that. He's not out there chasing everything that moves but he's still a man who makes boneheaded decisions; like getting a divorce for no reason or revisiting old silly fantasies from med school because his ex-wife was smart enough not to take him back without him proving how committed he was. I have nothing against Addison, but growing up in that twisted family of hers, she never learned about loyalty. She tries but when she does mess up, she wants people to just forgive, forget, and move on; as if people don't have the right to be upset because she didn't mean any harm. I don't think she fully takes responsibility for her actions; she can never see the big picture, see past how the situation affects her. All Addison could see was how lonely she was and how interested Sam appeared to be; she didn't wonder if Sam was looking for an outlet to forget about his ex-wife or that had he not suffered a midlife crisis, he'd still be married to her best friend. I'm sure she fought him off temporarily for Naomi's benefit, but I think deep down she knew she would eventually cave. But where I think she truly messed up is even putting herself in that position. Addison might have fought him off, but she never truly shut Sam down. Men don't dwell like women do; they only keep sniffing around if they know they stand a chance. If Addison had stood her ground in the beginning, Sam would have kept it moving without a second glance".

"So you're saying everything is Addison's fault" Violet asked skeptically.

"No, Sam was wrong for creating all this drama, but I do think it was her responsibility to prevent things from escalating. I know us women hate double standards but let's face it; men can be simple creatures. They frequently let their penises think for them. Emotional repercussions don't even occur to them until the last minute. I have no idea why Sam's penis chose to pursue Addison but if I had to guess, I would say convenience. They live next door to each other, they've known each other for two decades so they were able to skip over that getting to know each other phase. I think it also gave him a chance to play what if, imagine how things would be if he'd asked Addison out instead of Naomi when they were in med school. It was just easy. I'm not putting down Addison, I'm not saying she's not a catch, but if she lived clear across town, I'd don't think we'd be having this conversation today" Charlotte explained.

Violet rolled her eyes. "That's ridiculous. It still sounds like you mostly blame Addison and that Sam gets a free pass because he has the right parts. Addison would have never had to try to fight him off had he not initiated the whole thing. And a relationship of convenience is just a cop out. Have you seen the way those two look at each other? They're head over heels in love".

"I'm sure they love each other. They've been friends for twenty years, how can they not love each other? I just think their love has been misplaced, distorted into thinking they're in love. And I'm not trying to give Sam a free pass. However, I will admit that maybe I'm giving him more slack than Addison because he's willing to take responsibility for his actions. He knows he's hurt Naomi and hasn't tried to push her into forgiving him. He's willing to accept the consequences even if he wishes for more from Naomi. Addison, on the other hand, is so idealistic and truly believes that Naomi will come around; like it's just a phase Naomi is going through. Maybe Naomi will get over it, but for Addison to assume instead of concentrating on why there is a rift in their friendship is a problem. That's why things will probably get worse before they get better between her and Naomi. I can almost guarantee Naomi and Sam will get back on friendlier terms much sooner than she and Addison".

"Oh please. Leave the shrinking to me Charlotte. Their love is not distorted, it's real and they have nothing to apologize for" Violet said, officially annoyed at the conversation.

Charlotte was passed annoyed. "Even if what you say is true, about real love and no apologies, I know at the very least they feel guilty for hurting Naomi. Guilt will eat away at them and their relationship. If the baby thing doesn't ruin them first, the guilt will. And then we'll see who was right" she shot back.

"Okay ladies" Naomi finally interrupted. "How about we just drop this subject all together? Clearly you don't see eye to eye and that's fine but we don't have to keep going in circles about it. I appreciate both of your opinions but let's get back to having a civilized discussion". Inside, Naomi felt a flurry of emotions. Violet's position continued to shock and amaze her; Naomi reasoned that Violet was just trying to be diplomatic and neutral but she couldn't help but feel like they were on opposite sides. This was the same person who was currently not speaking to Sheldon because he had the nerve to date a book critic who gave her a bad review. Naomi loved Violet but outside of her professional job, her thought process could be mind boggling. Nevertheless, she was entitled to her own opinion and Naomi respected her honesty. Sighing, she looked over too Charlotte who was giving Violet a death stare. She was so grateful to Charlotte in so many ways. She had voiced so many of Naomi's thoughts; it had felt like Charlotte read her mind. She had also given her several more thoughts to ponder. Naomi's love for Charlotte increased tenfold over the course of their lunch. She squeezed Charlotte's hand under the table to show her gratitude. This woman would definitely be a friend for life. "How about we discuss the benefit coming up this weekend" Naomi suggested when no one spoke up. She was met with more silence.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry it took me so long to update. I've made this chapter nice and long to make up for it. Thanks again to all my readers who continue to follow this story :)**

Chapter Thirteen

The banquet hall at the downtown Four Seasons hotel was dimly lit with low lighting and candles that glowed at the center of every round table. With the combined beautiful flower arrangements and elegant table settings that sat upon crisp white tablecloths, the atmosphere of the charity dinner was soft and inviting; it would definitely make people want to open up their pockets. However, the nice surroundings could not erase the tension that enveloped one table. Charlotte, Cooper, Pete, Violet, Sheldon, Amelia, Addison, and Sam sat around the table in complete silence. Every few minutes, someone would make a comment but the apparent unease between Charlotte and Violet kept a conversation from being sustained.

Cooper was fed up with the entire ordeal. "This is getting old," he said, looking at the two culprits. "I don't know what happened the other day at that lunch, but you both need to build a bridge and get over it. If Naomi can walk away from whatever was discussed unaffected, surely you two can sort out your issues".

"I don't have a problem. I've already said everything I needed to; but if Violet needs to get more off her chest, she's more than welcome to" Charlotte said feistily.

"Where are Naomi and Jordan" Violet said, changing the subject. Charlotte was unreasonable, impossible to talk to. Violet wasn't about to get into another argument with her, especially in a public setting.

"Can you at least tell us what you're fighting about" Amelia asked, refusing to let the issue drop. Amelia's words were met with silence.

"Wow" Sheldon suddenly exclaimed as he looked towards the banquet hall entrance.

Everyone followed his gaze to see what got his attention. Coming through the doors was the most stunning couple; Naomi and Jordan. Though all the charity dinner attendees were dressed in well-tailored tuxedos and lovely evening gowns, those two put the rest of the guests to shame. Jordan's suit was immaculately made, so perfectly snug against his tall muscular frame. Instead of a bow tie, he elected to go with a long skinny black tie. With his trim goatee, he looked like a modern day black James Bond. Draped on his arm was Naomi; she had always been a beautiful woman, but in the dress she currently wore, she could stop traffic. Her gown was made of a figure hugging black lace material. The dress was cut into a deep V down the front that stopped a few inches above her navel, highlighting the smoothness of her chocolate skin and the shape of her full round breasts without actually revealing them. A high slit on in the dress exposed her enticing right leg up to her mid-thigh when she walked. Naomi was walking a fine line. Her gown had all the makings of being overly provocative and trashy, but somehow her confidence and carriage made her look glamorous and tasteful. She'd straightened her hair and it fell in long layers down her back and her makeup was done to perfection. She and Jordan definitely caught everyone's attention. Men had to pick their tongues off the floor and women were holding their dates a little tighter.

Sam bit the inside of his lip to keep from reacting but his heart didn't get the memo. He was afraid it would beat right out of his chest, exposing his sudden yearning and attraction to his ex-wife to everyone. Fidgeting in his seat, he tried to look away from Naomi but he was entirely captivated. He barely heard Addison admonish everyone at the table as Naomi and Jordan drew closer. "Okay guys, whatever problems we do or don't have need to be put on the back burner. This night is very important for Jordan, which it means it's important for Naomi. Let's act like the civilized grownups we're supposed to be". Sam barely noticed everyone nodding in agreement.

Reaching the table, Naomi greeted her colleagues. "Hello everyone. Thanks for coming" she said, smiling in gratitude. "Everyone, this is Dr. Jordan Adeyemi. Jordan, this is Dr. Amelia Shepherd..." Naomi started, introducing all of the doctors around the table.

"Hello" Jordan said in his thick British accent, smiling warmly. "It's great to finally meet all of you; Naomi has told me so much about you. And it's good to see you again Sam".

"You too" Sam said, inwardly panicking. No one knew he'd gone to Naomi's office and confronted her about her and Violet's conversation.

Naomi felt her stomach tighten. Was Jordan playing games or was he really that clueless? He had to know that statement would raise questions; questions that she did not want to answer. She gave him a 'what the hell are you thinking' look just as Addison spoke up.

"Again" she asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion. She looked between Jordan and Sam for clarification.

Amused, Jordan quickly gave an explanation. "Yes, a few weeks ago. I ran into him in the hall one evening when I came to the office to pick up Naomi. It was very brief" he answered as he let out a chair for Naomi to sit down, before he sat down next to her. Jordan silently evaluated the seating arrangements. He wondered if it was by accident or by design that Sam was sitting on Naomi's other side. The situation made him uncomfortable; not because of Naomi's intentions but because of Sam's. The man was clearly in self-denial about his feelings for his ex-wife; the conversation he'd had with Naomi a few weeks ago proved as much, a conversation he'd conveniently neglected to mention to his girlfriend.

"Really? Sam never mentioned it" Addison said, curiously.

Sam wrapped his arms around the back of Addison's chair and tried to look nonchalant. "Like he said, it was brief. It actually slipped my mind until Jordan just mentioned it" he lied. Their encounter was all he could think about. Jordan's interruption had given Naomi the perfect excuse to avoid answering his question and him for the past few weeks. Sam looked at Jordan and wondered what he was up to. Why would Jordan expose him and then cover his tracks for him two seconds later?

Pete felt the tension Sam was trying to hide emit from his body. There was something in that little exchange with Jordan that didn't smell right. And it was adding to the awkwardness Charlotte and Violet, who were still giving deadly glares to each other, had already created. Trying to change the subject and lighten the mood, Pete said "Naomi, you look amazing tonight. Absolutely stunning".

"Thank you Pete" Naomi said, smiling at the compliment but also in relief. Pete always knew when to step in. He might not know what was going on, but he had great perception and intuition and was great at diffusing situations. "All you guys look great too".

"Thank you" everyone mumbled.

Sheldon, who was equally perceptive asked a question before the awkwardness could really settle again. "Jordan, if you don't mind my asking, how did you become so interested in AIDS/HIV research? What made you pick that specialty"?

Naomi lightly touched Jordan's hand on the table. She knew his history with the disease was a long, painful, and deeply personal one. "You don't have to answer" she whispered.

Jordan kissed her on the cheek. "It's okay" he smiled. Gripping her hand tighter for support, he turned back to Sheldon. "I grew up in London but my family is originally from Nigeria. This disease is not only prevalent in my home country but the whole continent of Africa. I wanted to find a way to give back, to keep the disease from spreading further. Also, my late wife was a drug addict and contracted HIV from a dirty drug needle. She died from substantial injuries caused by a car accident but they were able to save my son, who she was pregnant with at the time. Neither I nor the doctors were aware of my wife's HIV status, so the disease was passed on to my son as well during his delivery. He, more than anything is the reason I want to find a cure" Jordan said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your personal life" Sheldon said.

"No, it's fine. I'm sure we all have hard times littering our past. Mine just motivated me to try to make a difference. My son has other health issues that limits him to a personal care home and will keep him from being able to have a normal life, but if I can improve his quality of life with finding a cure for HIV, it's worth the world. I know Naomi already said it, but thank you for coming out to support such a great cause" Jordan responded, genuinely grateful.

"Thanks for inviting us" Cooper spoke for the group. "We're all about helping our patients physically, emotionally, and mentally and when there is research out there that can help us better care for our clients, we support it". Everyone nodded in agreement. Slowly, the tension began to ebb. It finally dawned on them where they were and why. The charity dinner was so much bigger than them and their petty problems.

"I'm so glad you feel that way. Naomi was right, you really are great people" Jordan said.

Charlotte smiled up at Jordan from across the table; he'd given her the perfect opportunity to start grilling him. "While it warms my heart that Naomi has spoken about us in such high regards, I'm afraid we can't say the same. She refuses to give up the goods on you. So, I'm asking you; what's the deal between you and our dear friend"?

Pete, Sheldon, Cooper, and Sam rolled their eyes. Amelia, Addison, and a reluctant Violet grinned. Her anger towards Charlotte could not temper the fact that she was just as nosy as the other women.

"Really Charlotte? Just because I haven't told you what you want to hear doesn't mean I've been tightlipped" Naomi defended.

"It does to us" Amelia interjected. "Jordan, spill" she demanded.

Jordan laughed. Slyly, he let his hand drop off the table and rest on Naomi's exposed thigh under the table. Squeezing it, he answered, "I hate to break it to you ladies, but we're just friends; really really good friends, but friends nonetheless". He smiled mischievously as he was met with four pairs of skeptical eyes.

From Sam's position next to Naomi, he noticed Jordan's discreet maneuver. Couldn't they keep their hands off each other? The constant hand holding, the kiss on the cheek, and now the things going on under the table was making his blood boil. Or was it the fact that even though she was sitting right next to him, Naomi had yet to look in his direction? What happened to them at least being civil with each other?

Naomi felt conflicting emotions. Jordan's erotic touch was making her womanly parts tingle while she could also feel Sam's stare drilling a hole into the side of her face. She ignored both sensations and told her girls, "See I told you. Now do you believe me"?

"No" they said in unison.

"If you want us to believe you, maybe you should cut back on the public display of affection. All the hand holding and goggling eyes is not helping your case" Violet said.

"Neither is that showstopper gown you have on; that's not a dress your wear for a friend. You look so good, I'd do you" Charlotte added.

"Charlotte" Naomi exclaimed, blushing. "Knock it off girls, it's called support. And how I'm dressed is irrelevant".

"Yeah, support for your man, not for your friend. And that dress speaks volumes, it's not irrelevant at all" Addison retorted.

Jordan laughed, looking at Naomi. "I see what you mean. Working with them every day must get really interesting" he told her.

"See! This is exactly what we mean" exclaimed Amelia. "All the giggles and inside jokes; how are we supposed to not believe that more is going on"?

"Friends can't have inside jokes" Naomi asked rhetorically. "I've shared private jokes with all of you and no one ever accused us of being something more".

"Oh please. It's not the same and you know it" Charlotte said.

Jordan was about to respond when a gentleman from another table approached them. There were a few quick words exchanged before Jordan rose from his seat. "I'm sorry for the interruption but the proceedings are getting ready to start and I'm needed. I'll see you a little later this evening" he said, leaving the table.

Cooper sighed in relief; if he had to sit through any more of the interrogation, he was going to lose his mind. Needing to calm his nerves, he announced. "I'm going to the bar. Anyone care to join me"? All of the men rose before Cooper could finish his question.

Addison laughed as they walked away. "I guess it got too hot in the kitchen".

"Wimps; we were just getting started" Charlotte grinned.

"You guys are pure evil personified" Naomi said, shaking her head and trying to hide her smile.

"Thank you" Amelia grinned.

"It's our pleasure" Violet joked.

...

"That dinner was fantastic" Sheldon exclaimed, sitting back in his chair. After a bumpy start, the evening was going well. Everyone was getting along, talking enthusiastically. The speeches explaining the research foundation's objectives had been given and the money was rolling in. As guests around the banquet hall finished their dinners, they began to find their way to the dance floor.

"Yes it was. I'm going to have to run five miles just to work it off" Naomi said.

"How about a dance to get you started" Pete offered, seizing the perfect opportunity to get Naomi alone.

Jordan had been busy all evening; he hadn't even been able to sit down for dinner. Naomi would have preferred to dance with him, but Pete was a nice second choice. He was a good friend. "That would be great, do you mind Violet" Naomi asked.

"No, not at all. I'm too stuffed to move" Violet reassured.

Pete stood up and held out his hand for Naomi. Escorting her to the center of the dance floor, he couldn't help but notice all the stares Naomi was receiving. She didn't seem to notice; she was too busy scanning the room for Jordan. Pete spotted him towards the front of the room and pointed him out. "He's over there" he informed Naomi.

"That obvious" Naomi asked.

"A little. Or maybe I just know you too well". Stopping and turning around, he grabbed Naomi's right hand and lightly wrapped his left hand around her waist. As they slowly began to sway back and forth, Pete continued; "I have to admit, I usually don't pay attention to Violet's conspiracy theories but the one she has about you and Jordan doesn't sound so farfetched'.

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Not you too! I don't get what the big deal is anyway. Even if I was lying, which I'm not, why does it matter"?

"It doesn't to me, you know that. I'm just saying that you and Jordan make it interesting. The aura around you two is so mysterious. People can't help but be confused. I mean look at this dress"! Pete exhaled loudly to emphasize his point. "You're one of my oldest friends but this dress is making me forget that. I wouldn't be surprised if I had dirty dreams about you tonight".

"Pete" Naomi screamed, slapping him on the chest. "If I had known this dress would cause such a disturbance, I wouldn't have bothered".

Pete chuckled. "Don't lie Naomi. I thought you were all about honesty these days. Admit it; you wore the dress to impress Jordan. Frankly, he's a better man than I am; if it was me, we wouldn't have made it to the party tonight".

"Well, we were late, now weren't we" Naomi hinted, smiling slyly. "But seriously, I wore this dress for me, I felt like being a little risqué. Apparently, I went overboard. Jordan just so happens to be the beneficiary of it".

"Denial doesn't suit you" Pete said, shaking his head. "You wore that dress to impress. If not Jordan then..." Pete let his sentence trail off.

"Then who" Naomi asked, her heart pounding. She already knew who Pete was suggesting.

"A certain ex-husband of yours by the name of Samuel Elijah Bennett".

"Excuse me"?

"You heard me, probably knew I was going to say his name" Pete said, calling Naomi out.

"You're worse than Violet and the rest of them" Naomi accused. "Give me one good reason why I would be trying to get Sam's attention; the man who broke my heart and fell in love with my best friend".

"I don't have one but the body language is there. You've sat next to Sam all night and you've barely acknowledged him, let alone looked at him. It seems like you were trying way too hard to ignore him, but wanted to make sure he couldn't ignore you. Then there was the tension between him and Jordan. What was that all about"?

Naomi had similar questions bouncing around in her head. Why had Jordan even hinted about her conversation with Sam to her friends? Naomi sighed and confessed to Pete; "You remember that day I had that deep confessional conversation with Violet"? Continuing once Pete nodded, she said, "Sam came to my office later that evening. There was a conversation...some things were said...and some things were left unanswered when Jordan interrupted us. It's been a little awkward, even more than usual, between Sam and I ever since. I'm not ignoring him; I'm just keeping a healthy distance".

"Okay" Pete said, digesting the information. Knowing he probably couldn't get more information about the topic of the conversation, he went another direction. "That explains Sam's attitude but it doesn't explain Jordan's. Why would he even expose Sam then smooth everything over in the same breath".

"I don't know" Naomi admitted.

"It sounds like jealousy to me" Pete said. "You keep claiming you're friends, but are you sure he feels the same way".

"Don't go there Pete" Naomi warned; but secretly she was wondering the same thing. And the more her friends questioned her about her own feelings, the more confused she became as well. But she wasn't going to admit to anything until she sorted out her feelings for herself.

"Fine, I'll back off from the Jordan topic. But answer another question for me. What is the deal between Charlotte and my wife? You're walking around all nonchalant and they can barely be in the same room together. What happened at that lunch"?

Naomi sighed again; her life had become a soap opera in recent years. "I made the big mistake of asking them how they felt about Sam and Addison's relationship and if they thought I was wrong or right to be upset about it. Needless to say, they had differing opinions. I don't understand why they're still upset. They rarely agree on anything, except Cooper, and it's never been a problem before. I'm trying to stay neutral though because I don't want them to think I'm taking sides, even if I do agree with one more than the other".

"Let me guess; Violet sympathized with you and said your feelings were justified while Charlotte told you it was time to get over it and move on" Pete said.

"Actually it was the exact opposite. Violet did say she understood why I felt the way I did but technically Sam and Addison did nothing wrong and I shouldn't feel betrayed; that they deserved happiness and being together is what makes them happy. Charlotte disagreed with her and proceeded to give a long explanation as to why Sam and Addison do not belong together. It was like she was reading my thoughts Pete; it was so scary. She even dissected things I never thought about".

Pete's eyes popped in surprise. "Wow, that's a shocker. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand Violet? I just knew she would side with you. And for Charlotte to defend your honor, that's even wilder".

"I know what you mean. I'm not upset with Violet, I asked for her honest opinion, but I was completely thrown for a loop. I can't help but wonder if she's speaking from a friend or professional point of view. I'm just baffled. Charlotte on the other hand, a few months ago, my jaw would have dropped to the floor. But ever since I've returned from Africa, we've grown really close. Our personal struggles have given us a common ground and allowed us to get to know each other in way that would have been impossible before. Underneath that tough exterior is one of the most caring, loyal, supportive, and loving people you will ever meet".

"And now it makes sense" Pete said, a thought dawning on him.

"What" Naomi asked.

"I think Violet has probably noticed how close you and Charlotte have become and she's afraid of you pulling away from her like you did when Addison first moved here. Plus, she probably feels guilty about having an opinion that doesn't match yours. That's why she and Charlotte are in a silent feud. Violet is afraid of losing you and Charlotte is too impatient to put up with her insecurities".

Naomi sighed. "I miss the days when I was observing everybody else's drama instead of being in the center of it".

Pete smile sympathetically as he twirled Naomi in a circle. "We've all had our moment in the spot light. I guess the powers that be decided it was your turn".

...

Jordan needed a drink; the evening had gone off without a hitch and had been a huge success. The donations they received would go a long way in helping fund HIV/AIDS research. Walking towards the bar, he noticed Sam Bennett standing there by himself, drinking a gin and tonic and staring in the direction of the crowded dance floor. It didn't take a genius to guess what, or rather who, he was staring at but Jordan followed Sam's gaze to confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, Sam's eyes were locked in on Naomi dancing with Pete. He was concentrating so hard, Jordan had to speak to get his attention. "I hope you've enjoyed yourself this evening".

Sam finally noticed Jordan standing near him and immediately put his guard up; he didn't trust Jordan. "Yeah, everything was great" he responded generically.

"She's beautiful, isn't she" Jordan commented, pointing towards Naomi who seemed to be having an in depth conversation as she glided across the dance floor with Pete.

Skipping over the small talk and formalities, Sam got straight to the point. "What game are you playing man"?

"None" Jordan said.

"Then why did you bring up meeting me and then lie about the circumstances" Sam asked.

"I was testing you and you failed miserably" Jordan said bluntly.

"Testing me? You don't even know me" Sam argued.

"I don't have to know you to see that you're still in love with your ex-wife. Otherwise, you would have told Addison about your conversation with Naomi. Then again, based on what Naomi told me you two talked about, maybe it was wise to keep your mouth shut" Jordan taunted.

Sam balled his fists in agitation. He was desperate to punch Jordan in his face but he refused to give in; through his fury, he sensed Jordan was purposely trying to get a rise out of him. Why? "You're in love with here aren't you" Sam asked, the light bulb clicking on.

Jordan smiled. "Nice deflection. I'll play along. Naomi and I are just friends. Perhaps in another life, or had me met earlier in this one, things would be different. But we didn't meet earlier so friends we are, and friends we will remain" he answered vaguely. "So tell me, does Addison know you're still in love with Naomi"?

"You didn't answer my question" Sam said, staring Jordan dead in the eye.

"You're not answering mine" Jordan responded, his gaze equally strong.

"Must be hard sleeping in the same bed with her every night pretending you don't want more because you know she'll never return your feelings" Sam teased.

"It must be difficult realizing letting a beautiful woman, inside and out, like Naomi go was the biggest mistake of your life. I'd want to live in self-denial too. Watching her move on can't be easy" Jordan shot back. "Oh, and let me give you the answer to the question you've been obsessing over". Jordan stepped ever so closer to Sam and lowered his voice. "Naomi might be the best you ever had, but you're certainly not her best. I'm the man that has her screaming at the top of her lungs every night; I guarantee she's hitting high notes she never dreamed of hitting with you. That's just what we friends do for each other".

"You son of a bitch" growled Sam in a deadly low pitch. He was about to take a swing when he heard someone call his name.

"Sam" Addison said again as she drew nearer to where her boyfriend stood with Jordan. They looked like they were having an intense conversation that was angering them both. She didn't have time to contemplate what it was about. "Sam" she said again as she reached them. "I just received a call from my mother. She just boarded a chartered flight to L.A. and asked me to meet her at the airport; she said it was an emergency. Could you please drive me"?

Sam gave one more hard glare at Jordan before he turned to Addison; Jordan had been saved by the bell as far as Sam was concerned. "Yeah, baby let's go. I'm sure everyone will understand why we left early. You'll spread the message won't you Jordan" Sam asked, putting him on the spot.

"Sure, no problem" Jordan said, wishing Sam would have hit him so he could return the favor.

"Thanks Jordan. It was nice to meet you. Hopefully, I'll see you again soon" Addison said hurriedly, before she and Sam scurried towards the exit leaving Jordan standing at the bar alone.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Jordan carried Naomi in his arms over the threshold of her bedroom. Her body was too tired and her feet ached too much to get out of the car. Jordan had teased her about leaving her there, but one kiss from her and he'd turned into silly putty in her hands. He placed her carefully on the ground and wrapped his arms tightly around her, continuing to hold her.

"Thank you" Naomi whispered as she rested her head on his chest.

"Thank you" Jordan reciprocated.

"For what" she asked.

"For being by my side, supporting me, for convincing your colleagues to come to the benefit tonight; we raised twice the money we projected". Jordan traced Naomi's spine up and down with his finger as he talked.

"You don't have to thank me for that. Like Cooper said earlier, we support any cause that will help us treat our patients. He sees one kid who has had HIV since he was three because of a blood transfusion. I didn't have to convince them at all; they wanted to come".

"Even that ex-husband of yours" Jordan asked skeptically.

Naomi rolled her eyes. "I hardly know what's on his mind these days; but I do know he cares about his patients' well-being as much as the rest of us".

"Oh, I can tell you what's on his mind these days". Jordan stepped away from Naomi so he could look her in the eye and read her reaction. "You" he said.

"Jordan please, that's ridiculous" Naomi said exasperated.

"I told you when we were in Africa that he would realize his mistake. The only thing left for him to do is confess his undying love and come crawling back" Jordan continued.

"And I told you, Sam and I have already been down that road. It didn't work out. I was too scared of being hurt again and he was scared of making a commitment. So we decided to leave the past in the past; I've moved on and he's moved on with my former best friend, in case you've forgotten. We're over...indefinitely" Naomi added to stress her point. She was tired of all the gossip and drama surrounding Sam. Her friends were fighting over whether he should be with Addison, Pete was accusing her of trying to get his attention, and now Jordan was accusing Sam of being in love with her. The madness had to stop.

"Believe that lie if you want to, but trust me, Sam is going to make a play for you. Can't say that I blame him though" Jordan said, pulling Naomi close again, softly kissing her neck.

Naomi pushed him back. "What has gotten into you? What's with the sudden obsession over my ex-husband? And now that I'm thinking about it, what kind of stunt were you pulling earlier tonight" Naomi asked question after question in rapid succession.

"I was confirming my suspicions. If he was over you, he would have told Addison about your conversation; instead he found the need to keep it a secret. I'm not obsessed, I'm just looking out for you" Jordan explained, trying to wrap his hands back around her.

Pushing her hand against his chest to keep him at bay, Naomi said "There's nothing to protect me from. You sound jealous".

"What if I was" Jordan asked point blank. He didn't want to admit it, but Sam's words had gotten to him. And his own behavior was beginning to annoy him; looking from the outside in, he could understand why he might be mistaken for an insecure boyfriend instead of the supportive friend he was supposed to be.

Naomi hesitated; she couldn't tell if Jordan was being serious or hypothetical. She dropped her hand and stared at him, her heart causing her chest to heave up and down. "I would say that's a complication in what's supposed to be an uncomplicated friendship" she said carefully.

"I see" Jordan said backing further away. Taking off his tuxedo jacket, he draped it over the chair next to the door. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his legs, stuffed his hand in his pockets, and stared back at Naomi. "Let's just pretend that I'm right and Sam was downstairs, at this very moment, on your front doorstep waiting to win you back. What would your response be"?

"I don't see what that has to do..."

"Please just answer the question".

Naomi opened her mouth but nothing came out; her mind went completely blank. She honestly had no answer, had no idea what to say. A reunion with Sam never seemed to be in the realms of a possibility for her to even consider.

"I suspected you might still be in love with him when we were in Africa; there were, still are, too many unresolved issues between you two. I guess I was right" Jordan said quietly, when she failed to speak.

"That's not true. The thought of getting back with Sam hasn't occurred to me for a very long time" she said, finding her voice again. "How could you expect me to answer a question like that right on the spot" Naomi asked defensively.

"I would think if you had no desire to be with him, it would be an easy answer. You would say no before I could finish the question".

Naomi walked towards him, closing the gap between them, physically and emotionally. "It's not that simple Jordan. When you spend nearly half your life living with a person, they become a part of you. Sam and I might be over, but there will always be a soft spot in my heart for him. We share a child, there's a bond there that can't be broken no matter how hard we try. You know this; after everything Michelle put you through, you can't honestly deny a small part of you will always belong to her".

"I understand that and it's true. But having a soft spot and still wanting to be with someone are two different things. So I'm asking you straight out, are you still in love with Sam". Jordan studied her closely, waiting for her answer.

Since her relationship with Jordan was based on honesty, Naomi reluctantly took his question to heart and deeply pondered her feelings. She had to admit there were a few troubling moments between her and Sam; her body had reacted in ways she hadn't expected. Tingling hands, rapid heartbeats; apparently her ex-husband could still get to her. But those feelings and reactions were nostalgia, she didn't want him back. Right? She met Jordan's gaze. "I would be lying if I said that Sam doesn't still affect me. Old habits can be hard to break. But no, I'm not in love with him and if he came crawling back this second, I wouldn't take him back". Naomi placed her hand back on Jordan's chest and felt his heart speed up.

"So what does that mean for you and me" Jordan asked, standing up straight.

"Jordan" Naomi whispered. "This whole conversation is scaring me. What exactly are you trying to get at"? She felt her own heart beat speed up and match his.

Jordan grasped the hand lying on his chest. "I wanted to know if you were still in love with Sam because he was the only real obstacle standing in our way. As much as I try to fight and deny it, I can't help but wonder why we can't be more than friends" he answered. While he was waiting for Naomi to answer him, he realized just how much her answer mattered to him. That asshole Sam was right; somewhere along the way, Jordan had fallen in love with her.

"You know why" Naomi said.

"Refresh my memory" Jordan whispered as he leaned down and kissed her neck. His hands dropped down to her hips.

A small moan slipped between Naomi's lips; she closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. "You said sex wouldn't affect our friendship, that it would be a condition of our friendship. We both agreed that it couldn't, wouldn't, and shouldn't go any further. We're both damaged goods Jordan; how could we possibly be good for each other as a couple? What if things don't work out; I don't want to lose you as a friend".

"I promise that no matter what happens we'll always be friends. But we can't not try to make it work; we owe it to ourselves" Jordan said. His hand slid upwards from her hips to the bare skin exposed between the deep plunges of her dress. His finger stroked up and down between her breasts.

"Jordan..."

"Can you honestly say you don't feel more for me than friendship? Be honest with yourself. Something has changed; we're not the same people who made that pact in Africa; there's something more than friendship going on between us. What I'm feeling can't be one-sided". Jordan's hands reached underneath the fabric on both sides of her plunging neckline and began to roughly massage her breasts. He pinched and teased her nipples until they became hard as diamonds.

He was right; she wanted to blame her changing feelings on her friends teasing her but that simply wasn't the case. Jordan was her rock; the person she could confide in about anything. He listened when she needed an ear, he soothed when she needed comfort, and he pleased her night in and night out with his bedroom prowess. When Naomi wasn't with him, she missed him. When she was with him, the thought of leaving him pained her. "No, your feelings are not one-sided" she moaned. "But how could we make this work; we don't even live in the same country". She tried to back away but Jordan pulled her closer.

Pulling the top half of her dress down and completely off, so that it dangled around her waistline, Jordan pressed his chest up against hers and kissed her slow and deep. Each kiss grew more intense, their chests heaved up and down in synchronization. Naomi's kisses made him feel intoxicated; he kissed her until he physically could breathe no longer. Their lips breaking apart, he rested his cheek against hers. "We can overcome any obstacle as long as we're willing to try. We owe ourselves the chance to make each other happy".

"You already make me happy" Naomi confessed. Tugging at her dress, she pulled it down until it pooled around her feet. Now only clad in sheer black see-through panties, she kicked her dress away from her and began to unbutton Jordan's dress shirt.

"We can make each other even happier. I know you're scared, I'm scared too. All I'm asking is that you think about it. Whatever decision you make, we'll still be friends; even if we try and fail, we'll still be friends. I just don't want to let this opportunity slip by; I don't want us to have any regrets" Jordan said as Naomi slipped his shirt off his shoulders and it fell to the ground.

She couldn't think clearly; Jordan had once again awoken the sexual beast that was always lurking beneath the surface; it needed to be released. Life changing decisions would have to be made later. Naomi reached for his belt buckle, began undoing it. She leaned into him and whispered "I'll think about it…later" before she raised up on her tip-toes and kissed him. Her hands were moving faster now, unzipping his pants and pulling them and his boxers down.

As soon as Jordan's legs were free, he picked her up and slammed her against the wall. He ripped her panties off and felt her moist heat; she was hotter than the sun on a hot summer day. Her vaginal lips had spread apart like delicate flower pedals. He stroked her clitoris, his fingers immediately becoming wet and sticky with her juices. Teasing her, he slowly inserted one then two fingers into her blazing inferno.

Naomi held on dear for life. She clung to his neck, kissing him all over his face and neck. "Jordan" she whimpered, practically begged as he continued to slowly torture her.

Silent as a thief in the night, Jordan carried her to the bed and laid Naomi down, his body following and covering hers. He slipped into with the ease of two lovers familiar with each other. He felt Naomi wrap her legs around him, pull him closer to her, as if inviting him inside her womb. He held her tighter, his thrusts slow, long, strong, and intense. With each thrust, he tried to find the bottom of her moist tunnel, tried to find the end. With each thrust, he fell further down the rabbit hole; this woman consumed him mentally physically, and emotionally. With each thrust, he hoped against hope that she would agree to be his because he was already hopelessly hers.

Naomi's back arched high off the bed every time Jordan slammed his well-endowed penis into her. Her fingers clung to the sheets so hard, they were beginning to cramp. Her head writhed back and forth in the throes of passion. The only thing that kept her from floating off the bed was her legs clinging to Jordan for dear life. She screamed when she felt Jordan's hot wet mouth cover her nipple; he sucked, teased, kissed, blew on it until it ached with the sweetest pain. Naomi uncurled her fingers from the sheets and grabbed Jordan's face. She kissed him with every ounce of passion she had in her body; and as he thrust into her one last time, their bodies simultaneously exploded, fireworks clouded their vision, and they sank into a silent sleep inducing euphoria.


	15. Chapter 15

**As usual, thank you for reading guys. This story is taking so many turns, even more than I expected. I do/did have someone in mind as the endgame for Naomi but it's not written in stone. I'm letting the story guide me, so wherever this fanfic ends, I'll be just as surprised as the rest of you. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm too sleepy to know if it makes sense, LOL.**

Chapter Fifteen

Naomi was floating in the clouds; no, above the clouds. She'd have to take an elevator down three floors to reach the clouds. That's how good Jordan had her feeling. From day one, he had been a good friend and a good lover but when those two traits melded together...magic! Bringing his compassion and sensitivity into the bedroom deepened the connection they shared. Naomi was surprised just how tender he could be; he'd made her feel like she was the only person who mattered, who existed. So why hadn't she committed to being Jordan's girlfriend? Was she scared? Or was it her gut instinct telling her to wait? Officially becoming a couple wouldn't be a major leap. In many respects, she and Jordan were already living like an old married couple. They slept in the same bed, ate dinner together, they even accommodated each other's schedules. And lately, Jordan had insisted on contributing to household expenses.

Trapped in a maze of her own thoughts, Naomi drifted into the kitchen, at the practice, to grab a second cup of coffee. When she turned around, she was surprised to find Sam sitting at the bar alone. He must have been equally lost in thought because he didn't seem to notice her arrival. Naomi contemplated sneaking away unnoticed but that would be childish. Their discussion had been weeks ago; he asked a question and she chose not to answer. It was time to stop dwelling, to let it go and move on like she was doing with the rest of her life. "Rough weekend" she asked, stepping in front of him and taking a sip of coffee.

Sam blinked in surprise. How long had Naomi been standing there? And since when had she stopped pretending she wasn't avoiding him? Too tired to contemplate it, he sighed. "Yeah, the roughest".

"Does it have anything to do with why you left the charity dinner early on Saturday? Jordan said there was an emergency with Addison but he didn't have any details" Naomi said, studying Sam a little closer. He looked so tired and worn down.

Sam briefly wondered if Jordan had told Naomi about the conversation they were having before Addison interrupted them; probably not. "Yeah; the emergency was Bizzy's girlfriend, Susan. She has stage four ovarian cancer. Bizzy is driving Addison to an early grave with all these high demands to do the impossible. She fully expects Addison to cure Susan. But you know Addison; she never wants to disappoint her mother in some hopeless endeavor that Bizzy might actually express any token of love. She performed a highly experimental operation on Susan this morning. We'll see how it goes".

"Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that" Naomi said, genuinely upset. Sam was right, she did know Addison. She was probably pretending to stay strong for her mother, but inside she was crumbling with the pressure and fear of disappointment. The bad news also explained Sam's appearance; trying support Addison through a hard time was a tall order. She tended to shut down and push people away. "Well, I hope the impossible does happen and Susan pulls through; I know that would mean the world not only to Bizzy, but Addison as well. They were close when Addison was growing up".

"They were, but that was before Addison found out her mother was a lesbian and that Susan had been her secret lover for over twenty years" Sam pointed out.

"She still cares" Naomi assured. "She was just hurt, more by Bizzy than Susan. I know she's probably making it hard for you to support her, but hang in there. She needs you more than she's willing to admit, or even realizes". Naomi checked her watch. Her next patient would be arriving shortly; she needed to get back downstairs. "I have a packed schedule today, but if I can find the time, I'll stop by the hospital later today to check on her. If I can't, I'll make time tomorrow". Naomi looked up to find Sam staring at her strangely. "What" she asked.

"You are an enigma. I could make a strong argument that I know you better than anybody but you still manage to blindside me" Sam said, shaking his head.

"What are you talking about"?

"Giving me relationship advice and going to check on Addison is not exactly normal behavior for you these days. Hell, you've barely spoken to us in the last few weeks. You hate us, remember" Sam said, raising a curious eyebrow.

Naomi sighed, rolled her eyes. "I don't hate you or Addison. Still caring is part of the problem; it's what makes your relationship so difficult to come to terms with. But what Addison is dealing with now has nothing to do with that. I wouldn't even wish these circumstances on my worst enemy. Despite the issues we have, how could I not show compassion to someone I care about in a situation like this? Do you really expect so little of me" Naomi asked, slightly offended.

"No, you checking on Addison is surprising but I'm not shocked; that's classic Naomi. What's really throwing me for a loop is you giving me advice on how to deal with Addison as her boyfriend. Why would you do that? Us being together is the reason why we're so estranged now" Sam explained, confused. Naomi appearing so nonchalant about his relationship was unsettling. He wondered if her new attitude had anything to do with Jordan.

Naomi paused, how could she explain? "You're right; I don't like you two together, and I never will. I can get used to it but I'll never like it. But a relationship is between two people; in this case, you and Addison. My opinion should not matter nor should it give you an excuse to be a shitty boyfriend and vice versa. Sam, our marriage ended because you were looking for something new, something better. As much as it pains me to say this, if Addison is what you were looking for, why would I encourage you to be less of a man? I want our divorce to mean something, to have been worth all the pain and struggle. I want us both to find better so that when we look back on our marriage, we can both say we had some great years together but we ran our course, that getting divorced was the right decision".

"Do you think getting divorced was the right decision" Sam asked, watching Naomi very closely.

"Excuse me" Naomi blurted out, caught off guard.

"Addison is not better, she's just different. No one is better than you; maybe on par, but not better. So if we're going by your logic, should we have gotten divorced? Or have you already found better with Jordan" Sam asked.

The conversation in her office flashed through Naomi's head. Sam hadn't outright asked her who was better in bed again, but it was definitely implied. She also knew her ex-husband well enough to know that he wanted to discover how deep her feelings for Jordan ran. Sam wanted to know if she was in love with him. But was it simple curiosity or jealousy? Was Jordan right? "Does it really matter at this point? We're already divorced and we can't change the past. All we can do is look to the future. If you haven't found better yet, I hope you will. Maybe you already have and don't know it; some people don't realize what's standing right in front of their eyes sometimes" Naomi said, sidestepping his question. Regardless of what she had with Jordan, she was not going to discuss it with Sam.

"Oh, I see what's standing right in front of me" Sam said slowly, his eyes roaming over Naomi's body and face. The blazer she wore over the tight purple dress hardly concealed her curves. Had she always dressed like this? 'Yes', Sam reflected in head, but maybe she had been more subtle in the past. Her clothes weren't overtly sexual now, but they were tighter; they showed just how toned she kept her beautiful body. And she seemed to give off an aura that drew men in. Every day he saw male patients wagging their tongues, staring at her. What was worse, she didn't seem to realize just how sexy she was or the effect she had on men.

Flustered, Naomi felt her body heat up. "Sam..." she started, before Charlotte walked in the kitchen.

"Hey Naomi, a nurse was looking for you. Your patient arrived five minutes ago" Charlotte said, before she noticed the tension in the room.

"Shoot, I lost track of time" Naomi said, coughing to clear the huskiness out of her throat. She turned to Sam, purposely avoiding eye contact. "Please send my best wishes to Addison and let her know I'll stop by today or tomorrow". With that, she left the kitchen, but not before she caught Charlotte's 'What the hell is going on' expression. Naomi shot her a look that said 'I'll explain later' as she walked away.

...

"Alright, I've given you enough time; explain" Charlotte demanded, closing the door behind her as walked into Naomi's office and sat in front of her desk. Whatever she had walked in on in that kitchen was attention-grabbing; she wanted details.

Naomi looked up from the case files on her desk. "Stop being dramatic, it's really nothing serious. Since when did you become interested in office gossip anyway" she asked.

"Since your life became more interesting than a daytime soap opera. It's a guilty pleasure. Now talk" Charlotte demanded again.

"I don't even know where to start or how to describe it" Naomi admitted, leaning back in her chair. "Sam's just been...I don't know...I guess it started the day he overheard me having sex with Jordan" she rambled.

"What"?! Charlotte's eyes popped in surprise.

"Yep" Naomi confirmed, just now remembering no one knew about the incident. "It was during those three days I went missing when Jordan first arrived. I was trying to be responsible and call Addison to let her know I wasn't coming. But Jordan was...distracting me and I forgot what I was doing. Sam picked up Addison's phone that morning and got an earful".

"Exactly what did he overhear? How long did he listen" Charlotte asked, leaning over the desk.

Naomi was so embarrassed at the time; she never stopped to think about it. "I don't know. Long enough to know what I was up to".

"And he never told Addison"?

"As far as I know, no. He just told her I called and that I would be out of the office for the day. He didn't even tell me what he knew until after everyone confronted me the morning I came back to work. I thought he was just being discreet and I was grateful but then later that day, things just got weird". Naomi bit her lip in contemplation.

"How so" Charlotte asked, leaning further over the desk. Secretly, she wished she had a buttery bowl of popcorn. She felt for Naomi and was there to support her, but the story Naomi was telling right now was better than a steamy novel or good TV movie.

"Well, thanks to Violet, a second conversation in less than a week was overheard by the whole office. After I found out all of you had heard my deep dark feelings, I would have been surprised if Sam had NOT come to my office later that day. So much of what I said was about him".

"That's not really weird Nae; like you said, it was expected" Charlotte commented.

"It wasn't weird that he came to my office; it was the tone of the conversation. He apologized for hurting me, which I appreciated, but everything else came out of left field. If I didn't know better, it sounded like he regretted divorcing me. Which can't be true, right" Naomi asked, but kept speaking before Charlotte could respond. "But then when I pointed out he moved on with Addison, he dodged the subject completely. Next thing I know, we're talking about Jordan and he's asking who's better in bed. After hearing me tell Violet how good sex with Jordan was, Sam just had to know how he compared" Naomi ranted.

"Okay, I know this isn't the point and I promise I'll get to the point, but as a sexologist I have to know. Who is better, Sam or Jordan" Charlotte asked, point blank.

"Sex is different with every person. You really can't compare things of that nature, it's like apples and oranges" Naomi replied diplomatically.

"Oh, don't get all politically correct with me. I'm assuming they're both good in bed since you're hesitant to answer, but I know you prefer one over the other. No matter how many good lovers a woman has had, there's always one that stands out from the crowd. So which one is it" Charlotte inquired.

"Sam told me I was the best he ever had; he said no one came close" Naomi said, attempting to distract Charlotte from her line of questioning.

Charlotte was smart enough to realize what Naomi was doing, but she couldn't help but fall for it anyway. "ARE YOU SERIOUS" she practically yelled.

"Keep your voice down" Naomi quickly responded. "And when he asked me again how he compared, Jordan interrupted us before I could answer. And I still haven't answered. I've been keeping a healthy distance from Sam since; until today. I finally decided to be an adult and get over it, and then right before you walked in, he goes and asks me should we have ever gotten a divorce. Addison's family is in a mini crisis and he's rehashing the past...again. What the hell is wrong with him" Naomi asked, exasperated.

Charlotte sat back in her chair, shaking her head in amazement. Naomi was too smart to be acting this naive. "You and I know exactly what's wrong with him. He's obviously still in love with you".

"Not you too. Jordan has had that theory since we were in Africa. This weekend he even said that Sam would try to win me back and accused me of still being in love with him too. Isn't that ridiculous" Naomi asked.

Charlotte studied Naomi curiously. "Well, are you" she asked.

"Of course not" Naomi answered, frustrated Charlotte had even bothered to ask. "As a matter of fact, Jordan asked me to consider taking our relationship to the next level. I know we kept insisting that we were just friends, but we had a really good talk this weekend and reevaluated our friendship. It made me realize just much I really care about him".

"In other words, Jordan is in love with you and wants more. And while you finally admit you care about him as more than a friend, you're not ready for a commitment. I'm pretty sure, he's all in and you're the one holding the relationship back" Charlotte said bluntly. Charlotte was fairly confident that Naomi honestly believed she was over Sam, but she wasn't so sure. Jordan was such a good match for Naomi. Why would she hold back unless she was subconsciously clinging to the past, just like Sam?

Naomi was taken aback. "Well, I wouldn't put it that way. No one said anything about love but the ball is in my court. I'm not holding back, I'm just taking time to be sure. I don't want one impulsive decision to ruin our friendship".

"Maybe you're just scared" Charlotte suggested, softening her tone.

"Partially, for the reasons I just mentioned" Naomi agreed.

"No, that not it" Charlotte said, shaking her head. "I think you're scared of truly moving on and letting go. I know that's your goal, but you haven't gotten there yet. You're scared to be truly happy because you know how painful it is when things fall apart. You can't think or live like that Naomi, you have to live in the moment". Charlotte reached over the desk and grasped Naomi's hand.

Naomi's bottom lip began to quiver but she refused to let tears fall. "You sound like Violet" she said, smiling sadly.

"We disagree on a lot of things but on this, I think she's right. I'm not saying Jordan is the answer; I'm just saying don't deny yourself an opportunity by trying to predict the future. Would you trade all those years you spent with Sam away if you knew it would end" Charlotte asked.

Naomi hated to admit it but she told the truth. "No".

"Exactly".

"Charlotte King, where did you come from? And why did it take us so long to become friends"?

Charlotte smiled. "I feel the same way".

...

"Hey, you look like you're some place far away" Jordan commented as he pushed through the door and walked into Naomi's office.

Turning her glazed vision from the final rays of daylight streaming through her office window, Naomi smiled at Jordan. "Just doing some thinking; it's been a long day". Between Addison's family crisis, Sam's mixed signals and her heart to heart with Charlotte, not only was she tired, she felt emotionally drained. Add on top of that, dealing with a full schedule of patients, she was physically exhausted as well.

Sitting down in a chair, Jordan asked "Do you want to talk about it"?

She didn't; Naomi felt she had done enough talking for the day. What she needed was to relax, let the events of the day ease out of her body. Standing up, she slowly walked around her desk, tracing her index finger along the edge, until she was standing in front of Jordan. Straddling him, she eased down on his lap, kissed him softly on the lips. "Talking is overrated, I have something else in mind" she whispered, blowing in his ear.

Jordan didn't need any more hints or any more convincing. Roughly grabbing her neck, he pulled her face closer, kissing her hard on the mouth. He slipped his tongue inside, probing and exploring. His hands became restless, they began roaming, tugging off her blazer, unzipping her dress.

Naomi's hands were equally restless; she reached for Jordan's buckle, unzipped his pants and pushed them down as far as she could. She couldn't move fast enough; with each passing moment, the heat between her legs rose a degree. She needed him inside of her now. Lifting up just enough to hike her dress up and move her panties to the side, she eased down on him and sighed in pleasure.

...

Sam jogged down the stairwell to the fourth floor. Before he headed to the hospital to be with Addison, he wanted to finish his conversation with Naomi. Every time they seemed to reach a critical moment in their discussion, they were interrupted. Naomi had escaped answering several questions; Sam wanted to be able to let it go, but he couldn't. What had started off as lighthearted curious questions were now big mysteries that he was determined to solve. The look he caught in Naomi's eyes when he asked those questions intrigued him; he wanted his questions answered.

Reaching her office door, he was about to knock when he heard strange noises coming from the other side. There were soft moans and whispered curses. Was she hurt? Suddenly, Sam's shirt collar felt tight around his neck; he felt his airway constricting and his face heating up. He knew he should walk away but he had to confirm his suspicions. Quietly, he pushed the door open a few inches and peaked inside. His heart stopped. Naomi's radiant skin was completely exposed except for the bunched up dress covering her midsection. Jordan's head rest in between her perky breasts; Sam could hear him licking and sucking her skin. Her eyes were closed, but Sam could tell Naomi was enjoying his touch, his mouth on her body. Her mouth was open and a steady stream of senseless murmurs and moans were escaping her mouth. Her body rose and fell against Jordan as she rode him in a steady rhythm on the chair in front of her desk. Sam was about to turn away when Jordan grabbed her face and pulled it towards his. The heavy eye-lidded look Naomi gave him, full of passion and desire, made Sam's blood run cold. He didn't need any answers after all; that one look seemed to answer all his questions. Backing away from the door, stumbling like he had been shot, he headed towards the elevator wishing he could un-see everything he just witnessed.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm in a flower shop buying flowers for my mother's lesbian wedding. A week ago, we didn't even know if Susan was going to live and now I'm planning a freaking wedding" Addison ranted to Naomi as they walked through a sea of flowers.

"Would you stop throwing a temper tantrum and actually pick the flowers you're going to buy? What kind does your mother like anyway" Naomi asked.

"According to my mother, she's doing this for Susan. This is all about Susan and what she wants. I guess it's a gift for being Bizzy's mistress for the past twenty years". Addison sighed; every time she thought about the life her mother led behind closed doors, she wanted to scream. Why couldn't her mother have been honest with her?

Naomi sighed in frustration; she needed to get Addison back on track. "Okay, well what type of flowers does Susan like"?

"I don't know" Addison said defiantly.

"Why are you being such a brat" Naomi asked, bewildered. "This is a happy occasion".

"Because" Addison exclaimed. "My whole life, I've wanted approval from my mother, a little display of affection. I wanted her to tell me she loved me, give me a hug, or at least acknowledge my accomplishments. You know what that feels like Nae; our mothers are alike in that way except Bizzy is ten times worse. I did the near impossible last week and saved Susan's life and did I even get so much as a thank you? No. But the way she acts around Susan, I don't even recognize the woman. The constant smiles, kisses, and hand holding; she was never like that with the Captain or me or Archer. It's like there's been an invasion of the body snatchers".

"I've told you for years, if you want something from your mother, you're going to have to ask for it. Stop waiting for her to read your mind; all you're doing is setting yourself up for disappointment" Naomi advised.

"I know, you're right. It's just frustrating" Addison said, frowning.

"You never know, maybe this wedding will improve your relationship with Bizzy. This proves she's not the cold and heartless person you thought she was. Deep down, she might actually be the warm and caring mommy you always wanted" Naomi said, trying to improve Addison's spirits.

Addison's eyebrow arched at the idea. "Maybe" she said, a new glimmer of hope shining in her eyes. "Alright, let's go for understated elegance. Susan doesn't like flashy" she said, refocusing on the mission at hand.

"There you go" Naomi said, smiling.

As they walked the aisles looking for the appropriate flowers, Addison glanced at Naomi. Over the past few days, Naomi had been a rock for her, helping her get through the dramatic ordeal that was her family. She'd managed to put their issues aside and be her friend when Addison needed her most. "In case I haven's said it before, I really appreciate all your support this past week. I don't know if I could have gotten through it without you. It almost feels like old times" she said hesitantly, not wanting to rock the boat.

"There is no need to thank me. Our personal drama aside, I could not claim to care about you and not be here for you. I'm just glad everything worked out. What about these" Naomi asked, looking at some peonies.

"Those could work" Addison said. "Do you think we'll ever get back to hanging out like this on a regular basis" Addison asked lightly, trying not to push.

"I don't know" Naomi answered honestly.

"I miss you" Addison said, heartfelt.

"I miss you too" Naomi admitted. In many respects, she wished she forget all the drama from the past few years and just start over; she wanted a clean slate for everyone, including herself. But then she remembered the good that had occurred; however brief, she'd enjoyed her time with Fife, William had given her the foundation, her precious grandchild Olivia had been born, she'd formed a special friendship with Charlotte, and then there was Jordan. Naomi didn't want to forget all the people who had a touching effect on her life. Yet, deep down, she wished just as hard, if not harder, than Addison that they could get back on track one day; in order to do that, trust would have to be rebuilt. That was going to take an indiscernible amount of time.

Addison grabbed Naomi's hand and squeezed it. "One day, I have hope" she said.

"Surprisingly, I do too" Naomi said, squeezing Addison's hand back. Naomi's phone rang, disrupting their moment. Reaching in her purse, she reached for her cell before it cut off. Answering it, she had a very brief conversation before she hung up. Feeling a little uncomfortable, Naomi turned back to Addison. "I hate to cut this short, but I have an unexpected appointment back at the office".

"Don't look so nervous Nae; he called me, said you insisted on it" Addison said.

"And you're okay with it? With all the drama we've had, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire" Naomi said.

"It's fine. Go; I'll be okay finishing up her by myself" Addison reassured.

"Alright, I'll see you at the wedding tomorrow" Naomi said, headed towards the door.

...

"Why me" Naomi asked. "There has to be more than one reputable fertility specialist in Seattle" she said, staring at the couple in front of her from behind her desk.

"Because, you're one of the best fertility specialists in the country. And you're one of my oldest and dearest friends" Derek said. Looking at his new wife Meredith, he continued. "I want the best for my wife; we want to start our family as soon as possible".

Meredith smiled shyly. "I told Derek not to call you. I know you're good friends with Addison and I didn't want to put you in an awkward position. But he insisted on it. I understand if you don't want to take us on as patients" she said quietly.

Naomi's eyebrows arched. Yes, this was a unique situation but obviously Derek, and therefore Meredith, weren't aware that the word 'good' presently did not describe she Addison's friendship; strained was more like it. "That's why I insisted Derek call Addison before I even agreed to meet with you. She said she didn't have a problem with it. She has a lot on her plate these days anyway" Naomi explained.

"What was that" Derek asked.

"What was what" Naomi responded.

"That look in your eye when Meredith mentioned Addison; are you two fighting again? It seems like you two fall out once a year" Derek said, sighing.

"We're here to discuss you and Meredith, not me" Naomi deflected.

"Oh, this must be big" Derek said, sitting up straighter in his chair. "You're not talking and apparently neither is Addison. Because she tells Mark everything and Mark tells me everything".

"Well then you must know about Bizzy leaving the Captain for Susan; and how Addison just cured Susan's stage four cancer; and now Bizzy and Susan are getting married tomorrow. Since you're in town, do you and Meredith plan on attending? I'm supposed to give the caterer the final headcount tonight" Naomi said, again avoiding Derek's questions. One thing about old friends, they knew you too well. Then again, all of Naomi's friends could read her well; maybe not her thoughts, but her face was too expressive. However, with older friends, they picked up on behavioral patterns, predicted your every move; they were definitely the worst offenders.

"Am I going to have to track down Sam to get some answers" Derek asked. "How has he been doing lately"?

Older friends were more persistent too. Naomi sighed and sat back in her chair. Even if she wanted to answer Derek's last question, she couldn't. For some unknown reason, Sam had flipped the script; he was now avoiding her. On the few occasions she had seen him, he avoided eye contact and turned and walked in the opposite direction. Knowing Derek wouldn't let it go until he got some information, Naomi said "Addison would be the one to ask about Sam these days".

"Why" Derek asked confused.

Meredith, whose head had been whipping back and forth between Naomi and Derek, was the first to fit the puzzle pieces together. "Sam and Addison are dating" she exclaimed.

"No, there's no way" Derek said, dismissing the idea...until he looked at Naomi's face. "NO! Naomi..." his words trailed off. He knew that she must be hurting deeply, that there were no words.

"Shall we get back to business" Naomi asked, continuing as if a bombshell hadn't been dropped. Not wanting to see the pity and sympathy covering Derek's face, she focused on Meredith's face. She didn't need or want pity; Sam and Addison were adults who made a decision that affected her, but that didn't make her victim; and Naomi didn't want to be treated like one. Besides, it was old news at this point; she was months, almost a year, past the initial shock; she didn't want to relive it with Derek. "I assume you have a copy of your file from the first specialist you visited; once I review that, we can get you into a room where I can examine you and get a blood sample. Sound good" Naomi asked, laying out her plan.

Meredith and Derek nodded silently.

...

"Come in" Sam said absentmindedly when he heard a knock on his office door. He was trying to finish up some paperwork so he could leave work early. With Bizzy's wedding scheduled for tomorrow, Addison needed all the last minute help she could get.

"Hello stranger".

That voice sounded familiar; Sam knew that voice. Looking up he was surprised to see Derek Shepherd standing in the doorway. "Derek, what are you doing here" Sam asked him, getting up and walking around the desk to greet his longtime friend.

After giving Sam a hug, he said "Meredith and I are trying to have a baby but we're having some fertility issues. We came down to get a second opinion from the better looking Dr. Bennett" Derek joked.

"I see" Sam said, smiling for Derek's benefit. In reality, there was nothing to smile about. Just the thought of his ex-wife evoked a rage so deep and powerful inside him, it shook him to the core. He couldn't even look at her without seeing flashbacks of the smoldering look she gave Jordan. The only thing that kept him sane was staying busy and concentrating on Addison; that is when Naomi wasn't with Addison. He was in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful woman. He had to stop caring what or who his ex-wife did; Sam couldn't wait for the day when she no longer affected him. "Does Addison know you're here" Sam asked, keeping his thoughts hidden, his face neutral.

"Yep. Naomi made me call her before she agreed to meet with us" Derek said.

"I see" Sam said again.

"You see a lot" Derek said, stepping around Sam and plopping down on the couch. "I'll tell you what I didn't see coming; you and Addison" he said, not beating around the bush.

Sam froze. "Who told you"?

"Naomi. She didn't want to but I forced it out of her" Derek said.

Turning around, Sam sighed and rubbed his bald head. "Look, I know I should have called..." he started.

"You don't owe me an explanation" Derek said quickly, cutting him off. "I won't pretend that I like the situation but what Addison does no longer bothers me. I'm in love and remarried. Besides, if I can get past her sleeping with Mark while we were married, I can deal with her sleeping with you after our divorce".

"So, you're not upset" Sam asked, taking a seat on the other end of the couch.

"I'm more surprised than anything" Derek said.

"Why" Sam asked curiously.

"Because I thought Naomi was the love of you live" Derek said simply.

"Obviously not; I divorced her, remember" Sam reminded Derek, a little resentment peeking through his facade.

"People make mistakes...or suffer midlife crises" Derek hinted.

Sam smirked. "And what have I made a mistake about? Dating Addison or divorcing Na...my ex-wife" Sam stuttered; even saying her name angered him.

Derek noticed but didn't comment. "Both" he answered. "Don't get me wrong. Addison is a great woman and even though we're divorced, we had some good years. But I think if she and I were both honest with each other, we would have never gotten married. Addison and I were right for each other on paper but there was never that magic spark between us; not like with you and Naomi. What you guys had was special and very rare. Not only were you madly in love, you guys were best friends. I didn't understand how deep your connection was until I met Meredith. And frankly, I don't understand how you let her go or how she let you leave. As great as Addison is, and I wish nothing but the best for her, there's no way she can compete with that history".

'We had some good years' coursed through Sam's mind. Derek's speech vaguely reminded him of Naomi saying something similar about their divorce. "I respect what you're saying but I'm going to have to disagree with you. I'm not exactly sure where Addison and I will end up, but Naomi and I are over indefinitely. We've both moved on" Sam said, gritting his teeth to keep his face calm when he spoke his ex-wife's name.

"Are you sure" Derek asked, studying his old friend. Sam was doing a good job of keeping his face unreadable but his body was tense, too stiff. It was apparent that Naomi wasn't the only one hurting from this messy situation. Was Sam having regrets? Probably, but he was being too stubborn to admit it.

Sam wasn't sure but he would keep telling himself until he believed it, until it was true. "Yes".


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The small wedding ceremony had gone as planned; there were no hitches. Bizzy and Susan looked deliriously happy. Their love for each other permeated the small private balcony area of the Santa Monica country club, creating a soft romantic atmosphere. The flowers Addison picked were gorgeous; they scented the air with a sweet intoxicating smell. The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky. Naomi peered over the balcony, looking out at the golf course, as the sun began to set. The bright orange and pink hues, with little flecks of purple, were mesmerizing. Sighing, she turned around just in time to see one of the wedding guests walking in her direction.

"I thought you weren't coming" Naomi said, taking a sip of her champagne as Archer approached her.

"I changed my mind at the last minute. I saw it as a great opportunity to get out to the west coast, the land of the tan and beautiful" Archer said, knocking back his scotch.

"So, this is nothing more than a vacation for you" Naomi questioned, shaking her head.

"Basically. I missed California...and you" Archer smiled, giving his notorious compelling flirtatious glare. He reached up to stroke the side of Naomi's face but she slapped his hand down. "Oh come on beautiful, be nice".

"Considering the last time I saw you, you climbed out of my bed and disappeared, I think I'm being pretty damn nice" Naomi smiled venomously.

Archer stepped closer, invading Naomi's personal space. "Forgive me for I have sinned" he said mockingly. "Let me make it up to you, I promise I'll make it worth your while". Seductively, Archer's eyes began roaming over Naomi's figure. He couldn't believe how great her body looked in the bright form fitting floral print dress. She looked more breathtaking than she did two years ago; a nearly impossible feat, but she managed to pull it off.

Naomi laughed but there was no humor in her voice. Stopping abruptly, she looked Archer squarely in the eye. "Do I really seem that naive to you? Am I just supposed to fall right back into your arms with one look? Better yet, does our twenty year friendship before we had sex mean nothing to you? Do you really consider me nothing more than one of your common whores you've picked off the street? Because if that's the case, I don't appreciate it and you can go to hell".

"Whoa" exclaimed Archer, throwing his hands up and backing up a few steps. "Lighten up Naomi, when did you become so serious"?

"How come you can't ever be serious" Naomi asked.

Archer stopped joking and dropped his hands. "I really hurt you, didn't I" he asked genuinely.

"Yes, you did. But not for the reasons you think. You didn't break my heart, you damaged our friendship. I know you're a man whore who gets around and I really didn't expect anything from you but sex; and I was fine with that. But after your brain surgery, you pretended to change, made me believe you wanted more. Why couldn't you have just been honest with me? I thought you at least cared about me enough to not treat me like every other woman in your life".

"I wasn't pretending; I really liked you and wanted to be a better man for you. But Nae..." Archer shook his head. "It's just not in me. Look at the fucked up family I come from. My father was a womanizer who couldn't keep it in his pants and I resented him for it; and yet I grew up and became him. Then, in some sick twist of fate, it turns out my mom, who I thought was a victim, was just as guilty as the Captain. How the hell am I supposed to know what a healthy relationship is like when I come from a family like that"?

"You could have told me how you felt, admitted you weren't ready for a commitment. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I wasn't forcing you to be with me" Naomi said.

"No, you weren't. I just didn't want to admit that I failed, I didn't want to hurt you" Archer said, shrugging and taking another sip of his scotch.

"So, you sleep with Charlotte and then flee town. That makes so much sense" Naomi said, rolling her eyes.

"I told Addison not to tell you about that" Archer complained.

"She knew" Naomi asked, surprised. "She didn't tell me, Charlotte did. We've become really good friends recently and she felt it necessary to tell me. She didn't want a philandering man to destroy our newfound friendship".

"Look, I'm sorry Naomi okay?! I'm really truly deeply sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You're not just any woman, you're special. I care about you and I still want us to be able to call each other friends" Archer implored.

Naomi stared at him over her champagne glass, deciding whether to accept his apology or not. She kept quiet until she saw him start to fidget; that's when she knew his apology was real. Breaking out into a smile, she said "Of course I forgive you; I forgave you a long time ago; an apology is all I wanted. And a promise that next time something happens, you won't leave me hanging".

"I think I can handle that" Archer smiled, leaning in to give Naomi a hug.

Naomi hugged him back. Even though she had gotten over Archer's abrupt departure some time ago, it was still nice to get definitive closure. Letting go of baggage made her feel lighter.

"So about that something happening" Archer mentioned as he stepped back. "How about we make something happen right now" he said suggestively, grinning slyly.

Naomi hit him hard on the chest. "Seriously? You just got back in my good graces and you're taking it there" she asked frowning, but not taking him too seriously to be upset.

"Ouch" Archer yelled, rubbing his chest. "I wouldn't be me if I didn't try. I'm still a man and you're still a sexy woman Naomi".

"Thanks for the compliment, I think" Naomi smiled, despite herself. "But those days between us are long over and I'm not looking to relive them".

"Just twist the knife a little deeper" Archer said, pretending to be hurt.

"Oh please; I doubt you'll even make it back to your hotel room alone tonight, if you even make it back there. Why don't you stop pestering me and I don't know...actually go congratulate your mother and Susan" Naomi suggested.

"No thanks, I'll pass" Archer said.

"You're not happy for them" Naomi asked.

"Are you happy for Addison and Sam" he asked.

Naomi stood up straighter, stiffer. "I don't see how one relationship compares to the other" she hedged.

"I'll take that as a no" Archer deduced. "Don't worry, I love my sister but it won't last. She sucks at relationships almost as much as I do; we're two peas in a pod".

"What Sam and Addison do with their lives is none of my business" Naomi said defensively.

"Maybe not, but you care" Archer said.

"Of course I care, but I have no control over their emotions. I'm hurt, but I'm working on not being angry and I choose not to be bitter. I'm getting on with my life. I suggest you do the same with your mother" Naomi said, downing the rest of her champagne.

"Aaaah" Archer exclaimed, his eye lighting up. "That's the difference between me and you. I don't care. I could care less".

"Yeah right" Naomi said, doubting Archer's words.

"You two seem to be having a very interesting conversation" Jordan noted, as he walked up to them from seemingly nowhere.

"Jordan" Naomi said gleefully. "Where have you been? You missed the whole ceremony" she said, as he leaned down to kiss her.

"I know, I'm sorry. I got tied up at work. How did it go" Jordan asked, wrapping his arm around Naomi, kissing her lightly again.

"It was beautiful" Naomi said, leaning in to Jordan.

"So who's the black James Bond" Archer asked, intrigued.

Naomi had forgotten he was standing there. Rolling her eyes but smiling, she turned back to him. "Archer this is Jordan; and Jordan, this is the infamous Archer Montgomery".

"You mean Addison's brother, whom you nursed back to health after major brain surgery only for him to up and disappear? That Archer Montgomery" Jordan asked.

Laughing, Naomi nodded. "Yes, that Archer Montgomery. But that's all water under the bridge now".

"Glad to hear it, but you'll forgive me if I'm not as convinced" Jordan said, acknowledging Archer for the first time, a dangerous glare in his eyes.

"Doesn't bother me, I'm only worried about Naomi being convinced" Archer said.

"If you were smart, you'd be worried about what I think as well" Jordan warned.

"Hey man, relax. We're just two old friends catching up. I didn't even know you existed until now. No need to get your panties in a bunch" Archer said.

"Archer, stop instigating" Naomi chastised. "What's gotten into you" she asked Jordan concerned.

Ignoring her question, he addressed Archer's words instead. "Don't worry" Jordan said. "Insecure men love stirring up trouble; it's their attempt at proving how secure they're really not".

"Dude, what's your problem" Archer asked, turning red.

"I don't have one, unless you're volunteering to become one" Jordan said, letting go of Naomi and stepping closer to Archer.

"Okay, okay, that's enough" Naomi said, stepping between them. "Archer, I'm sorry". Turning to Jordan, she said "You...inside...NOW" she warned, not giving any room for an argument.

...

"I didn't know Naomi was dating someone" Derek said, standing next to Sam.

"Huh" Sam asked, knocking back his third gin and tonic, and requesting another from the bar.

"You're staring so hard, you can't even hear me. If you stare any harder, you're going to go blind as well" Derek predicted. He looked over at Sam's glass. "And you might want to slow down on the drinks".

"What are you talking about" Sam asked, playing dumb on both counts.

"Don't try to pull one over me. I don't want hear that you're looking at the golf course or admiring the sunset. You can't keep your eyes off of Naomi, admit it" Derek said.

"Where's your wife? Shouldn't you be bothering her" Sam asked, avoiding the subject.

"Believe it or not, she's over there talking to Addison; you know, where your eyes should be trained seeing as though you're in love with her and all" Derek said sarcastically.

Sam didn't hear Derek, he was too busy staring again. The world around him was beginning to look and feel hazy. But it seemed like Jordan and Archer were exchanging some heated words.

"Wonder what that's about; probably Archer being an ass as usual" Derek said, looking back in Naomi's direction once Sam failed to respond.

Sam didn't think so. His brain was fuzzy, but to Sam, Jordan seemed like the aggressor; in general he looked on edge. His suspicions were confirmed when Naomi directed Jordan back into the country club, leaving Archer staring after them looking completely bewildered. However, Sam didn't share his thoughts with Derek; he didn't want to give his friend more material to tease him with. "Who cares" he said, trying to appear nonchalant, knocking back another drink.

"You do" Derek said point blank.

"Whatever" Sam mumbled, walking away from the harassment, a fresh drink in his hand.

...

"What the hell is your problem" Naomi questioned Jordan.

"Nothing" he said.

"Nothing my ass. You were trying to pick a fight out there" Naomi said.

"I was trying to protect you. How can you forgive that guy so easily after what he did to you" Jordan asked, his anger rising again.

"I told you, I don't need protecting. I've known Archer for over twenty years. If he says he's sorry, I believe him because he never apologizes for anything. But I shouldn't even have to explain that to you; you should trust my judgment" Naomi argued.

"Why the hell should I trust your judgment? Good judgment tells me we should be together and yet it's been over a week and you still haven't given me an answer to my question. Do you want to be with me or not" Jordan asked, raising his voice.

Naomi sighed. "Jordan, I told you I needed time to think which I haven't been able to do lately. You know I've been helping Addison plan this wedding" she said.

"Classic avoidance" Jordan said. "You could barely look at or talk to Addison for months and now you spend all your time with her. Are you telling me that it's just coincidental that this happened after I asked you to be with me"?

"Yes! I had no control over Susan getting sick or Bizzy wanting to get married. I know Addison and I have our issues, but I still care about her. Don't act like you never knew that. Jordan, what's wrong? First you pick a fight with Archer, now you're picking one with me. Talk to me, we're supposed to be able to tell each other anything" Naomi begged, softening her voice. Slowly, she walked toward him, laid her hand on his chest.

Jordan exhaled deeply; he wrapped his hands around Naomi's waist and pulled her close. "I'm sorry" he whispered. "I'm just stressed. I wasn't completely honest when I told you why I was late to the wedding".

"What is it" Naomi asked, laying her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"It's my son Jacob. My mother called and told me he finally wants to see me after nearly two years. I'm catching the last flight out of LAX to London tonight. I didn't know how to tell you because I don't want to leave you, especially when the status of our relationship is so up in the air. It makes me nervous. But this is my son, he has to come first" Jordan explained, holding Naomi tighter.

"Oh Jordan, he finally called' Naomi said excitedly."I understand, you have to go, you have to be there for him".

"I'm scared, I don't know what to say to him after all this time" Jordan admitted.

"You're his father, you love him. It will come to you" Naomi assured.

"I hope so" Jordan said.

"So, what does this mean for us? Are you coming back" Naomi asked, starting to inwardly panic.

"I don't have any answers. I have to go home first and access the situation. As long as Jacob wants me around, I won't leave him" Jordan said.

"I'll miss you" Naomi said, sadness starting to sink in.

"I'll miss you too, but I promise, this isn't the end for us. Will you promise me one thing while I'm gone" Jordan asked.

"What"?

"Promise me you'll truly think about us and what we could be. I mean really think, with your heart, and not with your mind. I don't want fear to make the decision for you. And if you decide you want to be with me, we'll make it work no matter what the circumstances are. And if you don't want a relationship, you want to remain friends, I'll accept that too. All I ask if that you think about it from every angle, even if that means exploring your feelings for other people, before you make up your mind" Jordan explained.

Naomi read between the lines, understood exactly what he was saying. Not only did he want her to make a decision about them, Jordan wanted her to be sure about her feelings, or lack thereof, for Sam. "I promise" she said quietly, snuggling deeper into his chest.

"I have to go".

"Now" Naomi asked surprised.

"Yes, I only came her long enough to tell you about Jacob. I'm driving to the airport straight from here" Jordan said, using all his strength to step away from her.

"Well, have a safe flight and please call me when you land" Naomi requested.

"I will, I promise" Jordan said, turning around to leave.

"Aren't you at least going to give me a goodbye kiss" Naomi implored.

"I want to but if I did, I might never leave" Jordan said honestly. "This is the best I can offer" he said, leaning down and giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. "See you later" he whispered, before turning around and leaving while his legs still worked.

"See you later" Naomi whispered after him. She watched him walk down the long hall and disappear through a pair of French doors before she turned back around. Sam was standing there with a glass, probably filled with gin and tonic, staring at her.

"Trouble in paradise" he asked, his words slurring a little.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me" Naomi replied, her guard going up.

"You ignored me first, I thought I would return the favor" Sam said, holding his glass up to her in a toast.

"How much have you had to drink" Naomi asked.

"Not nearly enough".

"I'd beg to differ" Naomi disagreed, walking up to Sam and reaching for his glass.

Sam moved it out of her reach. "Hey, get your own" he complained, raising his voice.

"Sam, listen to me. You're drunk. You need to put down the glass and walk it off. Do you need me to get you a cup of coffee" Naomi suggested, concerned. She couldn't remember the last time Sam had appeared this drunk.

"I'll tell you what I need" Sam said, grabbing Naomi and pushing her up against the nearest wall, holding her body there by pressing his against hers. In the process, he dropped his glass; the lush carpet padded the fall and kept it from breaking into a million fragments.

"What the hell are you doing" Naomi asked, hotly. She tried to break her ex-husband's hold on her but he was too strong and too drunk to listen to reason. Her heartbeat sped up as his face came closer to hers. "Let me go" she begged.

His face was so close to Naomi's; he could rub his nose against hers if he wanted. "I saw you that day" he slurred.

"What day, what are you talking about" Naomi asked, still trying to break free, though it was clearly hopeless.

"The day you screwed Jordan in your office. I saw the way you looked at him; it made me remember when you used to look at me that way" Sam whispered in Naomi's ear.

Naomi temporarily stopped fighting. That explained so much. "Is that why you've been avoiding me"?

The truth serum that was alcohol had Sam answering questions without hesitation. He had answers to questions his sober brain wouldn't even contemplate. "Yes, I was furious at you for looking at him like that. And I couldn't bear to look at you without doing this..." he said, leaning in.

Naomi wanted to move her face but the look in Sam's eyes paralyzed her. She watched as his lips moved closer and covered hers. The sensation that coursed through her body at that moment scared her so badly; she automatically began to fight him off again. She beat his chest with her fists and all her might, tried to turn her face away from him. But he simply just pinned her arms to her side and deepened the kiss, capturing her lips between his. With every second that passed, old memories and feelings began to flood Naomi's brain and body and suddenly she didn't feel like fighting anymore. Completely giving in, she opened her mouth and willing received his hot wet kisses, allowed him to dip and probe his tongue between her lips. More seconds passed and soon Naomi found herself kissing him back with equal passion and fervor. A small moan escaped her lips; Sam had always been a good kisser, but she'd forgotten just how good he kissed. His tongue made love to her mouth almost as good as his penis used to make love to her vagina. With each passing second, she was falling further down the rabbit whole, and not even remotely looking for a way to climb out. Sam's kiss was paralyzing her mind, her ability to think.

"Mmm-mmm".

Naomi and Sam's lips broke apart when they heard the noise. Violet was standing there looking shell-shocked but she pulled it together long enough to say; "Susan just collapsed on the dance floor. She's not breathing. Addison needs you Sam".


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"How's my baby" Naomi cooed as she looked down on her granddaughter. Sitting up in her playpen, Olivia had just woken up from her late nap and was rubbing her eyes with her chubby little fists. Disoriented and still sleepy, she began to cry. Naomi leaned over and picked Olivia up, soothing her by talking softly and rubbing her back as she walked around the living room. Olivia buried her face in her grandmother's chest as she began to calm down. Naomi held her close, receiving as much comfort as she gave.

The last week had been a whirlwind of events; some good and some bad. While Addison was able to remove Susan's cancer, it had still been too late. The cancer had spread and attached to other organs, causing her to collapse at the wedding. Susan didn't even make it through the night before she succumbed to her illness. Bizzy had been so devastated, she was found dead in her hotel room the next morning. Addison insisted it was a heart attack but Naomi knew the truth. Charlotte was the chief at St. Ambrose hospital and had confided in her about the results from the autopsy; Bizzy had committed suicide. Naomi didn't press Addison about the details though; she had shut down and Naomi didn't want her to retreat even further into herself with an interrogation. With Addison's personal tragedy at hand, the office had shut down for the week and all of the doctors had traveled to Connecticut to support her. Naomi wanted to be there as well to support Addison and Archer at the funeral; but she and Sam had made a prior commitment to watch Olivia while Maya went on a cross-county college tour. After becoming pregnant, Maya had transitioned into home schooling and had excelled. She would be graduating in a few months, a full year ahead of schedule. Naomi was so proud of her; there was no way she could deny her daughter a chance to explore schools when she had worked so hard despite having a child so young. So, she had stayed behind to care for her granddaughter.

The last few days in solitary with Olivia had been pure bliss. It gave her a chance to stop thinking, to stop worrying; Naomi desperately needed that mental rest more than she had realized. For the first time in months, she could just relax. She hadn't been so at ease since her time with Jordan in Tahiti; thinking about him, a small pang formed in her gut. She missed him; he was the only person who had kept her sane in recent months. Now, she would have to figure out how to stay centered on her own. Life was getting ready to start back up again at full force. With the exception of Addison, everyone was back in town. In the next hour, she would be taking Olivia over to Sam's house so he could take over on grandparent duties. Naomi hadn't seen him since he drunkenly kissed her at the wedding; nor had she seen Violet, who had caught them in the compromising situation. The only communication that existed between Naomi and her ex-husband presently was text messaging, and the only subjects were about Maya and Olivia; she was currently waiting on a text message to inform her it was okay to take the baby to him.

"You ready to go see grandpa" Naomi asked, bouncing Olivia up and down as she continued to walk around the room. The baby didn't say anything but she grabbed Naomi tighter, trying to get more comfortable against her chest. "Yeah, me neither" Naomi whispered.

...

"Okay, everything you need should be in her bag. I'm pretty sure I packed everything but you can never be completely certain with babies; their things spread everywhere. If I forgot to pack something, just let me know and I'll bring it to the office the next day. I think that about covers it" Naomi said hurriedly, trying to make her interaction with Sam as limited as possible. Avoiding making eye contact, she looked everywhere but into his face.

"You forgot one thing" Sam said.

"What" Naomi asked.

"The baby. You handed me her bag but you didn't give me Olivia" Sam said, choking back a small laugh.

Naomi looked down at her arms and sure enough, Olivia was there grinning up at her like it was some big game. "Oh, sorry; here you go" she said sheepishly, handing the baby over but being careful not to touch Sam. "Well, I'll see you at work tomorrow" Naomi said quickly, already backing away from the door.

"Naomi, it can't be like this, not anymore. We need to talk, just get it out on the table. Please come in and talk to me for a few minutes" Sam asked politely. The last week had given him a little clarity. With Addison's mother dying so suddenly and so tragically, it made Sam realize that he needed to express any feelings he had on his chest before it was too late; that meant confronting his feelings for his ex-wife. He didn't know what was going on between them but he could no longer deny that something was happening. He, nor Naomi, would be able to function properly until they faced their dilemma head on.

She desperately wanted to walk away, to continue to act like everything was normal, but things were far from normal. For once Naomi agreed with Sam; they needed to talk. "I guess I can spare a few minutes".

"Great. Let me just put Olivia to bed upstairs and I'll be right back" Sam said, holding the door for Naomi to enter.

"It might take a little longer. She just woke up from a nap about an hour ago" Naomi admitted. "I tried to keep her up, but she was so tired".

"Looks like she's still tired" Sam said, looking at Olivia resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she does. I guess the park took more out of her than both of us realized" Naomi said, reaching out to stroke the baby's cheek.

"Make yourself at home" Sam said, heading up the stairs. "I'll be back in a minute.

Naomi looked around the house; everywhere she looked there was a memory. The foyer reminded her of the night she'd shown up on Sam's doorstep asking if they could go back to the way they were. The next day, he and Addison had ripped the practice from her control; should she have seen that as a case of foreshadowing? Naomi walked further into the house, came face to face with the couch. They had fucked, not made love, but fucked for hours on that couch; it was angry sex. She'd been so hurt and angry with Sam over the practice but she'd still wanted him. Turning around, she stared at kitchen; all she could remember now was Sam dodging Maya's questions about them getting back together. That's when Naomi knew it was truly over between her and Sam; no matter how much history they shared, no matter how much they loved each other, Sam would never be ready to recommit to her. He enjoyed his freedom too much, or at least he had until Addison. Who knew how many memories they had made between these very same walls, on the very same furniture. There was nowhere inside Sam's house Naomi could make herself comfortable. Heading towards the back door, she slid open the screen door and walked onto the backyard patio. Walking to the end, she sat down on top of the steps that led to the beach and Pacific Ocean beyond. Closing her eyes, she let the warm breezy air caress her face and inhaled the salty water smell, letting both relax her.

"I figured you'd wander out here" Sam said, walking up behind her, disrupting her newfound serenity. "And I brought a bottle of white wine before you could even ask" he said, showing the bottle and two glasses he held in his hand.

"You think you know me so well" Naomi said.

"I do" he said confidently.

"You used to" Naomi corrected.

"No, I still do" he said, unscrewing the cork and pouring her a glass of wine. "Here you go" he said, offering it to her.

Naomi hesitated before she accepted it. "Thank you".

"No problem" he said, pouring himself a glass and sitting next to her.

Silence fell between them for a few minutes. They both looked out into the distance, watching the waves crash onto the sandy shore. "So about Bizzy's wedding..." Sam started.

"Don't worry about it" Naomi said cutting him off. "I realize you had too much to drink and probably got confused. It was a mistake, I get it. No hard feelings" she rationalized.

Sam was quiet for a minute. "I might have had a few too many Naomi, but I was definitely in my right mind" he said in such a low voice, Naomi was sure she heard him wrong.

"You most definitely were NOT in your right mind Sam. Why the hell would you kiss me if you were in your right mind" Naomi asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Why wouldn't I? We were married for over a decade. Just because we got a divorce doesn't mean you magically turned into a toad; in fact I think you're even more beautiful today than when I first met you" Sam confessed.

Naomi set her wine glass down, exhaled a deep frustrating breath. "Sam, you can't say things like that. Why do you continue to mess with me? I've gotten tired of tiptoeing around you these past few weeks. But when you say things like that, ask me uncomfortable questions, I don't see any other options. Why can't we just work on getting back to the divorced best friends we used to be" she asked.

"I'm not messing with you. I'm just speaking my mind. Admit it Naomi; as much as we both have feverishly tried to deny it, there's a spark between us that refuses to die" Sam said, also setting his glass down.

"That's not true" Naomi said too quickly to be believable.

"It is true and you know it. Stop acting like this is one-sided Naomi. You put up a good fight, but if memory serves my drunken mind correctly, you kissed me back...passionately" Sam said, a small grin lifting his lips on one side.

"It didn't mean anything, it was just nostalgia. Like you said, we were married for a long time. But it was a mistake and it won't happen again" Naomi explained.

Sam scooted closer to her, leaned into her personal space. "So you're telling me you felt nothing? That if I was to kiss you again, right now, you would stop me" he asked, his voice dropping an octave.

"Yes" Naomi said, barely able to force the word between her lips.

"Let's test that theory" Sam suggested.

"Sam..." Naomi didn't have time to get any more words out before Sam's lips crashed against hers. Her hands automatically rose with the intention of pushing him away; but her mind and body were playing tug-of-war, and her body won the battle. Instead of pushing him away as she'd intended, her hands grabbed him and pulled him closer. Her mouth opened with ease as she began kissing him back, every ounce of passion draining from her and pouring into him. Kissing him was making her feel alive; it was like discovering fresh air after breathing in smog for years. Sam's lips excited her, sent tiny currents everywhere they touched tingling through her body. He pulled her onto his lap and Naomi went willingly, straddling him without thinking. Her breasts felt swollen and full against his chest, her nipples at full attention. Her nostrils flared and her lips became puffy and swelled the more aroused she became. For the life of her, she couldn't stop kissing him. Lost in a whirl of emotion and excitement, Naomi barely noticed when Sam pulled her shirt over her head or unsnapped her bra; she was barely aware of her actions when she removed his shirt. All she noticed was the sensation of his mouth moving in sync with hers, the probe of his tongue, the way he nibbled and sucked on her lips, his fingers running through her hair, him grabbing her face and pulling her closer. Naomi's immense arousal had her unconsciously moving and gyrating against his lap; Sam's lower regions began to stir beneath her. He grew long and hard, applying pressure to her most sensitive area through their clothes. His mouth was moving down her neck, across her chest. As Naomi held onto him by his neck, her eyes blinked open for a couple of seconds. Her vision narrowed in on Sam's beach house looming behind them and next to it...Addison's house. That was enough to snap her out of it; her brain began functioning again.

"No, no, no" she shouted. "We have to stop" Naomi exclaimed, pushing away from him and snapping her bra back in place before it fell off.

"Wha...what? Why" Sam asked confused and disoriented, still caught in cloud of lust.

"What do you mean, why" Naomi asked, her anger rising. "We're divorced Sam. And you're with Addison. This isn't right; I don't want to be this type of person, I'm not this type of person" she said, looking around the dimly lit patio for her shirt.

"So, you're just going to walk away and pretend nothing happened" Sam asked, his own aggravation surfacing.

"Yes" Naomi confirmed. "What else am I supposed to do"?

Sam reached out and grabbed Naomi, forcing her stay still and look at him. "Stop living in denial and admit there's still something between us. It's not just nostalgia Naomi. You can't kiss me like that and tell me you don't feel more".

"What does it matter? Will me telling you that I still love you change anything? Will you leave Addison for me? Or would you expect me to go from being your wife to the other woman? What the hell do you want from me Sam" Naomi screamed in agonizing frustration.

"I want to know how you feel" Sam said, pulling Naomi close again, tracing a finger down her bare shoulder. "Stop throwing everything back at me and tell me how YOU feel. What would you be willing to do if I told you I still loved you" Sam whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

Naomi tried to back away, but Sam followed her. For some reason, she couldn't unstick her lips from Sam's lips. His kisses were like potato chips; she couldn't just have one. But she tried to stop; she kept backing up until the back of her thighs hit a table and she fell on top of it. Before her back could even hit the tabletop, Sam's body was covering hers. Her bra was being removed again; this time he managed to get it all the way off and fling it across the porch. Naomi felt her jeans being unzipped and unbuttoned; they were quickly approaching the point of no return. "No" she screamed. Pushing against him with all her strength, she begged "Please Sam, get off of me".

Sam groaned but rolled off of Naomi and stood up. "You're making this so difficult. Stop over thinking Naomi; we both want this".

"Sex was never our problem; having sex won't prove anything" Naomi said, sitting up. Her chest was heaving up and down from frustration and arousal. She covered her bare chest with her arms and tried to regain her breath.

"Why are you fighting against this so hard" Sam asked. "Why is it so hard to admit your feelings?"

Angry tears spilled over Naomi's lower lids. Not caring about her exposed skin she dropped her hands and scooted off the table. How could he not get it? He was supposed to be able read her thoughts; he was supposed to know her better than anybody. Bending over, she picked up her shirt and pulled it back on without worrying about her bra. She had to get out of there.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere until you answer me" Sam said, blocking Naomi's exit. "Talk to me" he demanded.

"You left me" she yelled, the tears coming faster now. "You woke up one day out the blue and decided I wasn't good enough; you didn't break my heart, you shattered it. And now you want me to admit I still have feelings for you...now...while you're dating my best friend. You must live to torture me".

Sam was fed up. "I am so sick of you playing the victim" he shouted. "You act like you're the only one who got hurt during our divorce. Why didn't you fight for me to stay"?

"Why should I have to beg my husband to stay? To love me? It's in the vows Sam, you were supposed to love me without me telling you to do so" Naomi shot back.

"Did it ever occur to you that I wasn't sure if you still loved me? You let me go so easily, like getting a divorce was no big deal. You handled it like it was just another day at the office" Sam said, pain burning in his eyes.

Naomi shook her head sadly. "You'd already shattered my heart; I wasn't going give you the benefit of seeing how broken you left me".

Sam sighed. "Look, we can't change the past. I know that the majority of the blame is on me and I'm truly sorry Nae. I just want you to know that I didn't take our divorce lightly; it wasn't as easy for me as you think. And I've never been sure I made the right decision" he said, speaking in a softer, calmer manner.

"And I don't mean to keep dredging up the past but it felt like you were sure to me Sam. It felt final" Naomi replied.

"If it felt so final, why do we keep gravitating back towards each other? This is not exactly our first trip around the old block, so to speak" Sam said, touching Naomi's face, wiping away her remaining tears.

"Old habits are hard to break" Naomi concluded.

"Or maybe the love between us is still there" Sam countered.

"You want to know how I feel; well, here it is". Naomi stepped closer to Sam, lightly touched his cheek. "A part of me will always love you. When you share the deep connection we once had, it can never be completely destroyed. But the trust between us is broken. I don't know if I would ever feel confident in knowing you wouldn't leave again" Naomi confessed.

"How do we know anything unless we try" Sam pointed out.

"And where does Addison fit into this equation? You keep glossing over that situation but you can't keep ignoring it. And you can't expect me to just magically get over the fact that you're dating her, and having sex with her just because you claim to still have feelings for me" Naomi responded.

"I'm not glossing over my relationship with Addison but this situation isn't about her, it's about us" Sam said.

"But your involvement with her affects us. For God's sake Sam, I'm barely on speaking terms with either of you because you just had to date her. As much as I hate you two together, I'm not about to play the role of a home-wrecker; especially when I used to be your wife. You keep wanting to figure us out, but you need to go figure you and her out "Naomi said, shaking her head and looking down at the ground.

"Naomi..." Sam started.

"The truth is we're not healthy for each other, not anymore. As much passion that still exists between us, we seem to cause each other equal amounts of pain. You being with Addison hurts me; and apparently my involvement with Jordan has hurt you. We need to move on, let each other go for real this time" Naomi said quietly.

Sam wrapped his arms around Naomi's waist. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to let you go" he admitted.

"I don't know if I will be able to either, but we have to try. This routine of falling back together when other things in our life goes wrong has got to stop; It's an endless cycle that gets us nowhere".

"But how" Sam asked desperately. "Just looking at you right now, I can't help but wanting to touch you, kiss you, live inside you" he admitted in a low husky voice.

Naomi's breath hitched. She looked at Sam's lips, fully aware of what they could do to her body. It was so hard to resist him; that was one of the many reasons she hadn't wanted to admit she still had feelings for her ex-husband. Self-control was not an easy feat around him. Even now, she felt her body leaning in closer to him. Their lips were dangerously close to meeting again when a screeching cry came through a nearby baby monitor. Olivia was awake and needed attention; her precious granddaughter had saved her. "You should check on the baby, and I should go" she said backing away.

"No, please stay. We need to finish talking" Sam pleaded.

"I think we're done" Naomi said turning around. Seeing her bra flung on a patio chair, she grabbed it and walked through the gate on the side of the house towards her car. Sam watched her leave, frozen for a minute, before he could manage to pick up his feet and go check on Olivia.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry it took me so long to update. I was out of town and came home sick. Still recovering. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I wanted to post something for you guys so I've had to restrategize my story line a bit. So here it is, I hope yall like it. And reviews, good and bad, are always welcome :) Thanks for all the support from my loyal readers, you know who you are. :D**

Chapter Nineteen

As soon as the elevators door opened, Naomi stepped inside. Each time she reentered her life at the practice, it felt more and more foreign to her. What used to feel like home now felt like some weird alternative universe where everything was the opposite of what it should be. Naomi was beginning to dread coming to Oceanside Wellness Center. This was the first time she'd been to the office in three weeks. The first week was due to Addison's family tragedy. The following two weeks she'd been out of the country on foundation business. Naomi had never been more thankful to receive a call than the night she returned from Sam's house. She was just wondering how she was supposed to get through the next business day when her cell phone rang; one of the board members who helped run the day to day operations of the foundation called and implored her to get on the next available flight to Zurich. There were new medical advances a group of doctors were making and they were looking for financial backers; the board member insisted that their foundation should jump on this venture while it was still on the ground floor. Seeing as though Naomi had to sign off on any money funded to research studies, she had felt obligated to go. The fact that she could get some distance from the practice and Sam had been a bonus; that man was forever complicating her life. When would he stop? Better yet, when would she stop loving him? He'd forced her true feelings for him to the surface and now she was having a hard time repressing them. Additionally, admitting her feelings for Sam did not erase her new but very real feelings for Jordan. Was it possible to be in love with two men? Naomi didn't want to delve too deep for the answer; it would already make her messy love life messier.

"Hold the elevator" Pete shouted, running towards the moving metal doors.

Pressing the button to keep the doors open, Naomi watched Pete sprint onto the elevator. "Good morning. I take it you're running late for something" she guessed.

"Good morning" he greeted, slightly winded. "No, I actually was trying to catch you before you reached the office. I wanted to warn you" Pete said.

Naomi's heart sped up. "About what" she asked nervously, her eyes opening wider.

"My wife is on the warpath. I don't know what for; strangely she won't tell me, but she's been dying to talk to you ever since Addison's mother's wedding. I thought I was going to have to tie her down to keep her from showing up on your doorstep last night" Pete explained.

Sighing, Naomi pinched the bridge of her nose. She'd forgotten Violet had caught her and Sam kissing. If she was so riled up over that kiss, Naomi could only imagine how she would react to her and Sam's night on the beach. "Thanks Pete" she said, not looking forward to the inevitable conversation that was looming ahead.

"That bad, huh" Pete said, studying Naomi's body language. "Are you going to tell me what all of this is about"?

"No" Naomi said simply and directly.

"Alright" Pete said; he was never one to push. "But on a better note, it's good to see you. We miss you around here when you're gone for so long".

"Thanks Pete, I missed you too" Naomi said as the elevator doors opened on her floor. Stepping off, she looked back over her shoulder and added "and thanks for the warning".

"No problem. Violet's my wife and I love her dearly, but you're still my friend and I love you too" Pete said.

There was a type of love Naomi could deal with; a platonic love that was easy and uncomplicated; a love that held no serious ramifications. "I love you too Pete" she smiled as the doors closed, separating them.

Taking a deep breath, Naomi tried to brace herself as she rounded the corner and walked towards her office. She fully expected to see Violet waiting at her office door. So, when she saw Charlotte standing there, Naomi was pleasantly surprised and felt somewhat relieved.

"Charlotte" Naomi exclaimed, grinning broadly.

"Hey lady" Charlotte smiled, giving Naomi a hug. "Welcome back. I came to see how you were doing and also to be nosy. How was your trip" she asked.

Hugging Charlotte back, she answered "It was really good actually". Walking into her office, she motioned for Charlotte to follow. "You'll never guess who I ran into" Naomi teased, setting her belongings down on the desk.

"Who" Charlotte asked.

Just as Naomi was about to answer, Violet stormed in through the open office door and made direct eye contact. "Did you sleep with him" she asked, skipping a greeting or any form of pleasantry.

"What? Who? What the hell is going on" Charlotte asked, confused and thrown off by Violet's abrupt entrance.

"Charlotte, this is between Naomi and me. Can you excuse us" Violet asked.

Naomi sat on the edge of her desk, holding back her anger. "No, she can stay. If you didn't want her to hear this, you should have made sure I was alone" she said.

Violet hesitated; she really wanted to speak to Naomi in private. She briefly considered coming back at a later time. But she was too agitated to wait. "Fine. Then I'll ask you again, did you sleep with Sam"?

"Sam" Charlotte shouted, surprised. "What the hell is she talking about Naomi" she asked, her head turning back in forth between the two ladies.

"Oh, your new best friend didn't tell you about the full on make out session I caught her and Sam having at Bizzy's wedding" Violet asked sarcastically. "I went to find him right after Susan collapsed and found them all over each other".

"Is that true" Charlotte asked.

Naomi folded her arms across her chest. "What's true is that I was trying to help a very drunk Sam. But instead of accepting my help, he pinned me against a wall. If you had walked in a minute earlier, you would have seen me trying to fight him off of me. He kissed me, I didn't kiss him and I definitely didn't sleep with him" she said. Visions of the beach flashed through Naomi's head.

"Even if what you're saying is true, I saw the end of that kiss. You were kissing him back. I hate to think what would have happened if I hadn't interrupted you" Violet argued.

Naomi stood up and walked around her desk. Sitting down in her chair, she looked up and sighed. "Look, it was a knee-jerk reaction. I was married to the man; I got caught in the moment. But it was just a moment, that's all" she said.

Subconsciously, Violet and Charlotte followed her and sat in the chairs on the other side of her desk. "A moment" Violet repeated, looking skeptical.

"Is there an echo in here" Naomi retorted. "Yes, a moment" she said firmly, trying not to fidget.

"What aren't you telling us" Charlotte asked intuitively. "Something else happened, didn't it"?

Naomi closed her eyes and leaned her head against the chair; it was too early in the morning to be talking about this. But one thing Violet and Charlotte had in common was their tenacity. They wouldn't leave her alone until they got answers. Opening her eyes, she said "Sam and I share a not so distant deep-rooted history. A history like that doesn't disappear overnight or even a few years. Unexpected things are bound to happen, feelings are bound to linger. However, that doesn't mean I have to or even want to act on those feelings".

Violet and Charlotte looked at Naomi like she had just spoken another language. She was being so elusive; something was definitely going on. "That has to the vaguest response I have ever heard you give" Charlotte said. "Naomi, what is going on with you? You're among friends, tell us".

"Fine" Naomi sighed, realizing it would be easier to give in now rather than later. "There was a...incident right before I left for Zurich. I dropped Olivia over Sam's house after he got back from Connecticut and he invited me in to have a conversation. The goal was to resolve the recent tension between us but the opposite happened. Things sort of...got carried away".

"What do you mean, carried away" Violet asked. "Did you sleep with him"?

"Would you stop asking me that" Naomi nearly shouted. "No, I didn't sleep with him...but we came close. He had me half undressed before I came to my senses" she admitted.

"What" Violet exclaimed. "How could you do that to Addison"?

Naomi turned towards Violet, furious. "You're seriously pissing me off Violet. I didn't do shit to Addison and I don't owe her anything. Sam has been the one pursuing me. I've done my best to keep him at bay but I'm only human, I could only resist him for so long. It's not like he's some stranger off the street or my best friend's ex-husband. He's Sam, the man I shared half my life with; and yet I still managed to walk away. If anything, she should thank me. You have no idea how much will power it took to walk away not only for my sake, but for hers" Naomi spewed, feeling defensive and hurt.

Violet looked surprised. "I thought..."

"You thought that just because I don't like them together that I would be vindictive enough to come between them or break them up" Naomi said, finishing Violet's thought for her. "What kind of person do you think I am? Even though you haven't admitted it, I realize you and Addison have become closer in my absence. You can stop feeling guilty about it; I don't have a problem with it. She's not a bad person; I couldn't have been best friends with her for twenty years if she was. But what I do have a problem with is you treating me like the enemy or assuming that I can't be rational and be friends with you because we had differing opinions about Addison's relationship. Stop using me growing closer to Charlotte as a scapegoat; I haven't treated you any differently. You're the one who has been ignoring my phone calls. I went to you, not Charlotte, when I opened up about my feelings initially. If I didn't consider you a friend, why would I do that"? By the time Naomi finished, she was panting, the rage inside leaving her short of breath.

Violet was stricken, seemingly unaware of her actions until just now. The guilt she had been trying to repress only burned stronger now. Her goal had been to stay neutral but she'd mistakenly overcompensated for Addison and neglected Naomi. "I'm sorry" Violet said quietly, not able to find better words to describe her deep regret.

Naomi didn't respond. Her emotions were too near the surface for her to continue speaking without crying.

Charlotte had remained quiet, but now she studied Naomi closer. There were so many conflicting emotions on her face. She was obviously hurt and angered by Violet's attack on her character but there was more. A sense of confusion and indecision resided in facial features. The quiet tension filled air made Charlotte wonder if she should ask, but she wanted to know. "You're still in love with Sam, aren't you? That's why Violet accusing you of being vindictive cuts especially deep".

Tears automatically began to fall. Choking back sobs, Naomi nodded. Sniffling she said "It's been nearly three years and I still can't get that man out of my system. I tried but Sam kept pushing me, kept making me feel uncomfortable. He said we could no longer pretend there wasn't still a spark between us. I tried to deny it but the next thing I knew he was kissing me and I was kissing him back; I couldn't stop. Ironically, the only thing that saved me was seeing Addison's house. It reminded me of all the pain and arguments we've endured, of how he was dating my former best friend. It reminded me that I don't want to be a cheater or a mistress regardless of the situation; that as his former wife I deserved better. I told him that he needed to figure out his relationship with Addison first before trying to explore what existed between us. But ultimately, I realized that as much as we will always love each other, the trust is gone; we're not good for each other anymore. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was walk away that night; it would have been so easy to just give in but I did the right thing, I walked away".

Charlotte walked around the desk and enveloped Naomi in a comforting hug. Forcing her to stand up, they walked over the couch and sat down. Charlotte held her and rocked with her until she calmed down. With her arm still around Naomi, she asked "Have you seen Sam since then"?

"No" Naomi whispered. "And I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I do".

Quietly, Violet walked over to the couch and sat down on Naomi other side. Placing a hand softly on her knee, Violet said "I'm so sorry Nae. I didn't realize how unresolved things were between you and Sam. I figured you were dragging your feet with Jordan because you were scared, not because Sam was holding you back. And I'm so sorry I've been too busy letting my own ego and insecurities get in the way to be the friend you needed".

Naomi grabbed her hand and squeezed it; she wasn't one to hold grudges...most of time. "As long as you are here now" she said squeezing harder. "I didn't realize Sam was holding me back. And now that he's forced all these feelings to the surface, I'm having a hard time repressing them".

"Why are men such assholes" Violet asked rhetorically. "Regardless of what happens between you two, it's clear that Sam's heart isn't with Addison anymore, maybe it never was in an 'I'm in love with you' sense. Maybe it was just lust mistaken for love because of their previous friendship. Either way, he clearly doesn't need to be with her. I guess you were right Charlotte" she admitted, eating humble pie.

Charlotte let a small smile slip briefly across her face. However, she was equally troubled by Sam's actions. She had long suspected that Sam was still in love with Naomi but why was he choosing to pursue her before breaking up with Addison was a mystery. And how did Sam's confessions of love affect Naomi's relationship with Jordan? "So what do these new revelations mean for you and Jordan" Charlotte asked, echoing her thoughts.

"I don't know. All I know is that I miss him like crazy. I'm almost certain that I'm in love with him too" Naomi confessed. "Sam just ruins everything" she complained, blowing out a frustrating breath.

"Better him than me" a voice from the doorway sounded.

Naomi's spine jerked as she sat up straight, causing Charlotte's arm to slip from her shoulders. Looking towards the door, one word left her lips. "Fife..."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Hello Naomi" Fife said, that all too familiar smirk on his face.

"Gabriel! Wh...what are you doing here" Naomi blurted out. This morning couldn't have been any more unpredictable.

"Isn't it obvious? I came to see you".

"I thought you never wanted to see me again. You yelled at me and then rolled out of my life".

"Rolled? Really Nae" Fife asked.

"You know what I meant. I'm going to ask you again. What are you doing here" Naomi asked, standing up and walking towards him.

Fife just stared at her, studied her, but he didn't speak. Quite honestly, he didn't know how to feel about seeing Naomi again. Their ending had been anything but smooth and resolved, but he hadn't known how to deal with their situation any other way. Even if he had stayed, Fife instinctively knew Naomi would never truly be his. If not for William, something or, more specifically, someone would still have interfered. He'd decided to cut his losses before the inevitable happened; and not being one for long drawn out goodbyes, he'd done it in the most abrupt manner possible. Obviously, he'd made the right decision. He'd just interrupted a conversation about Naomi's convoluted love life; men would always be lying in the weeds hoping to catch her, including her ex-husband. Fife was only interested in fighting battles he could win. Yet, he briefly wondered if he should have stuck around. The romantic sap buried deep inside him reasoned even the shortened amount of time with her might have been worth it. In some ways, she'd forever changed him, made him a better person, in the year they'd worked together.

"You know what? This seems like a private conversation; why don't Violet and I leave you two to talk" Charlotte said, rising from the couch. She looked back at Violet who looked hesitant to leave. Nudging her until she responded, Charlotte quickly left the office with Violet on her heels.

Naomi nearly panicked, wishing her friends would remain in the room. But Charlotte was right; she needed to speak with Fife alone. If she could get over the initial shock of him being there, they needed to have a serious conversation. "How have you been doing" she asked tentatively, walking towards her desk. She heard the wheels of Fife's chair following her.

"You know me, I'm scrappy. I always come out on top" Fife said, smugly.

Sitting behind her desk, Naomi smiled at him. Some people didn't change. It was oddly refreshing to see the same confidence and arrogance radiating from Fife; though annoying, it was equally amusing. It was one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place. "That's great; I'm really happy to know you're doing well" she said, sincerely heartfelt.

"I would ask how you're doing but I think the conversation I overheard says it all" Fife commented.

"Overheard or eavesdropped on" Naomi asked.

Fife grinned. "Maybe a little of both".

"Meaning you one hundred percent eavesdropped" Naomi chuckled. She still felt too much fondness for Fife to be upset.

"Basically" he laughed.

There was an awkward pause between them. Naomi picked up a pen and absentmindedly began to tap it against her desk. Drumming up the courage to broach a sensitive subject, she hesitantly said "Look, I don't know why you're here but I'm glad you are. The way we left things was…less than ideal. I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did. I felt an obligation to help William but I should have explained myself and what I was feeling to you more clearly; instead, I let guilt govern my actions".

"You felt guilty for sleeping with me? Was I really that bad in bed" Fife asked sarcastically.

"No, I felt guilty for betraying William. That man gave me a job and a chance to start over and as soon as he turned his back, I jumped into bed with you. I didn't like the feeling of being a cheater; my actions went completely against my beliefs and values. But mostly I felt guilty for not regretting that it happened, it was one of the best nights of my life. That was the night I realized that I'd fallen in love with you, possibly from the moment we met" Naomi declared. "When I found out William was sick, I felt even worse, like the vilest person on the earth. Here he was fighting for his life and all I could think about was you. Staying by his bedside was the only way I felt I could make amends".

Fife swallowed hard, trying to digest what Naomi was telling him. She had loved him? He hoped, but never really believed. "Why didn't you tell me any of this before"?

"I was running from my feelings, trying so hard to do the right thing. But after William died, I had every intention of coming home and telling you everything; about my feelings, about the baby but you were gone" Naomi said, the words tumbling out of her mouth. She didn't realize her slip of the tongue until she saw Fife's shocked expression.

"Baby?! What baby" Fife asked loudly. He sat up straighter in his wheelchair as though a stiffer spine would help his hearing.

"I found out I was pregnant while I was away. Since I never slept with William, I knew the baby was yours. But the very next day I started hemorrhaging and suffered a miscarriage. When I came home and discovered you were gone, I decided to let you be. I'd already self-sabotaged what could have been between us because I was feeling guilty, scared and confused. I figured I'd already put you through too much and I didn't need to add any more drama to your life. I'm so very deeply sorry. " Naomi explained quietly, fighting back the sadness that consumed her when she thought about her lost child.

Fife wasn't an overemotional person but he suddenly felt the urge to cry. He'd help created a life; one that was way too short, one that was gone before it had a chance to live, but a life nonetheless. He'd never had the urge to have kids, but the news of Naomi's pregnancy was profoundly affecting him. They'd both handled their relationship so utterly wrong. "No Naomi, I'm sorry" he said, speaking up after a long silence. "While I wish you would have been more open with me and explained your feelings, I'm guilty of doing the same. I was afraid you would never love me the way I loved you and so I ran away. But also, deep down I just knew we weren't meant to be; that whatever relationship we had would be short lived. We had bad timing. Looking back though, I wish we would have acted like the grownups we're supposed to be and taken the time to enjoy the brief time we could have had together. I wish I would have been more open with you so you could have told me about the baby sooner. I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone".

"I guess things happen for a reason. Losing the baby was painful and heart wrenching but it gave me a wakeup call. She, I know it would have been a girl, made me see how short and fleeting life is and to appreciate every moment. I thank her every day for that. I just wish I would have gotten to meet her" Naomi said, wiping her eyes.

"Me too" Fife said.

"What makes you think we couldn't have lasted for a long time" Naomi asked, contemplating what Fife had said moments earlier.

"Because your heart was never truly available; it still isn't" Fife answered, like it was the easiest question in the world.

"That's ridiculous. I just told you I was in love with you, not William" Naomi exclaimed, confused.

"And I believe you. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know how much you cared about me. But you never loved me and will never love anyone the way you love Sam. You two have never truly let each other go" Fife explained.

"Excuse me" Naomi gasped in shock.

"Oh, don't go acting all indignant on me Naomi. I just overhead you admit you were still in love with him; I bet this Jordan character knows you're in love with him. The only difference between him and me is that he's apparently willing to fight. I think it's very brave of him considering he'll lose. But for his sake, I hope you'll give him a fair chance. Your ex-husband is an ass and a fool to have ever let you get away".

"No…no…no" Naomi repeated in denial. "I'll admit as my first love and as Maya's father, I'll always have a soft spot for him regardless of where we stand, but Sam does not have the monopoly on my heart. I might be back in love with him but he does not have an unfair advantage over Jordan and he had no influence over my feelings for you. I wasn't even in love with him back then".

"I know you want to believe that, but if you're truly honest with yourself, you'll see that I'm telling the truth. Your close friendship with Sam always unnerved me; divorced couples are not that nice to each other and yet you two managed to work together and remain really good friends. That is so unnatural. I hope this Jordan guy has a cure for the spell your ex-husband has placed on you. Like I said, Sam's an ass. You deserve better, but we'll see. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants".

"As much as I'm enjoying this trip back down memory lane, what's the real reason you're here Fife" Naomi asked, abruptly changing the subject. She had no desire to hear any more of Fife's conspiracy theories.

"Alright, fine Naomi. I'll let it go for now but don't think I won't bring it up again over the next few weeks. I'll get plenty chances to pester you about it while we're going over all the paperwork for the research grants" Fife warned her.

"Research grants? What paperwork? I only have one grant on the table and it's for the…"

"The group of doctors you met with in Zurich, right" Fife finished for her. "I'm the one who started the study. I'm the one who recruited the other doctors. It's my project, my brainchild. That's why I'm here, as the representative and leader of the group. So, are you ready to get started" Fife smiled as Naomi stared at him in shock.

…..

"You're kidding" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Nope" Naomi responded, taking a sip of her hot tea. She, Charlotte, and Violet were standing around the kitchen as she caught them up on her conversation with Fife. "I automatically assumed it would be Wyatt Lockhart that would come to sign the grant paperwork. He's the person I was going to tell you I ran into. He's part of the group of doctors I met with; two weeks of meeting with them and I never saw or heard anything about it being Fife's project. He probably told them to keep their mouth shut on purpose so he could shock the hell out of me. It worked".

"Wyatt Lockhart, that's a blast from the past. Is he still chasing fame or has he finally decided to concentrate on medicine" Violet asked.

Naomi chuckled. "In his defense, he was always about the medicine; he just liked the fame as well. But now, I don't think he cares about recognition as much. Fife wouldn't have agreed to work with him if that was the case".

"So, what do you think Fife is really doing here? Do you think he came to try to get you back" Charlotte asked.

"Oh God No! He really is here about the grant for his research group, thank goodness. I think I'd go literally insane if I had to deal with another man declaring his feelings for me. During our conversation, we more or less agreed that we just had bad timing. We apologized to each other for playing our parts in our dysfunctional relationship, I told him about the baby…overall it was really therapeutic. He's a good guy, I think we'll remain friends after this" Naomi said, smiling. A little more baggage had slipped off of her shoulders after her discussion with Fife.

"Then what was the whole element of surprise for" Violet asked confused.

"I don't know, Fife just being Fife I guess. Or maybe he was just as nervous to see me as I was to see him considering how messy things were left between us. But now that the air has been cleared, he has no problem inserting his nose into my business. He promised to keep up the commentary on my love life over the next few weeks while we go over the grant paperwork".

"Oh, and what does he think so far" Charlotte asked, intrigued.

Naomi sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fife claims that I've never truly let go of Sam, that's why he knew we could never work out; because I never stopped loving Sam. And he's also team Jordan, though Fife doesn't believe he stands a chance, because he thinks Sam is an undeserving ass. It was so ridiculous".

Violet and Charlotte shared a look but didn't say anything.

"What the hell was that" Naomi said, studying them.

"Well…" Violet started.

"Well what" Naomi asked, getting irritated.

"Fife's not the first person to question your feelings for Sam. It's one thing to hear it from one person but when several people keep arriving at the same conclusion, it can't be coincidence. You told me even Jordan had doubts about you being completely over Sam. You have to at least consider that there's some truth to it Naomi" Charlotte explained.

"Exactly; and you've admitted yourself that you would probably still be married to Sam if he hadn't left…which means you've never really tried to let go. You were able to repress your feelings, not vanquish them" Violet finished.

"No, I've tried to let go. It's Sam and all his craziness that keeps pulling me back in, but I wish people would give me a little more credit. Yes, despite my best efforts, I'm back in love with him but that doesn't mean I want to be with him. If he has such an irrefutable claim on my heart, then why am I fighting so hard against him? Explain that" Naomi challenged.

"You're scared" Violet said simply. "Sam hurt you. As much as you love him, I don't think you feel you're strong enough to survive him leaving you again".

"Or maybe I don't want to deal with him anymore" Naomi said defensively, feeling like her back was up against the wall. "You guys act like I even have a choice. Even if I wanted him back, he's with Addison. He's given no indication that he wants to break up with her; all he's really shown is that he wouldn't mind fucking me again. Besides, I'm not a home wrecker, I'm not about to try and steal him from her even if I think they have no business being together" she ranted on and on, becoming slightly hysterical.

"Calm down Naomi" Charlotte said in a soothing tone. "No one is blaming or accusing you of anything. We're just trying to get you to be honest with yourself. That's your new thing, right? If you can't be honest with yourself, it's going to make being honest with everyone else that much harder".

Naomi took a deep breath. "You're right, I'm sorry guys. Sam just makes me so crazy; I'll admit to that much. Fife was right, he is such an ass".

"Tell me how you really feel" Sam said, standing in the door way, anger seeping from his pores.

**So, I have a confession to make. From the very beginning, I planned to have Fife appear in this story. I wanted him to vie for Naomi's affections again. Another confession...Jordan was supposed to be a lesser character. He and Naomi were originally only friends (with benefits (I hate that term)) who helped each other through a rough time. But eventually he was supposed to go home to London and they would remain in touch as just friends, with an occasional visit or two. And then I started writing this story and everyone fell in love with Jordan (and he will be back!) which means I had to flip the script and turn Fife into the former flame who comes back but on friendly terms. With that said, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I had a hard time getting inspired (a slight case of writer's block I suppose). Thanks again for reading! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

"Ladies, will you excuse us" Sam asked, his tone more of a demand than a question.

Violet and Charlotte gave Naomi a glance that said 'good luck' and quickly exited the kitchen without further encouragement.

Naomi, her mouth still hanging open in surprise, backed up against the counter to support herself. She watched as Sam slowly walked further into the kitchen, closing the door behind him, and stared at her with raged filled eyes. Whatever was about to transpire could not be good.

"So, I'm an ass" Sam commented, barely managing to keep a scowl off his face. A vein throbbing on the right side of his temple was giving him a serious headache on top of his growing frustration with his ex-wife. "Can't say those were the first words I expected to hear from you after a two week separation".

"Sam…" Naomi started.

"You know for someone who loves playing the victim, loves pointing out that they were the one that got left, I find it ironic I'm doing all the chasing. I chased you two years ago and I'm chasing you now and yet I'm still the bad guy. Why do you insist on playing games? How many times do I have to tell you I love you? What else do you want from me" Sam ranted, cutting her off.

"You're kidding right" Naomi asked, her surprise turning into irate confusion. "Don't you dare act like I'm dragging you through the mud. You wouldn't have to chase me if you had stayed put in the first place, I was already yours. And I find it interesting that you only want me back when I show interest in someone else. You were living in perfect bliss with Addison until Jordan came into the picture and suddenly you felt the need to reevaluate our relationship. You're the one playing games. I haven't asked anything from you, I didn't ask you to chase me, to kiss me, to confess any feelings for me. I was happy living in denial, because loving you hurts".

"It didn't seem to hurt that night on the beach" Sam said defensively, trying to camouflage the sharp pain her words caused. "You wanted everything to do with me then".

Naomi leaned forward and slammed her hands down on the kitchen island. "Damnit Sam" she shouted. "This is exactly what the problem is; you claim to love me but the only way you want to showcase that is by trying to seduce me. Our marriage was not based solely on sex. We were best friends, we confided in each other; taking a walk in the park or snuggling up on the couch watching TV used to be just as fun and fulfilling. But now all you can think about is soothing your ego by trying to prove you're better than Jordan. Is that what you want to hear? Yes, I love you and you're the best sex I've ever had, ok? Now, will you leave me alone and let me get on with the rest of my life" she pleaded.

"No, I won't leave you alone. That's not true Naomi and you know it" Sam said quietly, placing his hands on the counter too. "If all I wanted was sex, I'd go elsewhere. How many times have I told you I missed our friendship? That I missed talking to you? You completely shut me out Naomi. I know I've hurt you, but don't think that I'm not hurting too. There have been so many occasions where I needed a shoulder to lean on, your shoulder to lean on, and then I would remember I couldn't go to you anymore; and I knew it was my fault. I knew you would be upset over Addison, but to lose you to the extent that I did nearly destroyed me. No one has ever affected me or played such important role in my life before or since you. Some days I would love to be able to walk away from you, but I can't. Despite your version of things, it's you who keeps drawing me back in. Why do you have to be so damn mesmerizing and unforgettable" Sam asked, irritated.

"There you go again with your fancy words and charm" Naomi groaned. "I honestly don't know if you're trying to make me feel guilty or seduce me or both" she complained.

"I'm trying to tell you that I love you, that you mean more to me than sex, and any excuse you come up with won't negate that fact that" Sam responded.

"I want to believe you Sam, I really do" Naomi said earnestly. "But where are your actions to back it up? What have you done to prove you mean what you say? Two years ago, you didn't want to make a commitment. This time, you started and still are dating my former best friend. Why in the hell would I fall right back into your arms when your actions directly contradict your words? I'm not about to walk into a relationship with you or anyone when there are such glaring doubts and uncertainties about the future".

"No one knows the future Naomi" Sam shouted. "You just have to take a leap of faith and hope everything works out. As far as my actions, I can't do anything if you're not willing to meet me half way. I told you I love you but how am I supposed to prove it if you won't even give me a chance? Stop giving me mixed signals; you're running around here claiming that you don't even want me back and yet you're mad that I'm not fighting harder? That makes no sense".

Naomi leaned further over the counter, getting directly in Sam's face. "You're not meeting me halfway either Sam. You're still with Addison. Regardless of whether I want you back, if you truly love me, you shouldn't be with her. I hate that I'm about to say this, but it's not fair to her. If you're not in love with her, you're doing her a great disservice. And the relationship between all three of us has been ruined for nothing. Based on that, surely you can understand why I would hesitate to give you a chance".

"Well, what about you? When Jordan was here, it felt like you were constantly throwing him in my face" Sam deflected. "Every time I saw you two together, it was one long big display of affection. I even had to endure hearing and seeing you have sex with him. Stop playing games with him before you jump down my throat and accuse me of doing anything".

Naomi turned her head, looking away for a brief moment. This conversation was going from bad to worse. Turning back, she declared "I did no such thing; it was just bad timing on your part Sam. I'm not playing games with Jordan; I'm in love with him".

Sam stood up straight and backed up a few steps. An invisible wall erected itself between them. "I see" Sam commented, feeling like someone had landed a serious blow to his chest.

"See what exactly" Naomi questioned, watching Sam's body language change.

"I see…that you will never forgive me for ending our marriage. Here you stand yelling and preaching to me about stepping up, proving how much I love you, telling me to break up with Addison and you clearly have no plans to do the same. What was the endgame? To have me completely turn my life upside down just in time for me to watch you ride off into the sunset with Jordan" Sam berated, his voice getting louder and louder.

Angry tears automatically began to drip down Naomi's face. "That's not fair" Naomi screeched. "We're not together; I was well within my rights. Did you really expect me to sit around and twiddle my thumbs? I didn't go looking for Jordan, I stumbled upon him. He's been the friend I've needed when I thought I had no one. I tried not fall for him but I did; just like I tried to get over you and failed. If you thought me loving you would completely eradicate Jordan from my life, you're sorely mistaken".

"And yet I'm supposed to eradicate Addison from mine. That's a double standard. You are so selfish; everyone is supposed to accept everything you do without question, but if they turn around and do the same thing, it's a problem" Sam argued. His eyes were red and burning from holding back his own tears. Underneath his rage was the deep profound hurt he felt at the news that his wife was in love with someone else; right now Naomi didn't feel like his ex-wife, she was his wife admitting to her infidelity. He honestly didn't know how he was still standing.

"I didn't tell you to sever your ties with Addison, I told you to be honest with her. You had no problem admitting you weren't in love with me and moving on; I'm sure you can muster enough strength to do it again. I don't understand why those words are so incomprehensible to you; unless, you are in love with her" Naomi suggested. "If that's the case, we can end the conversation right here. There's no need to keep discussing us if you're already in a committed loving relationship. We can go on living our lives separate from each other, you with Addison and me with Jordan" Naomi said throwing her hands up and walking to the opposite side of the kitchen, creating as much space as possible between her and Sam.

Sam sighed; Naomi was forcing him into a corner. "It's not that simple Naomi".

"It is that simple. Either you love her or you don't; either you want to be with her or you don't. If you can't figure out those two simple things, you have no business saying you love me, claiming you want to be with me. I don't care how much I love you, I am not about to sit around and wait for you make a decision or be your back up plan. This is why I said I don't want to be with you" Naomi cried. "You love to play with my emotions but when it comes to making a commitment, you run for the hills".

"I don't love her" Sam finally said. "Not like I love you. I thought I loved Addison; I was willing to sacrifice my relationship with you in pursuit of it. But after a while I realized that everything she did, I would compare to you. It wasn't until you came back from Africa that I realized my mistake, but I fought just as hard as you did to ignore it until I couldn't anymore. I will always care about Addison, just like I know you will too, because we were friends first but I'm not in love with her. Still, I can't leave her right now, she's not strong enough. She needs me Naomi. She just lost her mother; she's barely hanging onto her sanity. And I've been avoiding telling you this because I was afraid you'd think I was lying, that I was trying to play you. But that's not the case; I'm just really worried about Addison as a friend, I've never seen her be this fragile." Sam explained.

Naomi wiped her eyes; she was so tired of crying over Sam, of him consuming her thoughts. And now she felt guilty for completely forgetting Addison's pain was too fresh to deal with more drama, whether her points were valid of not. She wanted to punch Sam for evoking so many contrasting feelings. "If you're so worried about her, then why are you chasing me so hard" she asked wearily.

"As soon as Addison is strong enough, I will break up with her, whether you choose to be with me or not. But I wanted to know in advance where we stand; I wanted to know if you were willing to at least consider giving us another chance. I've already wasted too much time and because of it, I now have to compete with another man" Sam said, swallowing the lump in his throat. The initial shock to Naomi's revelation was starting to wear off. Sam realized he didn't care how she felt about Jordan as long as he wasn't too late to throw his hat in the rink. "There is no way I could have waited to let my feelings be known while Addison grieves. You're the love of my life Nae" Sam confessed, walking closer to Naomi. "I know we've said some hurtful things just now, blamed each other for things we're both guilty for, but that is the honest truth. I don't care how you feel about Jordan, I'm not giving up. You want me to fight harder, so I'll fight harder".

Naomi shook her head, overcome with conflicting emotions. Something about the whole situation felt so scandalous. "When I said loving you hurt, I meant it Sam. It physically hurts. My heart pounds harder, my muscles cramp, my lungs can't take in air properly. I used to wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air after dreaming about you. God, I love you so much, despite everything you've put me through, despite everything I've put you through. But this feels wrong Sam. All this back and forth, blaming each other is toxic. Some of the things I've done have gone against everything I believe and stand for; I just completely lose my mind when it comes to you. Like I said that night on the beach, we're not healthy for each other. It feels like we're tearing each other down instead of lifting each other up. And now we're dragging other people into the mess we've created. I keep saying that you haven't been fair to Addison but I haven't been either. She has, both of you, have hurt me so badly that I didn't want to consider her feelings in the matter. I only wanted concentrate on how her involvement affected me. But truthfully, as a woman who tries to respect other women, this isn't right. I have no business discussing being with you while you're still with her. And the fact that she's having such a hard time makes it worse. Here I am imploring you to break up with her in the midst of her tragedy when it's not even my place to make that decision for you. I still think you're being unfair to her, but it's not my place to say" Naomi admitted. "I still can't stand the thought of you being with her, but this is a reality check. Me being upset with her doesn't give me free license to act however I want concerning you no matter how much I want to scream this is what happens when you date you best friend's ex-husband, you get caught in the crossfire. Then there is Jordan; he has been waiting and waiting for me to make a decision regarding him and me. I think he knows I'm still in love with you, he knew before I did and yet he's still patiently waiting. I mean really Sam, what are we doing? Is all the destruction we're leaving behind worth it? Is that the new foundation we want to base a relationship on" Naomi entreated, trying to snap out of the trance she and Sam had placed on each other.

Sam walked closer and grabbed Naomi's hands. He took a moment to think, picking his words carefully. "I hear what you're saying and I can even understand it. But there's just one problem. Regardless of everything you just said, that still doesn't erase the feelings we have for each other. So where does that leave us? Are we supposed to just go our separate ways? That doesn't seem to work either; we're right back where we left off two years ago. So why can't we just fight for what we want"?

"I don't know Sam, I don't even know what I want. I'm so confused" Naomi disclosed staring at her ex-husband. She didn't know if she wanted to run away or pull him closer. She could see the obvious conflict going on in his eyes too, but what it was about she couldn't say. To her guilty relief, Sam wasn't torn between her and Addison like she was torn between him and Jordan. But it still didn't make their situation any easier. As they stared at each other, reflecting on their personal turmoil and studying each other's internal struggles, the kitchen door opened. They were concentrating too hard to notice.

"What's going on in here" Addison said, finally getting their attention. The way their eye contact and connected hands jumped apart, like they had been electrocuted, when she spoke was disconcerting. She studied both of their faces; they looked guilty. That was not a good sign.

"Hi Addison, how are you doing" Naomi asked nervously.

"Addison…uhhh…we were just….uhhh" Sam stumbled before Cooper rushed into the kitchen looking panicked and upset.

"Guys, I just got a call from Pete. We have to go to the hospital. Betsy is in the emergency room".


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Naomi" Betsy yelled excitedly as she walked through the hospital curtain. Everyone else had already come in to see her but she was the happiest to see Naomi. Those few months she and her dad had lived with her had been one of the calmest and most peaceful periods in her young life. It had been such a long time since she'd seen her.

"Hey sweetie" Naomi said excitedly as she leaned over the bed to give Betsy a long and tight hug. She couldn't believe how much Betsy had grown over the last year. But it also broke her heart to see her lying in a hospital bed covered with bruises and bandages. According to Cooper's reading of her x-rays, she had a broken arm and remodeled bones from previous but recent breaks. What the hell was going on?

"I missed you" Betsy admitted.

"I missed you more" Naomi said, hugging her again. "How are you doing? Is your new family treating you nicely" Naomi asked more seriously as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"My new mommy and daddy are really nice, especially mommy" Betsy said slowly, avoiding looking directly at Naomi.

"That's great sweetie. Do they have any children" Naomi asked, rubbing Betsy's hair to keep her calm and comfortable.

"Yeah; they have a son named Marshall" she answered, panic and fear crossing her face. "He…he…" Betsy couldn't finish her statement. Her body went stiff as a board and her eyes began to roll in the back of her head as she began to seize.

Naomi immediately turned her onto her side and tried to keep her still as she yelled out "Help! Somebody get in here and help me! She's seizing"! Betsy's small body was shaking so badly; Naomi was unnerved by how fragile and breakable she looked. "Come on baby, stay with me" she whispered.

Pete rushed through the curtain, followed by Cooper, and shouted "What the hell happened"?!

"I don't know Pete. She was talking to me and she just tensed up. It came out of nowhere" Naomi explained. Cooper raced around to Betsy's other side to help hold her down as Pete filled a syringe with medicine to stop the attack. Pushing the needle directly into her arm, they waited as her body slowly began to relax. "That's it Betsy, everything is going to be okay" Naomi cooed softly in her ear, not sure if she was reassuring herself or the child. The last few seconds had scared years off her life; adrenaline and the need to help Betsy was the only thing helping her keep it together. Betsy had finally stopped moving but she did not regain consciousness.

"She must have hit her head when she fell" Cooper surmised, looking just as shaken as Naomi felt. "We need to get a MRI test done ASAP" he ordered when the nurse appeared in the cubicle, who in turn rushed back out the room to notify radiology a new patient was being brought up.

Pete didn't even bother to wait for the orderlies to arrive. He unlocked the wheels on Betsy's hospital bed and started pushing her out of the emergency room, down the hall, and towards the elevator. All the doctors from the practice, who were waiting in the emergency waiting room, noticed and began to follow.

"What's going on" Violet asked frantically.

"She seized right in front of Naomi. We're taking her up to get an MRI" Pete answered.

"Oh no" Charlotte cried.

"I'll go with you" Amelia said. "If she needs surgery, I want to get her on the table as soon as possible. I refuse to lose her like we lost Dell" she said, grabbing the railing on the bed and getting onto the elevator with Pete.

"Her foster family went down to the cafeteria. I'll go give them an update" Sheldon said quickly as he walked away.

"Please, please be okay" Naomi whispered to herself as she watched the elevator doors close.

….

"Tell us what happened again" Cooper demanded, walking back in forth in frustration. They were all standing around the radiology waiting room waiting for Pete and Amelia to come back with hopefully good news.

Naomi sighed and started over. "I went in there and gave her a hug. We talked about how much we missed each other and then I asked her about her foster family. She said her new parents were really nice. I asked her if they had any children. She said they had a son named Marshall. She seemed to tense up when she said his name but she tried to keep speaking when the seizure hit her" she recounted, a new thought occurring to her. "Now that I'm really thinking about it, she didn't just tense up at the mention of the son, her eyes looked panicked, like she was scared. Maybe fear exacerbated her injuries and caused the seizure" Naomi deduced.

"What are you saying? Do you think her fall isn't an accident, that maybe the son had something to do with it" Sheldon asked.

"I don't know Sheldon; I'm just telling you what I saw" Naomi responded.

"It could be possible" Cooper said. "I told you Betsy's x-rays showed signs of other recent injuries. And we all know her well enough to know she's not a clumsy child. Those x-rays belong to a child that's been abused. If the son is not doing it, it has to be the parents. I'm going to go talk to them right now" he said, briskly walking away before anyone could stop him.

"This is terrible. I promised her that we would find her a great family and it looks like we've done the opposite" Violet lamented, shaking her head in remorse.

"I'm not trying to step on any toes, but why didn't any of you just keep her? Dell wasn't just a colleague, he was family" Naomi asked.

"We just weren't in a position to take her" Addison said snidely. "Some people just don't have the ability to do things at certain times; kind of like your inability to keep your legs closed…ever" she accused.

Everyone completely froze and looked at Addison like they didn't recognize her. Sam immediately saw where her train of thought was going and inwardly cringed; Addison was so off base but how could he explain that and spare her feelings simultaneously? He quickly looked in his ex-wife's direction to see how she would react. Naomi slowly turned towards Addison. "Excuse me" she said in a low dangerous voice.

"I saw you and Sam in the kitchen, the way you were looking at each other, the guilty look in your eyes when you saw me. I know you're sleeping with him. He's not yours anymore Naomi and for you to try and steal him back just to get back at me is childish. I thought you were better than that" Addison ranted. Over the past few hours, Addison had replayed that scene in her head over and over again, becoming more enraged each time. She felt so stupid; she had noticed Sam pulling away from her over the last few weeks but had incorrectly assumed he was unsure about how to comfort her; that or he didn't want to fight about the baby issue yet again.

"Addison, you've got it all wrong" Sam said, trying to diffuse the situation before it picked up steam. But Naomi was already clearly incensed.

"You're can't be serious right now" Naomi said, incredulous. "Betsy's life could be in danger and you're standing there not only insulting me but making accusations that are entirely baseless and false. And in any case, if you have any issues with your boyfriend, you should be confronting him not me" she said, glancing at Sam through her peripheral vision before turning her back on Addison and walking away from the group. Naomi's insides were on fire; her hands were twitching with the desire to slap the taste out of Addison's mouth for passive aggressively calling her a whore. Why did everyone want to assume the worst of her today? What could she have possibly done to garner such a reputation? Did they think she was so capable of brainwashing Sam, rendering him incapable of making his own decisions? Was it so impossible to believe she wasn't the first one to make a move or any moves? And to think she had begun to feel guilty and empathize with Addison about Sam. She still did feel guilty and sorrowful for the role she played but now Addison would never know or believe her. That was her loss.

Sam tried to hold Addison back, tried to get her to listen to him but she had tunnel vision. Following Naomi, she continued "Don't use Betsy as an excuse to get out of this Naomi. She's fine and if she's not, Amelia and Pete will make sure she is fine. What's not fine is stealing other people's men".

Naomi looked at Addison like she was crazy. "This; coming from the person who had an affair with her bedridden pregnant patient's husband? You might want to look in the mirror Addison before you speak. Please get away from me before I do or say something I can't take back" Naomi asked, her body growing rigid, her hands balling into fists.

"That's a good idea" Sheldon said, stepping between the women. "Addison, it's apparent you're feeling some frustration but maybe this is not the appropriate time to vent those frustrations. Let's concentrate on Betsy right now and then later you can sit down and have a conversation with Naomi and Sam in private, alright" he suggested, looking over at Sam to back him up.

"Yes, that's right. This is a big misunderstanding Addison. Naomi and I are not sleeping together. I don't know what you thought you saw, but I'll be happy to explain it to you at a later time. Right now we need to concentrate on Betsy" Sam said.

Sam and Sheldon's words blew right over Addison's head; seemingly, she could only see and hear Naomi. "That's not fair and you know it. You know I didn't know he was married and once I did I tried to keep my distance. How is that the same as you knowingly going after my boyfriend? There's no excuse for you being a slut" Addison spewed.

"You do realize your boyfriend is my ex-husband, that I screwed him first right" Naomi pointed out, not caring what happened next. "So who went after whose man is still up for debate. And putting that aside, am I supposed to pat you on the back for finally keeping your legs closed with one man? You want to accuse me of being loose but I'm not the one who fucked my husband's best friend. I don't get the urge to cheat every time a man even winks at me. I'm not in the habit of wanting things I can't have. Your childhood wasn't that miserable Addison; why do you think you can only be happy by stealing other people's joy? It's about damn time you went and found your own" Naomi spat back.

Addison flung her body forward into Naomi's personal space without being aware of moving. As she began to wound her hand back to slap her, Naomi warned "If you hit me, you better kill me because if you don't, I'll be forced to finish what you started". Her eyes were mere slits at this point.

"Okay, this has gone far enough" Charlotte said.

"Addison, you're still grieving. Maybe this isn't the best time to be discussing this. Your emotions are heightened, so everything seems worse than it actually is. Why not table this discussion for later like Sam and Sheldon suggested" Violet urged.

Sam didn't even try to interfere this time. Both Naomi and Addison were stubborn to a fault; this conversation wouldn't be over until they deemed it was over. Also, Addison wasn't crazy enough to slap Naomi if she knew what was good for her.

Again, words not coming out of Naomi's mouth fell on deaf ears. Addison stumbled back a few steps taking Naomi's threat seriously. "You are such a bitch. I can't believe I've spent the better part of a year begging and pleading for your forgiveness. Not only is it clear that you have no intentions of accepting Sam and me as a couple, you're intent on destroying our relationship just for sport" Addison said.

"I'm the bitch?! In most circles, I'd be considered a saint for even speaking to you again and yet your spoiled selfish ass is mad because I didn't immediately accept your betrayal. People don't heal on your unrealistic time schedule. I have the right to be upset" Naomi shouted. How did she still not get it?

"But I don't have the right to be upset that you're moving in on Sam" Addison asked, enraged.

Naomi sighed, bowed her head in frustration. It would be almost too easy to burst Addison's bubble and tell her that Sam was moving in on her, inform her that she was the one who hit the brakes. "You have the right to be upset about anything you want, but right now you're getting upset over nothing. I don't owe you any explanations but for my sake, let me say this one time and one time only. I am not sleeping with Sam. I do not intend to sleep with Sam. And for the record, he is not a possession; he is no one's to steal. But if he leaves, that will be his decision; it will have nothing to do with me" Naomi stressed, looking at both Sam and Addison intently to emphasize her point.

"Yeah right; like I said, you haven't been happy about us since day one. I was just too naïve to assume you wouldn't try to come between us. But I should have seen it coming; it just doesn't make sense for you to still be this upset unless you were seeking revenge which is just so ridiculous. You guys were over years ago, it's not like you even love him anymore" Addison said.

"Of course I'm still in love with him" Naomi shouted at the top of her lungs. "And you as my best friend should have realized that even when I didn't. I lived and breathed Sam for half my life; if it was my choice I would still be living and breathing him. But he wanted other things in life and when he circled back around to me, I was too scared to give us another real chance. So I suppressed my feelings. How could you not see that? Outside of Sam, you were supposed to know me better than anyone but your actions have shown me you don't know me at all. Especially now, with you accusing me of trying to steal my ex-husband, MY EX-HUSBAND, from you; in what universe does that statement even make sense? I'm not the vindictive type" she affirmed. Naomi was so tired; tired of all the drama, fights, anger, pain, confusion, and the tension. She was physically and emotionally drained and wanted out of the constant soap opera that was her life. "You want to know the real truth Addison? I lied. You are so absolutely right. I did make a move on Sam. At your mother's wedding; Jordan had just left and I was feeling so alone, I practically ran into Sam's arms. But he turned me down and I've been embarrassed ever since. I didn't do it to be vindictive or to steal him; I did it because I felt impulsive and I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. But Sam doesn't love me anymore, he loves you. So don't waste your precious time worrying about me" Naomi lied, wanting this conversation to be over so she could get on with the rest of her life. Maybe it was time to just let everything go.

Sam, Charlotte, and Violet looked at Naomi curiously, wondering what angle she was playing. Addison was oblivious to their confused faces but Sheldon noticed and deduced there was way more to the story. It seemed messier than when he was caught between Pete and Violet.

Addison felt like she had been electrocuted with a stun gun. She was finally at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say or how to feel; guilt, anger, shock, and confusion rolled into one huge knot at the pit of her stomach. The silence in the room after she and Naomi's shouting match began to unnerve Addison. She was just about to excuse herself to think when Pete, Cooper, Amelia, and surprisingly Fife walked through the door. The tension in the room was obvious, even a stranger wouldn't be able to ignore it.

"What happened in here" Pete said looking around at the room full of solemn faces.

"How's Betsy" Naomi asked, changing the subject.

….

This had been the day from hell, full of angst and drama. It had felt so tortuous at one point, Naomi was almost sure she could feel burning coals underneath her feet and flames licking around her neck and face. Glancing down at her watch, Naomi felt relieved when the hour hand finally clicked midnight. Another day, a fresh start; she had never been more grateful to see another day. Now she could focus solely on more important matters Naomi thought as she stood out in the hospital corridor looking through the glass into Betsy's room. Everyone had gone home for the night at Naomi's insistence that she would spend the night at the hospital. Lost in thought, she didn't hear Fife's wheelchair pull up and park next to where she was standing.

"Rough day" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"That's the understatement of the century" Naomi said, leaning back against the wall.

"Well at least Betsy's going to be okay; it's just a small brain bleed that should resolve itself in a few days. She's a tough kid" Fife said, trying to comfort her.

"Yeah, except for the part where another family has abandoned her. Instead of getting their son the help he needs, they were perfectly content to place all the blame on Betsy. They're not coming back" Naomi said sadly.

Fife studied the way Naomi was staring at Betsy. "You're thinking about taking her home with you, aren't you" he asked.

Naomi didn't even hesitate to answer. "I am. Dell was family which makes Betsy family. I can't bear the thought of her floating through the foster care system. I almost came back from Africa early for her but I knew I was too unstable to be any good for her".

"And now" Fife asked.

Naomi smiled sadly. "My life is far from perfect but I'm a lot stronger than I was six months ago. I think we would be good for each other. And we both need a fresh start; Maya and Dink both got into schools in Atlanta. They've all but asked me to consider moving across country to be near them. And if I take a more active role with the foundation, I can open up an office in any city" she surmised.

"It seems like you've already made up your mind" Fife said.

"I've had a lot of time to think over the last few hours. There's nothing really holding me here, not anymore. And as long as Betsy and I have each other, we can be happy anywhere" Naomi said.

"Nothing's holding you back, not even Sam" Fife asked. "Speaking of which, I heard all the details on the huge blowout between you and Addison. When we were speaking about your love life earlier, you failed to mention it was a love square, not a triangle. That changes the whole dynamic. If you move away, how do you know you're not just running away from Sam and Addison"?

"It's funny you say that. That's the exact same thought I had when I came back from Tahiti. Everyone thought I was still in Africa when in reality I was in my own paradisiac bubble with Jordan for over two months. But one morning I woke up and decided it was time to stop hiding; I had to come home and face my problems head on. I honestly think that was the right decision at the time. But now, I'm just being a glutton for punishment. Like you said, the dynamics have changed and I no longer fit, I don't belong here anymore. Moving to Atlanta won't be me running away; it will be me choosing to walk away from a situation that's not healthy for me" Naomi explained.

"And Sam" Fife asked again.

Naomi took a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke. "You know, earlier today you were half right, half wrong. You were right in the sense that I've never let go of Sam, that I never stopped loving him. I deluded myself into thinking I did, but I never actually did it. I had pretty much already arrived at the conclusion before you came strolling into my office, but my thoughts coming from your mouth pushed me back into denial temporarily. Where you were wrong is whether we could have made it work between us. One lesson I've learned is that loving someone with your whole heart doesn't guarantee a lifetime of happiness; if anything it's foolish and dangerous and fatalistic. So it's true that I would have never been able to give you my whole heart, but you would have gotten most of it. I think we could have been really happy together. So when I said loving Sam had no effect on my feelings for you, I truly meant it, it just made me wiser. I don't know if I'll ever get over Sam, but that's just something I have to deal with. But we need space; being so close to each other always gets us in trouble. There's no we can let go or move past each other if we're constantly in each other's face".

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you love him and Sam the ass loves you, why not just try to make it work" Fife asked.

"Because too much has happened; other people are involved. Right before we left for the hospital, Sam and I were seriously discussing our future; what we wanted and what we were willing to do for it. But after the way Addison attacked me in the waiting room, I realized it's not worth it. That's why I lied and took the blame; in a way I was severing ties with both of them. I'm tired of the drama. If Sam and I were meant to be together, there wouldn't be this many obstacles in our way. There would be no Addison and there would be no Jordan. When I wasn't looking, Jordan slipped right into my heart, sort of like you did, and coming to terms with my feelings for Sam doesn't change that. If anything, it confuses me more" Naomi expounded.

"So does that mean you're walking away from Jordan too" Fife wanted to know.

"I don't even know if or when I'll see Jordan again. But I suppose I'll make that decision when the time comes" Naomi sighed, wishing her life were so much simpler. She looked through the glass again into Betsy's room. The little girl was beginning to stir. "I should get in there, I don't want her to wake up feeling alone" she whispered, waving goodbye to Fife as she quietly opened the door and walked into Betsy's room.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey, here's the latest chapter. I just wanted to clarify something from the last chapter. I know that was not typical Addison behavior. EverAfter's comments were correct in that I only had Addison acting crazy because of her grief. I was trying to portray her as a women so lost in saddness of her mother's death, a mother she never truly knew and received unconditional love from, that she couldn't see, think, or act straight. I wanted her to appear desperate in the sense that she'd already lost one person, she couldn't take losing someone else (Sam) so she clung tighter to him. Sorry I didn't convey that as well as I would have liked.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

**_Dear Addison,_**

**_These last few years have been a rocky rollercoaster for us; too many ups and downs to count. In many ways, this has always been the nature of our friendship; it has always been so extreme. We are either in complete agreement or on opposite sides. There is rarely a middle ground for us. And in twenty years, that has never been a problem, we were always able to make it work…until now. Now we've grown so far apart, I feel like we're on different planets in different galaxies. I know the obvious reason for our latest rift is your relationship with Sam. But if I'm completely honest, I think that was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Granted, it was a huge straw, but it was one straw among many. We've both played our parts, put dents and gaping holes in our relationship that have yet to be repaired. Addison, we haven't been friends to each other in a really long time. Instead of having each other's back, we began to blame the other for our problems. The cold shoulders, distrust, going behind each other's back… that's not how real friends act towards each other. Somewhere along the way, we stopped being real friends. I still love you like a sister and I know you love me, but somehow our friendship ended when we weren't looking. I'm afraid the damage we've both caused has broken us beyond repair. _**

**_I'm truly sorry for any pain I've caused you. That was my never my intention. And I know you never meant to intentionally cause me pain either. But sometimes our head and hearts don't match and things are harder to accept. And then there comes a point where you have to know when to walk away; I've reached that point. I'm not running or hiding, I holding my head high and walking off into the sunset. It truly breaks my heart that by doing that, I have to say goodbye to you, but it's what's best for me. And if you're truthful with yourself, you know this is best for you too. We've reached a point in our lives where we are in different places headed down different paths. Our roads no longer intersect. And instead of forcing the issue, I think it's finally time we act like the grown women we're supposed to be and admit defeat, admit that it's time to go our separate ways…at least for now._**

**_As I'm sure you've heard, I've decided to move to Atlanta, not only to be close to Maya and Olivia, but to begin anew, get a fresh start. But I couldn't leave without writing you this letter to let you know that no matter where life takes us, I will always love you. Through all the overwhelming emotions, the pain and anger, I'll never ever regret meeting or know you. I'll always cherish the friendship we had because even though we experienced highs and lows, it was mostly highs; and sometimes just downright magical. I don't know if I would have even made it through medical school without you and Sam by my side. Addison…I want you to be happy. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Whatever it is that you're searching for, just be patient, let it come to you. We're human, we all make mistakes but our mistakes don't make us bad people. It gives us the opportunity to learn and grow. Your mistakes don't define you; they only help shape you into the person you aspire to be. You're a good person Addison. I know I haven't treated you like one recently, but you're a good person and you deserve to find your happy ending. So stop getting in your own way, okay?_**

**_Wishing you the best with all my love,_**

**_Naomi_**

Reading over the letter one more time, Naomi finally stuffed it into a white envelope with Addison's name written across the front. She looked up from her desk, where she was sitting and looked around her empty office. A month ago, adopting Betsy and moving across the country had been a mere idea; now it was a reality. Today was officially her last day as a member of Oceanside Wellness Center; and in two days, she and Betsy would be leaving California for good. When she and Sam first started the practice, never in her wildest dreams did she imagine her life would end up this way. She'd known without a doubt that her marriage and the practice would last forever; but instead, she was divorced and the practice would be continuing without her. Naomi's heart palpitations returned as she thought about the enormity of the recent life changing decisions she'd made. Part of her was sad and wanted to cling to the past but a larger part was excited to see what the future held, what new adventures awaited her. Slowly standing up, she walked around to the front of her desk and leaned against it. It still felt surreal; come Monday morning, she wouldn't be walking through the doors of this office anymore; she wouldn't be greeting the people she'd known forever. They were no longer her colleagues, they were her family. That was definitely the most difficult part of leaving but it was time to move on. She'd already said most of her goodbyes, only a few people remained.

A knock on the door brought Naomi back to the present. "Come in" she said.

Sam walked through the door, but he didn't say anything. He'd been avoiding this conversation for nearly a month mainly because he didn't know what to say, wasn't even sure if he would be able to speak. His throat felt constricted. Was this really happening, was she really leaving? Coming to a stop right in front of Naomi, he just stared at her, silently willing her to say something first.

He had impeccable timing Naomi thought. "Hello Sam" she said quietly, returning the favor by studying him.

"Naomi" Sam said roughly, coughing to clear the emotion from his throat. He looked around her office. "So, this is it" he surmised.

"Yep, this is it" Naomi said, nodding.

"Are you sure" he asked.

"I'm a little scared but I need this" Naomi said.

"How does Betsy feel about this" Sam asked, redirecting the conversation a little.

"She's excited" Naomi responded. "I was a little worried because even in the short time we've been together, we've already settled into a comfortable routine. I hate to uproot her like this, but we'll be okay. We have each other".

"That's good, that's good" Sam said, not knowing what else to say.

"By the time Maya, Dink, and Olivia move to Georgia, we should be back on track. You're still helping them move and get their paperwork in order, right? I originally wanted to stay in Los Angeles a little longer to help them but the house sold faster than I expected. That and I found a house so quickly in Atlanta; and I need to get Betsy registered for school as soon as possible. I know summer just started but I don't know how long it will take her new school to get her academic records. Also, I've already found an office space for the foundation; I have an appointment with the realtor at the end of next week. All my ducks have lined up in a row; it looks like moving to Atlanta was meant to be" Naomi rambled on and on, trying to fill the awkward silence with noise.

Sam couldn't help letting a small smile slip. Naomi used to always ramble when they first met; too much quiet made her uncomfortable and nervous. Over the years, she learned to find solace in the quiet moments they shared together. She claimed that he cured her; that nothing could ever make her nervous or uncomfortable ever again as long as she had him. Suddenly his nostalgia turned to bitter frustration. "How the hell did this happen? I was supposed to win you back; we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. Instead, the exact opposite is happening. Please don't leave Naomi, we can still make this work, Betsy and all" he pleaded, taking her hands in his.

"I know you care about Betsy, but face it. You don't want any more kids. Maya and Olivia are enough for you" Naomi pointed out.

"You're right, I thought I was done raising children, but I'd do it for you. Please stay" Sam begged again.

Naomi looked down at Sam's strong hands holding hers. "Sam, you know this is the right thing. I know you understand even if you don't want to admit it. I love you but our timing is all wrong. We would never be truly happy; scratching, clawing, and trampling over people's feelings would taint everything. It's time to grow up Sam; we can't always get what we want. Sometimes you have to do what's right even if it goes against your heart's desire. Besides, if we were truly meant to be, there wouldn't be so many complications" she explained, looking up at him. "Moving to Atlanta gives us a chance to both get some distance, clear our minds, get a new perspective. I'm not running away from us this time; I'm making a heavily thought out decision based on what best for all parties involved. Going to Atlanta is the right decision Sam".

Sam sighed. "I know, I know. But that still doesn't make this any easier. You make me want to do wrong for you, even when I know better. I'll miss you" he said, raising her hands to kiss them softly.

"I'll miss you too" Naomi admitted.

"Can I ask you a question? There's one thing that's troubling me" Sam said curiously.

"What"?

"That day at the hospital; why did you lie to Addison? Why did you take all of the blame? You knew I had every intention of telling her the truth and yet you led her to believe the exact opposite of the truth" Sam said. "I can't figure out why you did it".

"I wanted to end the argument" Naomi shrugged. "You were right about her being too fragile to handle new information. Addison was insane with grief; to overreact and attack me the way she did, she couldn't have been in her right mind. Telling her the truth would have fallen on deaf ears. So I told her what she already believed. Plus, I was so tired Sam; the drama was getting old. Admitting to her that we were still in love would have created more drama. In that moment I finally realized serious changes needed to be made, that we couldn't keep functioning the way we were".

Sam nodded his understanding. "She'll find out the truth eventually, sooner than you think".

"It really doesn't matter anymore" Naomi said.

Sam pulled her closer, wrapped his hands around her. "It matters to me" he whispered in her ear.

"Sam, please" Naomi gasped. "Please don't make this harder than it already is".

"I'm sorry, I just had to hold you close one more time" Sam said, pulling her even tighter.

Naomi rested her face against his. "Sam, this isn't goodbye forever. It's goodbye for right now. But Maya and Olivia will always keep us connected".

"I know but still..." Sam replied, his words trailing off. Turning his face ever so slightly and nuzzling is nose against hers, he said "How about one last kiss for the road".

She couldn't say no even if she wanted to. Leaning in, Naomi felt her heart flutter when their lips touched. The kiss was slow and sensual. Their bodies were so in sync; Sam could read her, give her what she needed better than anyone. Naomi's hand reached up and grabbed Sam's cheek, pulling him closer. She never wanted to let him go again, but she knew she had to. This kiss was slowly becoming more intense, more chaotic. If Naomi had any chance of surviving this emotional assault, she had to break away now. As her skin became flushed and the center between her thighs began to ignite, she used all the strength she had to pull her lips away. "It's time" she said, her voice hoarse, her breathing unsteady.

"And you're absolutely sure" Sam asked again, his voice equally shaky.

Naomi softly stroked Sam's face. "No, but I'm leaving anyway".

Sam lightly kissed her on the lips again, squeezed her tight, before he reluctantly stepped back. "I hope you find whatever it is that you need".

"Me too" Naomi said. "And I want you to be happy Sam, I really do. So try to be happy, I mean really try okay" she pleaded.

Sam didn't think it was possible without her but he nodded for her benefit.

Naomi briefly turned towards her desk and grabbed the envelope she left on top. "Could you please give this to Addison for me? I've been having trouble tracking her down".

"Sure" Sam said, taking it from her. "Well, I guess I should get going. Goodbye Naomi, be safe".

"Goodbye Sam, take care of yourself" Naomi replied back. Sitting back on the edge of her desk, she watched him walk out of her office and prayed she hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life.

...

Sam made it half a dozen steps out of Naomi's office before he had to stop to regain his composure. His eyes were red rimmed and stinging from trying to keep his emotions at bay.

"Why didn't you tell her I already know the truth" Addison said, catching Sam off guard. She had come downstairs to finally speak to Naomi only to discover Sam in her office. Addison hadn't meant to eavesdrop on their conversation but found she couldn't help herself. The love they shared was still so powerful and potent.

Too emotionally distraught to be surprised, Sam answered "Because it wouldn't have kept her from leaving. I see that clearly now. Whatever she's looking for isn't here with me. And as much as she hates to admit it these days, Naomi still cares about you. She doesn't want to cause any more pain for anyone; she wants us all to have a fresh start".

Addison nodded slightly.

"Why didn't you tell her you know the truth" Sam asked. "You've been avoiding her for a month now. She asked me to give you this by the way" he added, handing over the envelope.

"I guess I was just embarrassed. You know me; I'm the cool calm collected type. I don't fly off the hinges but Bizzy has driven me crazy from the grave. Some of the things I said and accused her of…I can't believe it came out of my mouth. I think too, deep down inside, I knew you were slipping away from me but I didn't want to face the facts. I wanted to cling closer to you because if we didn't work out, it meant I sacrificed my friendship with Naomi for a lost cause. But now I can see I never stood a chance, did I" Addison asked, tears filling her eyes.

Sam's silence answered her question. "I'm so sorry Addison. This is on me, I take full responsibility. I went on this wild and crazy journey looking for what I already had. And not only did I hurt you and lose Naomi, I've ruined you and Naomi's friendship. I don't know how, but I'm going to make it up to both of you".

"No, this is on me too" Addison said. "I won't pretend that I'm not hurt but I knew better and I went for it anyway thinking I could have everything. I guess this is what karma feels like".

"I guess so" Sam concurred.

"Do you regret our time together" Addison wondered out loud.

"Regret is a strong word" Sam hedged. "We had some great times and I will always love and care about you but us being together…it was a mistake and we both know it. If I had the opportunity to do it over, I'd choose different. I would have never left Naomi in the first place".

Addison wasn't sure she could say the same. If she knew then what she knew now, she would have chosen different. But if there was a chance her and Sam could have gone the distance, Addison wasn't sure she could walk away from that. Her need to be loved was too strong. "I should get back to work".

"You're not going to say goodbye to Naomi" Sam asked. "She'll be leaving soon".

Glancing at Naomi's office door, Addison silently debated. "She has a lot on her mind, I shouldn't disturb her. Maybe I'll stop by her house tomorrow" she said, headed towards the stairwell before Sam could stop her. As soon as she reached her office and sat down, she remembered the envelope in her hand. Opening it up, she pulled out the letter and began to read. Tears spilled over as she her moved further down the page. Addison took it back; it she had the chance to do it over, she would have never even looked at Sam; not if it meant ruining her friendship indefinitely. At no point had Addison ever completely lost hope that she and Naomi would be able to work through their issues. Apparently she was wrong Addison thought, closing the letter and sitting back in her chair, at a loss for words.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

"I can't believe you're really leaving" Charlotte lamented. "We've gotten so close over the last few months; it's been so nice having someone other Cooper I can really talk to".

Naomi reached out and hugged Charlotte tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much" she cried. Looking at Violet over Charlotte's shoulder, she beckoned her closer and hugged them both at the same time. "You too Violet; you guys have been my rock". They were all standing in the foyer of her house saying their last goodbyes. The house was almost completely empty; professional movers had already collected Naomi's belongings and were driving them across the country. All that was left were enough clothes and personal items for she and Betsy, who was spending her last night in L.A. with Maya, to travel with tomorrow.

"You've been ours too Naomi" Violet said.

"Yeah right" Naomi laughed. "Me and all my drama have taken up way too much precious time. But I want you guys to know that I'm only a phone call, and if necessary, a plane ride away. I'll be there whenever you need me".

"The same goes for me" Charlotte said, breaking their group hug. "If you need me for anything, I'm a phone call or a plane ride away".

"Me too" Violet agreed. "And we'll see each other again soon, we promised. Every three months we're picking a place and meeting up for the weekend remember" she reminded them.

"Yes" Naomi shouted, immediately feeling a little better. "Since you get to choose our first destination, have you come up with any ideas yet" she asked.

A sly smile appeared on Violet's face. "I was thinking Miami. South Beach, drinking and Latin dancing on a hot summer night seems pretty irresistible to me. What do you guys think"?

"I know we don't agree on much but that sounds PERFECT" Charlotte said excited. "I wish our three months was up tomorrow".

"Same here" Naomi agreed. "Hopefully in three months I'll be settled into my new environment. I know I'm doing the right thing but this is so scary. After Betsy and I get on the plane tomorrow morning, there's no looking back".

"It will be okay Naomi, you're strong" Charlotte said, consoling her.

Violet paused briefly, looking uncomfortable, before she pulled out an envelope from her purse. She'd forgotten about the letter until now. "Speaking of which, Addison asked me to give this to you before you left. I tried to convince her to come over here with me but she didn't think it was a good idea".

Naomi stared at the envelope and reluctantly took it from Violet, not sure what to expect in the letter's contents. Her hands began shaking slightly.

"I guess we should get going. Have a safe flight and call us when you get settled" Charlotte said opening the door.

"I will" Naomi said, giving them both one last hug before she watched them get into their cars and drive away. Closing the door behind her, she walked into her empty family room and sat down in the middle of the floor. Hands still trembling, she opened Addison's letter and began to read.

**_Dear Naomi,_**

**_How did we get so far off course? I've reread you letter over and over again. After serious thought, I've come to the conclusion that you are right. Our friendship has been in a steep decline for years now; I can't believe we didn't notice it sooner. However, not once during our twenty year friendship did I think an obstacle would be too big to overcome. But I also didn't count on falling for my best friend's ex-husband either. That goes to show how much I know. I was living in a fantasy world made of rainbows and cotton candy where problems miraculously disappear. But problems don't evaporate on their own, do they? You have to work hard, not only to fix problems, but to find the source of problems to prevent them from happening again. We didn't do that, we masked our issues and differences subsequently letting the tension and anger escalate until it destroyed everything in its path. Not everyone finds a best friend and we took our special relationship for granted and threw it right down the drain._**

**_Words cannot articulate how sorry I am about the things I said at the hospital that day. I was in so much pain over losing my mother but that is still no excuse. I know what type of person you are and I know you would never intentionally stab me in the back, even if you felt it was done to you. As far as Sam…I don't even know where to begin. I really was naïve enough to believe that you would eventually get over me loving him, even come to understand why I love him. If anyone knows why Sam is so lovable, it's you. It never occurred to me once that you might still be in love with him. My first thought was to ask why you didn't tell me. But like you said, I should have known even when you didn't. That's a best friend's job. My next thought was wondering if you weren't in love with him, would it make a difference. It wouldn't have, would it? You still would have been deeply hurt and upset. I was so busy trying to justify being with Sam, I don't think I ever truly looked at it from your side, no matter how many times you tried to explain it to me. Now I understand and now it's too late. Sorry doesn't even feel adequate enough to express my deep remorse. I don't even know what I could possibly do to fix this Nae. Whether I'm with Sam or not, I know the damage has already been done. There's no going back and pretending none of this ever happened._**

**_Geez Naomi, this can't really be the ending for us though, can it? Are you really telling me nothing can be done? I agree we need space, time to get ourselves together as individuals, time to heal, but this hiatus can't be a lifelong sentence. Even through our ups and downs, we both know we're stronger together. You told me mistakes don't make us bad people, we're supposed to learn and grow from them. Letting our friendship deteriorate was a mistake but I have to have faith that we'll repair the damage, and repair what's been broken. I need you and I love you just like I know you love me and need me. We're yin and yang, salt and pepper, ebony and ivory. I have to have hope or I'll go insane with more grief. So, I'm dedicating this letter to hope; hope that one day we'll find our way back to each other._**

**_All my love and hope,_**

**_Addison_**

Naomi gently placed the letter down on the floor in front of her. Deep down inside, she hoped too. As much as Addison had hurt her, writing that letter was not easy. If there was a way she could have fixed her relationship with her former best friend, she would have done it before writing that letter. She hadn't seen one but that didn't mean a solution wouldn't present itself later down the road when they both had more perspective. Taking her cellphone out of her pocket, she looked up Addison's number and stared at it. Before she lost her nerve, Naomi sent her a short text saying _**"I hope so too"**_ and hit send before she could change her mind. A sudden knock on the door jarred her, causing her to drop her phone. Did Addison change her mind about coming over? Tentatively walking towards the door, she took a deep breath and yanked on the doorknob. The last person she was expecting was standing on her doorstep. "Jordan" she whispered, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her.

"Naomi" he groaned. Jordan didn't even wait to be invited in; his need to touch Naomi's soft fragrant skin was too powerful. He didn't notice the empty rooms or bare walls. All he saw was her. He was barely across the threshold before he wrapped his hands around her and greeted her lips with his. He moaned in relief; being near her again had been the only thing on his mind for the last couple of months.

Naomi was overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. She needed to stop Jordan, tell him what had happened in his absence, explain the changes in her life, and ask him where he'd been for two months. But she couldn't bring herself to stop Jordan's soft lips from caressing hers, or his strong muscular arms from grabbing her and pulling her against his solid chest, or letting his masculine scent invade her nostrils. God, she'd missed him, more than she realized. Doing the right thing was hard; walking away from Sam and Addison was one of the most difficult things she'd done. Though heartbreaking, it had been necessary for all three of them. But after being so self-sacrificing, Naomi felt like being selfish. She refused to deny herself the pleasure of being with Jordan even if it was just one last time. Besides, being with him didn't pose complications like being with Sam did. Fully giving into Jordan's affections, she pressed tighter against him, feasted on his mouth, held on to his strong shoulders for dear life.

Jordan couldn't believe she was in his arms again. Kissing down her neck, he frantically began removing her clothes and backing her further into the house until they tumbled and fell on the stairs. His hands couldn't reach Naomi's skin fast enough.

Naomi moaned from simultaneous pain and pleasure as her back crashed against the wooden steps. Feeling just as feverish as Jordan, she ripped his shirt over his head and undressed the rest of him before pulling him close again. She gasped when she felt the full weight of his manhood pressing against her; her sweet spot ached with a ferocious burning desire.

Spreading her legs apart, Jordan entered her with a sense of urgency. He sighed; home was between Naomi's thighs, he finally felt like he was home. Pushing deeper and deeper, he was discovering new rooms in his home he never knew existed. He grabbed her hips and pushed deeper still.

Throwing her head back, Naomi continued to gasp like she was short on oxygen. Each time she recovered her breath, Jordan would push inside her again, eliciting the most sensational feelings. Her body tingled from the inside out. By the time Jordan coaxed her body to climax, she was completely spent.

Jordan collapsed, halfway on top of Naomi, the other part of his body landing on the stairs. He kissed her glowing skin all over. "God, I missed you" he groaned.

"I missed you too" Naomi panted, kissing him on the lips.

Rolling over until his back rested on the stairs, Jordan pulled Naomi on top of him until she straddled him. "I'm sorry I've been so unreachable the last couple of months. A lot of things were going on" he said, stroking her cheek.

Naomi sat up straighter, suddenly feeling indecent and exposed. She looked around for any article of clothing to cover herself but they were thrown across the room. "A lot happened here too" she admitted, afraid to look Jordan in the eye. She started to rise to retrieve her shirt, but Jordan kept her planted in his lap.

Jordan's heart sank a little. Forcing her to look at him, he said "Why do I have a feeling this has something to do with your ex-husband"?

"Because it does, or at least part of it" Naomi admitted.

"I was right wasn't I? He admitted he was still in love with you and tried to get you back" Jordan asked, bracing himself.

Naomi took a deep breath. "Yes. You were right about something else too". She hesitated before continuing "As much as I denied it and tried to fight it, I realized I was still in love with him".

Jordan felt his chest tighten. He'd suspected as much from day one, but to have it confirmed...he didn't know what to say or how to react.

"Sam kept pushing me until I was forced to confront my feelings. I was happy living in denial" Naomi continued frantically while she could. "But the craziest part of having to own up to my feelings was realizing I had to acknowledge the truth about you too. I was running away from my feelings for you as well; I was scared to admit I was in love with you too. I never knew it was possible to love two men at the same time but I do. I love you Jordan" she confessed.

Jordan sat up and pressed his bare chest against Naomi's, pulled her tight. "Words can't express how much I love you" he whispered, kissing her all over her face. Pulling back slightly, he asked "But where do we go from here? How am I supposed to compete with all the history you share with Sam"?

"You don't have to compete with him. I can't be with him; things are too messy and Addison is stuck right in the middle. I couldn't deal with drama" Naomi explained.

"So...what does that mean? Are you choosing to be with me by default? Because that's just the greatest feeling in the world" Jordan said sarcastically, feeling hurt and defensive.

"No" Naomi exclaimed. "I'm not choosing to be with anyone, I not making any more major decisions when it comes to my love life. My life has completely shifted. Look around you Jordan; do you see any furniture or paintings on the wall? I'm leaving Los Angeles and starting over. If you had showed up tomorrow, I wouldn't even be here. And I have another person to care for. Do you remember when I wanted to leave Africa early because of Dell's daughter? Well, it turns out she was being abused in her foster home and when she wound up in the hospital, I decided to take her home with me. She is my top priority now".

Jordan looked around the house, stunned at how empty it appeared. Naomi had completely consumed his mind, making him oblivious to his surroundings. "Then why did you let me make love to you" he asked, calmer.

"Because" Naomi said, kissing Jordan, "I wanted to be selfish one last time. In the morning everything changes. I have to pick up Betsy and we're off to a new world. Everything I do from now on will be about her".

"Where are you guys moving" Jordan asked.

"Atlanta. Maya and her husband got into school there and an old friend of mine, Fife, is going to help run an office for the foundation with me. We're creating a partnership since the foundation will be financially backing his new research project".

"Fife? That's not who I think it is, is it? Don't tell me he's still in love with you too" Jordan complained.

Naomi chuckled. "No, we're just friends. It's all business related".

Jordan breathed a sigh of relief. "Wait, did you say you're moving to Atlanta" he asked, backtracking a little.

"Yeah, why" Naomi asked.

Shaking his head in disbelief, he answered. "Because I am too. The CDC liked the research I was doing so they hired me to head their HIV/AIDS department. I'm even in the process of moving my son here. That's why I haven't called you. I've been so busy getting things in order".

"Jordan, that's great" Naomi exclaimed, hugging him. "I'm so proud of you. Congratulations"!

"It is great! That means there's no reason we can't be together. I was wondering all the way over here how I was going to convince you to admit you love me and to get you to move across the country, yet somehow you've managed to do it on your own. Its fate Naomi, we belong together. Things like this just don't happen" Jordan said.

"I don't know Jordan. I really need to focus on Betsy right now. I need to make sure she's comfortable around me first before I start letting strangers into her life. And can you honestly deal with me having feelings for my ex-husband"?

"We can take it slow" Jordan suggested. "You don't have to introduce me to Betsy until you're ready. I'll do the same with my son Jacob. As far as Sam goes, he'll be on the opposite end of the country. As long as I know you love me, that's all I'm concerned about".

"I really do love you" Naomi said.

"Then prove it" he whispered. "Give us a chance" Jordan pleaded, lifting Naomi up slightly and inserting himself back inside her, impaling her.

Naomi bit her lip but couldn't prevent a small moan from escaping her mouth. "I don't know why I even bother arguing with you" she moaned again, moving against him.

"Neither do I" Jordan said, kissing her.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

The sun was barely peaking over the horizon when Naomi opened her eyes. She looked over at Jordan who was lying next to her, still asleep. Usually it was the other way around; she would wake up to find him staring at her. Every morning with him was a new adventure she couldn't wait to experience. To even think she had reservations about being with Jordan only a short year ago was preposterous to her now. They had initially taken it slow, like he had suggested, when they first moved to Atlanta. But every second they spent together continued to get better and better until Naomi couldn't even get a good night's sleep when Jordan wasn't near her. Three months into their relationship, Naomi introduced Jordan to Betsy and she finally met his son Jacob. Both children seemed hesitant at first to accept their respective parents' significant other, but as more time passed, things just seemed to click into place. Within six months of moving to Atlanta, Jordan officially moved in with Naomi and Betsy and it had been smooth sailing ever since. This was the happiest Naomi had been in the last five years; she was so thankful that her life had finally started to get back on track. She had another wonderful daughter to love and care for and an amazing man in her life. And today called for even more excitement than usual. Her friends were coming to visit her and she had some news to share. They had kept their promise and reunited on mini-vacations every three months, but this weekend would be the first time they would be coming to see her in Georgia. The pure joy she felt about seeing her friends in a few hours is what compelled her to wake up much earlier than normal. There was no way she could force herself to go back to sleep. What was she going to do to pass the time?

She looked over at Jordan again. He was so sexy, even when he slept. Leaning over, she placed soft sweet kisses all over his face. He stirred but didn't wake up. Naomi smiled; she knew what would get his attention. Reaching under the covers, she slipped her hands into his boxers and began stroking his big penis. Almost instantly, he started grow, harden. He began to groan but his eyes remained closed. A small smile appeared on his face; he was definitely awake now. "So you want to play hard ball" Naomi purred in his ear. Accepting his challenge she straddled him. He was already so rigid, his manhood was poking through his boxers. Already panty free under her nightshirt, she began rubbing her slippery wet clit against him. His reached out to grab her waist. "Yeah, that's what I thought" she moaned. She teased him further, pressing the opening of her sweet spot against his head, but she was careful to deny him entry.

Jordan's eyes popped open. "Naomi" he groaned loudly. He ripped her shirt off and began kissing and sucking her skin. She continued to tease the tip of his penis but refused to relieve the pressure building. "Shit" he yelled.

"Shhhh" Naomi panted. "Don't wake up Betsy"

"Then put me out of my misery" he moaned and pleaded.

"That's what you get for pretending to be sleep" Naomi teased, blowing in his ear. Torturing him was fun but it was starting to become hell for her too. She didn't know much longer she could hold out.

Naomi wasn't the only one who could play games. Nothing weakened and softened her up like a passionate kiss. Pulling her down to his level, he kissed her slow and deeply, pulling on her bottom lip. She lost it. Before she could regain control, he slipped inside of her, pushing hard and deep.

"That was a low dirty trick" she complained between moans.

"But you like it, don't you" he said, thrusting deep again while he fondled, kissed, and sucked her heated skin.

Naomi gasped, her mouth opening wide trying to suck in air. She bit Jordan's shoulder to keep from screaming. "You don't play fair at all" she whimpered, moving slowly against him.

"Neither do you" he groaned, before he grabbed her hips and flipped her over and got on top of her. He grabbed her thighs and spread them further apart, trying to drive as deep as he could. He kept pushing and pushing, moving in and out of her until his thighs began to cramp.

She was seconds away from cumming. Wrapping her legs around him, Naomi buried her face in his neck as her toes cramped and the floodgates opened. Her chest heaved up and down as continuous waves rolled through her body.

"Now that's what I call a good morning" Jordan panted, holding her close.

"I couldn't agree more" Naomi smiled.

"What else can we do" he asked.

She bit and sucked on his bottom lip. "I can think a few things" she teased.

"Mmmmm" Jordan moaned, already grabbing Naomi's thighs. "Wait" he stopped. "Won't your friends be here soon"?

Naomi glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "We've got time" she said, kissing him.

...

Naomi and Jordan stood in the front doorway of their house kissing.

"Mom" Betsy whined. "Please let Jordan go. He supposed to drive me to soccer practice. I'm going to be late" she complained.

"Just a minute" Naomi said, in between kisses.

"You guys are so gross" Betsy mumbled.

"I agree" said a voice walking up the driveway.

"Violet" Betsy shouted, pushing through Naomi and Jordan to run and hug her.

"Hey sweetie! How are you doing" Violet asked, hugging her back.

Naomi finally broke apart from Jordan and saw that not only had Violet arrived, but Charlotte, Amelia, and Addison were with her. "Hey guys" she said excitedly as she watched Betsy hug all the women.

"Hey ladies" Jordan said, standing behind Naomi and wrapping his hands around her waist.

"Jordan, it's great to see you but don't get too comfortable. Now that we're here, this is a woman zone only. Time for you leave" Charlotte said bluntly, cutting to the chase.

"And I have soccer practice" Betsy reminded him.

Jordan chuckled. "I'm coming" he told Betsy. "And don't worry, I made enough plans this weekend to stay out of the way. Have a nice weekend ladies" he said, squeezing Naomi and kissing her on the cheek before he walked away.

"Bye mom" Betsy said, running up to hug Naomi before she ran after Jordan.

"Bye! Love you guys" she yelled after them.

"Love you too" they yelled back.

"You guys are so adorable, it's sickening" Amelia said.

"I mean really, Cooper and I look like we hate each other compared to you two" Charlotte joked.

Naomi laughed. "I missed you guys! Come on in". As they entered her house, she gave each woman a long hug. Addison was last; it was the first time they'd seen each other since Naomi left Los Angeles. "It's good to see you Addison, you look great" she said.

"So do you" Addison said, hugging Naomi extra tight.

"Your home is beautiful" Violet said looking around, the other ladies nodding in agreement.

"Thank you" Naomi said. "I actually have a whole spread for us set up by the pool out back. I'll tell you where the guest rooms are so you can change and meet me out there". She turned to Addison "Can we speak in private for a few minutes"?

"Sure" Addison said.

"Oh thank God! You two should totally get the awkward conversation over with so it doesn't ruin the whole weekend" Amelia blurted out. Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. "I know, I know; I need to filter" she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm starting to think that's impossible" Violet mumbled.

"It is possible" Amelia defended. "Oh, and thank you for finally inviting me on one of these trips even though I know you only did it so I wouldn't feel left out when you invited Addison" she added, completely proving Violet's point.

Naomi just shook her head in amusement. "No problem Amelia. There are two guest rooms upstairs to the right and two more downstairs in the basement. Pick a room and make your selves comfortable. Addison and I will meet you outside in a few" she said, grabbing Addison's hand and leading her into the living room. They sat down on opposite ends of the couch and stared at each other for a few moments. Neither woman knew exactly how to start the conversation. They'd started communicating again through email correspondence about three months ago. Naomi had finally gotten around to emptying the final boxes after her move and found a bunch of old photo albums. So many of the pictures she went through had Addison in them. And for the first time in a long time, when Naomi thought about her old friend, she could only remember the good times. The nostalgia had been so strong, Naomi had gotten the courage to send Addison a short but sweet email, hoping she was doing okay. Addison responded in kind and eventually the emails became longer and more frequent between them. When Naomi had finalized plans with Charlotte and Violet for them to visit her in Atlanta, she'd decided it was time for her and Addison to reconnect, to see if they could finally put the past behind them once and for all. But now that they were face to face, it proved to be slightly more difficult than writing an email.

"You look happy. Atlanta really agrees with you" Addison finally said, breaking the ice.

"Thank you Addy. I am happy, I really like it here. How have you been doing? How is Los Angeles treating you"?

"I'm doing great. I met this guy named Jake; he like no one I've ever met. There's just something different about him but in a good way" Addison said, her eyes going dreamy.

"I see" Naomi said with a knowing smile.

"I know what you're thinking but we're just dating. I don't want to rush into anything. I'm taking my time especially after…." Addison didn't finish her sentence.

"It's okay, you can mention Sam" Naomi reassured. "We can't truly move on if we're afraid to bring up the past. I'm not saying I want to relive it, but we can't pretend it doesn't exist".

"Do you think we can truly move on" Addison asked.

"I'd be lying if didn't admit that when I think about you two together, I still feel a pang of discomfort in my gut. Just like I know there are some things I've done that might still irritate you. But now that I've had time and space to heal, to reevaluate, one thing became painfully clear. I miss you Addison, I miss the friendship we had before things turned sour. And if there's even a slight chance we can get that back, it's worth it. I just want to make sure moving forward, that we never take each other for granted again. So if you willing to let go of the past and forgive, so am I" Naomi said, her eyes becoming misty.

"I'm more than willing" Addison said, reaching out to hug Naomi. "I just want to say one thing though. I truly am sorry for coming between you and Sam. Even if you were accepting of us, it was never going to work between us, I can see that now. In the end, I don't even think what we shared was love, it was the idea of love. We were friends and we should have stayed that way; we're just now getting back to being friends".

Naomi hugged her back. "That's sweet of you to say but things happen for a reason. I'm glad you two are able to remain friends. Sam and I…we just weren't meant to be. Jordan on the other hand, he makes me so happy. He's the reason I wake up with a smile on my face every morning".

"That's great Nae, truly" Addison said beaming.

Naomi looked down at the floor. She tried not to ask, but the words slipped out anyway. "How is Sam doing these days"?

Addison studied Naomi for a minute before answering. "He's fine. He's really fine. Spends more at time at the hospital than the practice these days; I think surgery makes him feel more useful. I don't think he dates much. Hasn't had a serious relationship since you left".

"That's good" Naomi said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"He told me the truth about what really happened between you two last year" Addison revealed.

Naomi looked up in surprise. "He did"?

"Yes, before you left" Addison confirmed.

"Why didn't he…or you tell me" Naomi asked.

"I didn't know what to say or how to feel. I thought I was in love with him at the time. Sam didn't say anything because he thought it wouldn't have kept you from leaving. He thought whatever you were looking for wasn't with him. And he was right; Jordan was what you needed. Right"?

"Right" Naomi said, her voice not too convincing. The information Addison had just dropped on her had thrown her for a loop. She shook her head slightly, trying to digest what she'd just learned. At the end of the day, none of what Addison said mattered she told herself. Jordan was it for her; he made her life complete. "I know we're supposed to be moving on but I want to say one more thing to you too. I'm sorry for my actions. What Sam and I did behind your back was wrong. No matter the circumstances or feelings involved, we were wrong to do that to you" Naomi said sincerely. That had been bothering her for a long time; she couldn't believe Addison had known about them all this time. That Sam had told her the truth before that last moment in her office….

"I appreciate that Naomi, I really do but like we said, it's time to move on. So can we agree that all hard feelings are out the window? Are we done apologizing" she asked.

Naomi smiled "We're done".

"Good, because I've been dying to ask you what the hell is this" Addison asked excitedly, holding up Naomi's left hand.

Naomi looked down at the sparkling four carat diamond platinum ring on her finger. "I should have known you would notice. Jordan proposed to me last week. We're getting married" she smiled, her cheeriness returning in full.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it! Congratulations" Addison screamed so loud, the other ladies ran into the room.

"What's going on? Don't tell me you guys still hate each other? I thought you'd really work it out this time" Amelia said pouting.

"We have" Naomi said.

"We totally have" Addison agreed. "I was yelling because of this" she said, holding up Naomi's hand for everyone to see.

"You're engaged" Violet shouted. "That's great, I'm so happy for you" she said, reaching down to give Naomi a hug.

"Congratulations" Charlotte said happily, giving Naomi a hug too.

"That's awesome" Amelia said.

"Thank you" Naomi said. "And you all will be getting invitations to my wedding unlike other folks" she hinted, looking at Charlotte.

"For the umpteenth time, I'm sorry. Our families were driving us crazy; they gave us no choice but to elope" Charlotte lamented. "It's been close to a year now, cut me some slack. Besides, I intend to invite all of you to my baby shower" she smiled, letting the cat out of the bag.

"You're pregnant" Naomi asked, jumping off the couch to hug her. "Oh my God, this day cannot get any better" she said as the other women hugged Charlotte too.

"Not even if I told you that my adoption paperwork went through and a birth mom has chosen me. If everything works out, I'll be a mommy in three months" Addison announced. "And for once, I have a boyfriend whose fine with my desire to be a mom. Jake loves kids" she added.

"You cannot be serious right now" Amelia exclaimed. "That's great Addy" she said hugging her.

"I'm so happy for you. I know how long you've wanted to be a mom" Naomi said, turning her attention back to her old friend. Tears began leaking from her eyes. She and her friends were all going through so many wonderful changes. "I'm so glad we were able to work through our issues. I would've have been so sad to miss this time in your life" Naomi said, embracing Addison.

"Me too Nae, me too" Addison said crying as she held onto Naomi for dear life.

* * *

**Hey guys! I don't think I say it enough, but thanks so much for reading and supporting this story. I really appreciate it! I appreciate everyone's comments; I think it's really great to see the differing opinions. Please keep them coming. Also, another Naomi themed story has popped into my head but I'm not sure if I should post it. What do you guys think? Would you be interested in another Naomi story? Please let me know! Thanks!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

As Naomi sat on the couch in the living room watching TV, she heard the garage door opening. Jordan was finally home. It was after eight; he'd been working more hours than usual lately. Things must be really stressful at his job.

"Hello" Jordan's voice rang when he entered the house through the kitchen.

"Hey baby, I'm in the den" Naomi replied.

Jordan walked into the room and plopped down on the couch next to her. Wrapping his arm around her, he lowered his face towards hers and kissed her softly on the lips. "How was your day" he asked, between the additional soft kisses he gave her.

Naomi smiled as she kissed him back. "It was fine. Fife is driving me crazy as usual. We can't seem to agree on anything lately" she said. Burrowing into his chest, she continued "I missed you".

"I missed you too. I always miss you when we're apart" Jordan said.

"Then maybe you should start coming home sooner" she teased, rubbing his chest.

"I wish I could but our department has been really busy. Work just keeps piling up. I'm sorry" he apologized.

"I know" Naomi pouted. "Maybe I'll start making late night visits to the office" she whispered, blowing in his ear.

Jordan grabbed her closer. "Don't you dare. I don't want anyone seeing your blessed gifts but me" he said, kissing her again, this time more deeply.

Naomi giggled like a little school girl until Jordan started kissing down her neck, triggering her hot spots. "Mmmm" she moaned, as her body melted in his arms. When he lowered her back onto the couch she didn't object. She opened her legs just enough for him to fit between and cover his body with hers. They started making out teenagers, kissing and touching like it was their first time.

"Where's Betsy" Jordan asked, his voice husky with lust. He didn't want her to walk in on them in a compromising situation…again. Poor kid.

"She's at a sleepover, remember" Naomi reminded him, sucking on his bottom lip.

"Good" Jordan mumbled, unbuttoning Naomi's shirt. His hands were moving to unhook her bra when his phone began vibrating.

"Don't answer it" Naomi begged.

"I have to. It could be an emergency" Jordan said, though he was equally upset. He looked at the caller ID. It was from London; his brother was calling. "Why is Jeremy calling me? It almost three o'clock in the morning over there" he wondered aloud as he answered the phone. As he listened to the first words that left his brother's mouth, he immediately went stiff. He automatically got off the couch and walked into another room.

Naomi sat up on the couch and looked after him in bewilderment. Since when did he need to leave the room to talk on the phone? Even when there were emergencies or serious discussions going on, Jordan never left the room. He and Naomi confided in each other about everything. That's how their friendship had begun and how their romantic relationship had continued. Naomi was tempted to get up and follow him, but she trusted him and didn't want to appear as if she didn't. It did leave her curious though. "Is everything okay" she asked when Jordan appeared back in the room.

"I don't know" Jordan said, looking agitated. "Apparently my mother hasn't been feeling well and the doctors have decided to run some tests. The doctors haven't diagnosed with anything yet but she's completely freaking out, insisting all of her kids come home. I told him I'd be on the first plane out of Atlanta in the morning".

"Oh no, I'm so sorry baby" Naomi said, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close to comfort him. "Do you want me to go with you? Betsy can always stay with Maya and Dink for a few days".

"No, it's okay. We don't know if it's serious yet, so I don't want to pull you away from work unnecessarily. I already hate the idea of having to miss work myself, considering how swamped we've been. But I have to be there for my mum. Hopefully everything works out for the best, but if it doesn't, you'll be the first one I call. Your support means everything to me" Jordan said. His body tensed with obvious worry.

"That's what partners do. Are you sure you don't want me to come? I don't care if it turns out to be just a scare, I want to be there for you" Naomi insisted.

"I'm sure but I'll keep calling you to keep you updated. I don't want you to worry" he promised. Standing up, he reached for Naomi's hand. "Come on, let's go to bed. I want to hold you close before I get on a plane in the morning" he said, leading the way upstairs to their bedroom.

….

"You're going to London again" Naomi complained. "This is the fifth time in the last three months. And let me guess, you don't need me to come with you". She was starting to get fed up; what was so important that Jordan felt the need to fly home so often? The stories he was giving were no longer sitting well with her. For the first time since they'd met, she felt like he wasn't being honest with her. Finishing up her makeup in the mirror, she walked into her closet to find something to wear for the day.

"I can't help it if everything came crashing down at once. It's not my fault my family decided to implode on itself. But they're my family, I have to be there for them" Jordan argued, following behind her.

"I understand that but either they're taking advantage of your kindness or you're not telling me the whole story. I don't' care what's going on, nothing warrants flying across the Atlantic ocean five times in three months; especially when you insist I stay behind. How is everything an emergency but not urgent enough to want me by your side. It makes no sense Jordan" Naomi said.

"Someone has to be here for Betsy. We have our own lives to live here in Atlanta. Just because my world has been disrupted doesn't mean I have to drag you into it" Jordan reasoned.

"That's exactly what it means. As a couple, we share each other's burdens" Naomi explained.

"Only when there's no other path to take. In this case, I have the luxury of sparing you and I intend to keep doing that as long as possible" Jordan countered.

"Whatever" Naomi said, too irritated to keep going around in circles. "All I know is that if you can find the time to keep flying to London, you can spare a weekend to fly to Los Angeles with me for Addison's wedding. It's in two months and you still haven't given me an answer".

"You know I can't plan that far in advance with my job" Jordan said.

"Jordan, it's just two days! She's my best friend and I want you by my side. And who knows, maybe seeing someone else get married will actually inspire you. I mean seriously, we've been engaged for six months and we haven't agreed on a wedding date. Usually it's the woman who drags her feet, not the man" she criticized.

"What is this; crap on Jordan day" he asked, frustrated. "I don't even know why you're so eager to go to her wedding anyway. What if she was marrying Sam? Would you still be this excited"?

"Don't go there. You know how hard we worked to repair our friendship; for you to throw that in my face is uncalled for" Naomi said, turning around to look at Jordan like he'd lost his mind.

"First of all, you shouldn't even care, you're marrying me remember" Jordan reminded her, like she'd forgotten. "And secondly, I don't even know why you took Addison back as your friend. She's selfish and needy and does nothing but weigh you down" Jordan ranted.

Naomi paused; who was the man standing in front of her? It couldn't be her fiancé, the man she loved and adored. "This coming from the man who won't let me set a wedding date. What the hell has gotten into you? Where is all this sudden hatred towards Addison coming from? You used to be the one telling me how important it was to forgive her, how our friendship was too important to let it go. You were so supportive when I invited her to come to Atlanta".

"I'm entitled to change my mind. If I've learned anything over the past three months, it's that you should let the past stay in the past. And Addison is your past. Los Angeles is your past; there's no need for you to go back there" Jordan said.

"Who exactly taught you that lesson" Naomi questioned. "And why am I getting the feeling this has nothing to do with Addison. You don't want me to go to her wedding because you don't want me around Sam" she said, seeing through his weak arguments.

"Can you blame me? You admitted you were still in love with him when we moved out here! You're damn right; I don't want you anywhere near Sam" he yelled, grabbing her.

"I thought we were past this; you said you could handle it" Naomi vented, pushing against his chest. "Besides, that was over a year ago. I would never let you put this ring on my finger if I wasn't fully committed to you".

"You're a very clever woman Naomi; but I've been around you long enough to know when you're skirting the issue. You say you're committed to me but I didn't hear you say you weren't still in love with Sam" Jordan called her out.

"I didn't realize I had to; you should know. Your problem is that you want to hear me say that I don't love him at all. I can't do that Jordan. He is the father of my child. I don't care where life takes me, I can never stop loving him for that reason alone. But as far as who I'm in love with, who I want to spend the rest of my life with, that's you. Don't ruin us. If anyone is going to come between us, it's you, not Sam" Naomi said.

Jordan let her go and backed up. "Is that supposed to make me feel more comfortable about you going to Los Angeles? Newsflash, it doesn't".

Naomi wanted to pull her hair out; she groaned in frustration. "It's like you're not hearing one word I say. Why are you acting so freaking paranoid? How did this conversation even get turned around on me? We're supposed to be talking about your frequent trips to London and why you never want me to come with you. Who is over there whispering in your ear and turning you into a mad man"?!

Sighing, Jordan left the closet without saying anything.

Naomi was so flustered and upset, her skin was itching. She had to get out of the house before she completely lost it. For some unknown reason, she and Jordan couldn't get on the same page lately. Grabbing the first dress and pair of heels she saw, she slipped them on. Not even bothering to look at her fiancé, she slipped on the rest of her jewelry and headed for the bedroom door.

"You're not going to say goodbye to me" Jordan asked from where he had plopped down on the bed.

Naomi sighed and looked back at him. "Honestly, I don't know what to say to you right now. Everything turns into an argument and I'm tired of arguing. So, I'm just going to go to work and hopefully we'll both be in a better mood this evening". She started to leave again when she felt Jordan reach out and grab her hand.

"Don't leave. We can't leave things like this" Jordan said, pulling her back until she was standing between his thighs. He laid his head against her stomach and inhaled her scent. She always smelled so good.

Part of her wanted to push him away but the other side, the side that won, wanted to pull him closer. Rubbing his head, Naomi said in a low voice "What is happening to us? I'm scared Jordan. Please tell me we're going to get through whatever this rough patch is".

Jordan looked up at her, saw the fear in her eyes. Pulling her down into his lap, he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "We're going to get through this, I promise" he said, pulling her face down to kiss her. It was a slow, soft, lazy, but deeply emotional kiss. When their lips broke apart, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers. "I love you" he said.

"I love you too" Naomi replied, kissing him on the bridge of his nose.


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay, this isn't my best work but I tried. Oh and just a little disclaimer: This chapter should probably be rated M...just so you know. :)**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"I can't wait to see my babies" Naomi said gleefully. I can't believe the triplets have been in this world for almost three months, and I've yet to meet them".

"Correction. They're mine and Cooper's babies" Charlotte said, smiling at Naomi's enthusiasm. "Do I need to hire a bodyguard? I don't want to take any chances with you stealing them".

"You just might have to" Naomi teased. "Tomorrow can't come soon enough".

"This day couldn't have come sooner either" Charlotte said. "Look at Addison, she looks so deliriously happy. I'm glad she finally got her fairytale ending".

"I am too" Naomi said sincerely. "Even with all our ups and downs over the years, I'm honored I was able to see this moment. That little Henry is precious". Naomi shifted her focus from Addison with her new husband and five month old son to the guests gathered on the hotel rooftop for Jake and Addison's wedding reception and smiled. There were so many familiar faces she hadn't seen in years. It made her heart swell to see her friends so happy. Cooper was showing pictures of his daughters to anyone who would look. Sheldon and Amelia were both fawning over their new significant others. It looked like they both might be making a trip down the aisle behind Addison soon. Pete was twirling Violet around on the dance floor; after all they'd been through, it was great to see them looking more solid than ever. As Naomi took in all her surroundings, a strong bout of wistfulness hit her. As much as she loved Atlanta, she missed Los Angeles. Having spent half her life there, it still felt like home.

"Look who's coming this way" Charlotte said.

Naomi followed Charlotte's line of sight until it dead ended into Sam's face. Butterflies began to flutter in the pit of her stomach. She hated to admit it, but the whole flight to LA, she'd wondered what it would be like to see her ex-husband again after almost two years of no communication. Jordan's paranoia had made her doubt herself. She'd first seen Sam shortly before the wedding began; she'd been stunned by how handsome he looked. It was amazing how much you could take someone's looks for granted when you saw them every day. But other than that, it had been just really nice to see him; it felt like running into an old friend after losing touch for a few years. However, they hadn't gotten a chance to actually to speak each other yet. After the ceremony, Naomi had been stopped by so many people who wanted to know what her life on the east coast was like. Now the moment of truth had finally come; her real test was about to begin. Sam stopped right in front of her and smiled that easy slow lazy smile of his.

"Hello Naomi".

"Hello Sam".

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were been avoiding me" Sam said, his tone indicating how serious he was.

Out of the corner of her eye, Naomi saw Charlotte quietly slip away to give them privacy. "I haven't been avoiding you; it's just been a busy night catching up with a lot of people. But I would never leave without seeing you" Naomi said earnestly, matching Sam's intensity.

"Well, in that case, will you join me for a dance…for old times' sake" he asked, holding out his hand.

"Sure, I'd loved to" she said, placing her hand in his and allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. When Sam wrapped his arm around her waist, it felt so natural. Naomi automatically felt protected and safe. She had to stop herself from resting her head on his shoulder.

"You look good. Atlanta must be treating you well" Sam commented. In his eyes, Naomi was even more beautiful than the day he'd met her. How did she always manage to exceed his expectations? He longed to hold her closer.

"Thank you. You look good too. I heard through the grapevine you were doing surgeries again; it's changed you. You look so much more settled". Something about Sam seem so calm in peaceful. He didn't have that restless air about him anymore; his new energy suited him.

"Thank you. Speaking of the grapevine, congratulations on your engagement; I'm happy you finally found what you were looking for" Sam said quietly. He truly was happy for her, but it was bittersweet for him. It'd taken him a long time to finally accept that Naomi wouldn't find her way back to him.

"Thank you".

"Where are Jordan and Betsy? I thought they were coming with you" Sam asked.

"Jordan is in London on business. He tried to get out of it but couldn't. And Betsy is such a busy girl; she keeps me on my toes. Between school and all her extracurricular activities, I didn't want to disrupt her schedule so I let her stay behind with Maya. Maya's class schedule is so jam packed this semester, she couldn't get away either" Naomi explained.

"I know; I talked to her the other day. She's determined to finish school early even though she has a baby and a husband that keeps her busy. I'm proud of her" Sam beamed.

"I am too. We have a good kid" Naomi beamed back.

"Yep, we definitely make good babies" Sam said, with a mischievous undertone.

Naomi's heart fluttered. "So…ummm…are you dating anyone" she asked, changing the subject.

"I am actually. Her name is Stephanie; she's a nurse over at St. Ambrose's. She had to work today so she couldn't attend the wedding, but she told me she'd come to the reception when she got off".

"That's great. I look forward to meeting her" Naomi said, not sure how to feel. Nevertheless, If Sam was truly happy with her, then she would be happy for him.

"She is great. You'll like her" Sam said.

An awkward lull fell over them, neither one know exactly what to say to fill the void. In lieu of talking, they settled for staring at each other as they continued to dance slowly, swaying back in forth. When the music ended, Naomi dropped her hand from Sam's shoulder. "Thank you for the dance" she said.

"You're welcome" Sam said.

…

Naomi's eyes popped open, the events from earlier that evening still coursing through her head. What had compelled her to relive her dance with Sam in her dreams? Rubbing her eyes, she sat up in bed and looked around the foreign hotel room. Although Addison had offered to let her stay at her house, Naomi had chosen to stay at the hotel where the wedding took place. She didn't want to disturb them the newlyweds. The room was nearly pitch black; she glanced at the clock. It was after one in the morning. Already aware that trying to go back to sleep would be a failed mission, Naomi got up and walked out onto the balcony. It was a warm night, but the breeze made it feel nice and airy. The heat didn't stick to her and suffocate her like it did in Georgia. She could stay out her for hours, letting the nice weather relax her. Briefly, she remembered overhearing someone at the wedding mention there was a heated pool in another area of the massive hotel's rooftop. A late night swim was starting to sound good to Naomi; if she could expel some of the excess energy that had woken her up, maybe she could catch a few more hours of sleep before she visited Charlotte and the babies later that day. It was also the ideal time for privacy; she and her thoughts would be alone. Though being with her thoughts could potentially be dangerous; Sam was still lingering around the edges of her mind. To Naomi's dismay, she'd discovered that he still had the power to affect her. That's why she'd ended their dance so abruptly. And now she was dreaming about him.

Walking back into the room, Naomi unzipped her luggage and rummaged inside looking for a bathing suit. Maya had been nice enough to pack for her but she hadn't had time to inspect exactly what her daughter had put in the suitcase. When Naomi finally found the barely there scanty black bikini, she cursed under her breath. She supposed it was a compliment that her daughter thought she was in good enough shape to pull off such risqué swimwear, but it wasn't Naomi's style at all. What was wrong with wearing a one piece these days? The only thing that stopped her from changing her mind about swimming was the fact she knew she would be alone. Shaking her head as she stripped out of her nightwear, she slid into the bikini and looked in the mirror. "I'm going to kill Maya" she mumbled, as she grabbed the complimentary terry cloth robe out of the bathroom and headed for the elevator.

The pool was nicely lit with underwater lights; there was a mild fog covering the surface due to the heating system causing the water to evaporate. Naomi took off her robe and walked to the edge of the pool. Dipping her toe to test the temperature, she sighed in pleasure. It was the perfect, not too hot or too cold. Not hesitating any further, she dove head first into the deep end and glided under the water. She didn't resurface for air until she had nearly reached the other end of the pool. Grabbing onto the ledge, she stood up in the shallow water and took a long deep breath.

"Well, hello stranger" a familiar voice said, almost petrifying her to death.

Jumping, Naomi looked up at the man towering over her. "Sam, you scared me! What are you doing up here at this time of night"? How did he always manage to pop up at the most inappropriate times?

"I could ask you the same thing" Sam deflected.

"You could, but I asked first so spill" Naomi demanded.

He knelt down in front of her. "Fine, I'll tell you. But do you mind if I take a lap first"? Sam tried to keep his eyes on Naomi's face as he spoke to her but her bathing suit, or lack thereof, was distracting him. The swell of her breasts, the flatness of her stomach, the tiny triangle barely covering her womanhood was throwing him for a loop.

Naomi had a feeling it wasn't a good idea, but who was she to deny access of public property to anyone, including her ex-husband. "I don't mind. Go ahead, take a lap".

Sam took off the terry cloth robe he was wearing. Naomi had to grit her teeth to keep her mouth from dropping open in awe. Forget a six-pack, he had more of a sixteen-pack. His body was completely ripped, clearly defined muscles from head to toe. He'd always exercised, kept his body in good shape, but Naomi couldn't remember him ever being this toned. Trying to distract herself, she said "Are those boxers Sam? Don't you have swim trunks"?

"I didn't plan on going swimming, so I didn't pack them" Sam said before walking to the other end of the pool, and diving in just like Naomi had done. When he reached the other end, he surfaced right next to Naomi but didn't stand up. He kept his body low, almost in a squatting position, pressing his back against the wall.

"So, what are you doing here? You have beach front property less than twenty miles from here" Naomi asked when he failed to speak. His closeness was making her nervous; she was floating in perilous territory. She lowered her body back into the water as well, trying to conceal parts of her body, though the water was see-through, especially with the lights. She tried to avoid looking at the way Sam's boxers clung to him, showcasing his manhood.

"I arranged a special night for Stephanie in the presidential suite with roses, strawberries, champagne and everything. But before I could surprise her, she broke up with me" Sam explained, somewhat detached. His voice betrayed no emotion.

"I'm so sorry. What happened? I wasn't aware she even made it to the reception, I didn't get a chance to meet her" Naomi said.

"From my understanding, she showed up right around the time I asked you to dance. She stood there and watched us; she claimed the way I looked at you….she thinks I'm still in love with you" Sam said.

"Well, you told her it wasn't true right" Naomi asked weakly, her heart thumping.

"Of course I did, but she didn't believe me. To be honest, I'm not sure I believe it myself. If it was up to me, our last conversation two years ago would have ended much differently" he admitted, studying her face for a reaction.

"Sam…it was probably just nostalgia she was witnessing. Give her time to calm down, she'll come to her senses" Naomi reasoned, choosing not to acknowledge Sam's mention of the past. She was scarcely holding onto her sanity to revisit days of long ago.

"You love to blame everything on nostalgia when you don't want to own up to your feelings" Sam pointed out. "Admit it, we still have the ability to get under each other's skin".

"Is that your way of asking if I still love you" Naomi asked. "Of course I do, I will always love you. I told you that two years ago and I mean that. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong about us feeling a little nostalgic; that's all it was. We've both moved on with other people".

"Have you really moved on because I'm starting to question if I have. It's easy to fool yourself when you have distance, when you don't have to see the object of your affection everyday" Sam said. He reached out and stroked Naomi's cheek. "But seeing you now, with each passing second, all of those old feelings and desires are rushing back". Gripping Naomi's waist, he guided her towards him and gave into his desires. Pressing his lips against hers, he began kissing her with every ounce of passion his body could muster. Her skin felt so soft and perfect underneath his touch. He pulled her closer until their bodies melted into each other. The round firmness of her breasts pressed against him felt like heaven.

Where had her steadfastness and resolve gone? She hadn't even put up a fight when Sam grabbed her; instead she'd practically leapt into his arms. God, he was a good kisser; his lips had magical powers. Naomi knew that if she had any chance of escaping, she had to break away now. Pushing against his chest, she panted "We can't do this". Dunking her head into the water, she began kicking and swam away until she reached the middle of the pool. Resting her head against the wall, she closed her eyes and tried to get her head together. Big mistake. Sam was nothing, if not persistent. She felt him coming before she even opened her eyes. When his hand touched her thigh, she shivered.

"What are the chances that we would end up…at the pool…alone…in the middle of the night….at the exact time" Sam asked, pausing periodically for emphasis. "Maybe the powers that be are trying to tell us something".

Naomi finally opened her eyes and looked directly into his. "And what exactly is that"?

"You already know" Sam whispered, moving in and kissing her once again.

And once again, Naomi couldn't resist his lips. She couldn't stop him from untying her bikini top or cupping her breasts. She couldn't stop him from ripping her flimsy bottom clean off and throwing it into the water. She couldn't stop him from stepping in between her thighs. She couldn't stop him from anything; she was too busy moaning and kissing him back to fight. But in one last feeble attempt, she whimpered "we shouldn't be doing this".

"And yet we're going to, aren't we" Sam asked, not needing an answer. Letting his boxers fall off and drift away, he gripped Naomi's thighs and sank into her, pushing as far and deep into her as he could possibly go. "Shit" he cursed. It had been four years since he'd had the pleasure of feeling her wrapped snugly around him; he forgotten how magnificent it was. He reached out and grabbed the ledge of the pool to keep from completely losing it.

Naomi threw her head back in ecstasy. "Oh my God" she moaned loudly, not caring who heard. He was so big, stretching her so far. He made slow long strokes, hitting her g-spot every single time. The water that sloshed around them, sent shockwaves through her already sensitive skin when the droplets touched her. Her body began shaking uncontrollably. Sex with Sam was so deliriously good, there were no words in the English language or any language to describe it. Grabbing the back of his neck, she pulled him even closer until their faces were touching. They stared into each other's eyes, breathed their hot breaths onto each other, as their bodies fell further into sync. With each stroke, Naomi's moans became louder and louder; she could care less and less.

Sam was gripping the edge of the pool so hard, he was sure the concrete would give way at any moment. It felt so good to be living inside of her. He felt like a drug addict who had fallen off the wagon; but in his case, he never wanted to get back on. His curses were becoming louder and louder as well. Naomi's vagina began to spasm; he could feel it as it contracted around him, opening wider and then gripping him for dear life. His knees nearly gave way. To prevent an unmanly scream from leaving his mouth, he kissed Naomi with all his might, smothering her screams along with his own. As they continued to kiss and feast on each other's lips, they simultaneously reached their climax, both moaning and cursing into each other's mouths. Even after their orgasms ebbed, they kept kissing for what felt like eternity.

Naomi's body was still shaking when their lips finally stopped moving. She looked at Sam, not knowing what to think. 'What the hell have I just done' she thought to herself. Wiggling around until Sam slipped out of her, she pulled herself out of the pool, not bothering to find the pieces of her bikini, and ran to her robe. She had told Jordan over and over that seeing Sam again wouldn't be a problem; that he needed to trust her. She'd failed miserably. By the time she managed to close and tie her robe with shaky hands, Sam has gotten out of the water and retrieved his robe as well. He walked up to her, but didn't say anything. "Well, that was a blast from the past" she said shakily, not looking at him.

"Yeah, it was" Sam said.

"I should get going".

"Let me walk you to your hotel room" Sam offered.

"No that's okay…" Naomi started.

"No, I insist. It's late; I wouldn't feel right if I didn't escort you back to your room" he insisted.

"Okay, fine" she said, giving in.

The elevator ride down to her floor was quiet and tense. The silence continued as they walked down the long hallway towards her room. Naomi retrieved the room key from her robe pocket and unlocked the door. She turned around to tell Sam thank you but she never got any words out. As soon as the door swung open, Sam picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Initiating another intoxicating, mind numbing kiss, he slammed her against the nearest wall and untied her robe. Before Naomi had a chance to comprehend what was happening, he was penetrating her, living inside her again. Her voice felt hoarse from all the screaming she had done at the pool, but his touch was sending her into a frenzy again. She tried to bite her lip to control the noises, but her moans were still spilling out at a steady pace. From the wall, they fell onto the bed. He tried to cover her, but Naomi wanted to gain some control back. Tumbling back and forth on the bed, she climbed on top of him and began to ride him, slowly torturing him. He gripped her hips and tried to pump up at her but Naomi wasn't having it. She pressed firmly on his pelvis and forced him to stop moving. Riding him slow and easy, she leaned over and resumed their kissing fest. Something about his lips on hers, his tongue probing her mouth, as his penis probed her sweet spot, sent her through the roof.

Sam's eyes were rolling into the back of his head. Naomi was driving him crazy. Sitting up, with Naomi still on top and straddling him, he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her even closer. One at a time, he took each breast into his mouth and played, sucked, kissed, and teased them. He grabbed Naomi's hands and pinned them behind her back so she couldn't interfere or escape his assault. He didn't let her go until he saw fit. By the time he was finished tormenting her, her bouncing up and down movements and moans had him so turned on, he exploded, filling her with his seed.

When Naomi felt Sam's powerful orgasm filling her, it triggered her own orgasm. There were so many waves, she wasn't sure if she'd ever come down off the high Sam had given her. A single tear fell down the right side of her face as the last of her orgasm finally faded away. As she tried to catch her breath, she stared deep into Sam's eyes. There were no words spoken but they were on the same page; they knew exactly what each other was thinking. They leaned in at the same time, their lips colliding in a fury of desire. Sam flipped her over onto her back and entered her again. The first rays of daylight were seeping into the room before Sam and Naomi's energy supply was too depleted to keep going.


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey, sorry it took me so long to update this story. I've been concentrating harder on my other story lately. Unfortunately, this story will be coming to an end soon. I had a few ideas that would have kept this story going but I think it will be better to end it sooner rather than later. There will probably be about two more chapters and an epilogue. Thanks to everyone who read and kept up with this story.**

**Oh, and P.S. ...this chapter sort of picks up where the last one left off. Just a little warning :)**

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Chapter Twenty-Eight

Somewhere in the distance, Naomi heard a phone ringing. She tried to ignore it but whoever was calling was being persistent. Why wouldn't they just let her sleep? "Hello" a male voice groggily answered, stopping the shrilling noise.

"Thank you" Naomi sighed happily, rolling over and repositioning herself in the bed. Then her eyes popped wide open; last night came flooding back with haunting clarity. She turned back over to see Sam in bed with her, still half asleep, mumbling to someone on the phone. How the hell could this have happened? She looked at his smooth dark skin, his muscled chest, and his strong arms and knew exactly why. She was still in love with him; nearly two years and three thousand miles hadn't erased one ounce of the feelings she felt for him. It was becoming more and more apparent that Sam's grip on her would never be loosened. Fife had told her a few years back that they would have never work because her heart was never truly available. Naomi finally believed him; she'd never gotten her heart back from Sam. She loved Jordan, but no matter how happy he'd made her, it wasn't enough to vanquish her feelings for her ex-husband.

"That was the hospital" Sam said, ending his phone call, and interrupting Naomi's thoughts. "The cardiothoracic surgeon on call had a family emergency and they need me to fill in. I should probably get dressed" he said reluctantly, staring at Naomi.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea" Naomi said softly, returning his stare. How had her life wound back up in a mess so quickly?

"How long will you be in town" Sam asked.

"I fly out tomorrow afternoon" she answered.

"We should probably talk about what happened last night" Sam said. He wanted to know what it meant. Would she act like it was one big mistake? Or would Naomi finally realize that that she belonged with him, not Jordan?

"Absolutely, we should. I'm spending the day with Charlotte but maybe I can drop by the hospital early this evening" Naomi suggested. They needed to lay all their cards out on the table; figure out what their relationship meant and where it was, or wasn't going, once and for all.

"That sounds good". Sitting up, Sam swung his legs over and put his feet firmly on the ground. A headache pulsed on the left side of his head. They hadn't gotten much sleep and now he had a full day at the hospital to look forward to. He was going to need coffee on an IV drip just to survive.

Naomi watched the tense muscles in Sam's shoulders and back, involuntarily biting her lip. This was not productive; she would get herself into even more trouble if she continued to drool over him. Getting out of bed, not bothering to cover herself up, she headed for the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower; Charlotte should be here to pick me up in a little while. If you're gone by the time I come out, I'll see you later today" she said quickly, closing the door behind her. Turning on the shower, she waited for the water to get nice and hot before stepping in. The water pressure and heat felt good against her skin; soothed the sore muscles she'd gotten last night. Naomi took a deep breath and held her head under the showerhead, letting her hair get wet. Exhaling, she placed her hands against the wall and tried to focus and clear her head. She really hoped Sam was gone by the time she got out the shower; she needed time to think without distractions before seeing him again. But since she hadn't been thinking clearly, she forgot to lock the bathroom door. When she heard the shower door open, she didn't bother to turn and face him.

"I just wanted to say goodbye before I left" Sam said, his tone dark and husky. He knew he should've left, waited for their conversation later that day. But something in him feared he would never see her again. He had to take advantage of being near her while he still could.

Naomi didn't say anything; not even when stepped he into the shower, not when took the soap and started massaging her back, massaging her thighs, cupping her breasts, squeezing her nipples; she was silent through it all, keeping her moans internalized. Sam forced her to turn around, look at him. He looked like a predator ready to pounce and Naomi couldn't help but be a willing victim. When he kissed her, her heart nearly stopped. He literally had the power to steal her breath away and resuscitate her in the same kiss. Naomi's head fell back as Sam's lips began to roam down her body. He left a trail of kisses on her neck, licked across her collarbone, and mercilessly one by one drew her nipples into his mouth. The silence she'd been able to maintain quickly faded as Sam took his time arousing and teasing her sensitive jewels. His tortuous campaign was just beginning. Slowly, he kissed and licked his way down her stomach; his tongue felt so warm and slippery against her wet skin, as water cascaded down all around them. Naomi's breath hitched when Sam's face stopped right between her thighs and he placed her right leg over his shoulder; He kissed her swollen lips, used his fingers to spread them apart so he could blow on her clit. Naomi pushed her hands against to wall to keep her balance; she was shaking so badly, Sam had to grab the back of her thigh to keep her steady. Taking his sweet time, he slowly licked up and down her clit, sucking on the engorged nub. Using his tongue, he probed in and out of her vagina, tasty her sweet stickiness. Raspy screams were escaping Naomi's lungs as her chest heaved up and down so hard, it hurt. "Sam…stop…please stop…I…can't…take it" she gasped, her voice raw and hoarse. Pushing on his shoulders, she tried to get him to back up but he was relentless. He didn't release her until he felt her body clench and her skin heat up with the glow of orgasm.

Gradually, Sam kissed his way back up her body and greeted her lips with his, the taste of herself still on his lips. "You taste good, sweeter than any fruit I've ever eaten" he mumbled between sloppy wet kisses.

"I can't believe you" Naomi moaned, her body still on fire. She pulled him against her, wanting to feel his closeness as they continued to indulge in one another. "I thought you had to get to work".

"I do but they won't be looking for me for another hour…or two" Sam said, lifting Naomi's legs and wrapping them around him. Slowly he entered her. The water had started to run cold, but they didn't notice. Their body heat was producing all the warmth and steam they needed.

Naomi instantly picked up his rhythm, his slow grind, as he made short but deep powerful thrusts in and out of her body. For every thrust he made, her hips were right there to greet him. She tightly clenched around him, wanting to feel every muscle and vein his manhood contained.

"Shit Naomi" Sam cursed, locking his knees to keep his balance.

"You're not the only one who knows how to torture people" she whispered, as she bit and sucked on his earlobe.

"Damnit" Sam cursed again, his rhythm becoming faster. He kept pushing deeper, and harder, the sound of their bodies crashing into each other filled the shower. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. Tightening every muscle in his body, he gave one final thrust and both he and Naomi exploded at the same time, both of them seeing stars in their eyes.

…..

Naomi's hair was shot, there was nothing she could do with it but pull it back. While it was still wet, she brushed it into a pony tail and then wrapped into a bun and pinned it. She looked down at her fingers; they still had that wrinkled effect from being in the shower too long. Naomi wasn't quite sure how long she and Sam had spent in there, but it had been a long time. He had only left minutes before. Confused more than ever, she sighed as she put the finishing touches on her makeup and put on some earrings. She could accept that she was still in love with Sam; loving him had never been the hard part; nor had the sex as shown by their recent marathon. It was all the trimmings and complications that came with loving him that was the problem. He did seem like a changed man, like he'd grown during their time apart but once again they had bad timing. Other people were involved in their mess all over again. What was it about Sam that made her trample over other people's feelings? That wasn't who she was. If it wasn't for Sam's girlfriend freaking out, last night wouldn't have happened. But she had freaked out and it had happened. A knock on the door released her from her thoughts. Naomi hoped it wasn't Sam; her ability to say no to him was nonexistent right now. Her prayers were answered, it was Charlotte. "Hey, how did you know what room I was staying in? I thought you were going to call so I could meet you down in the lobby".

"This is your room" Charlotte asked weirdly, a strange look on her face.

Feeling uneasy, Naomi nodded. "I just said that. Is everything okay"?

Charlotte didn't answer; instead she bypassed Naomi and entered the room. She looked all around the room, as if hoping to find someone hiding. "Is Jordan here with you; did he show up at the last minute"?

"No" Naomi said, a slow dread filling her.

"Really" Charlotte questioned. "Because I waited until Cooper left to come here and curse out the couple who kept us up half the night with all there screaming, moaning, and carrying on. And then I was going to curse them out again for having to wake up to the screams again over an hour ago" she said, her stare drilling Naomi.

"You have a hotel room next door" Naomi gasped, horrified.

"Yes. Cooper arranged for the nurse watching the triplets to stay overnight so we could get some much needed rest. Everything was fine and dandy until we were awoken with all these pornographic noises. At the rate, we could have gotten more sleep at home. At least babies take a break between their crying fits" Charlotte ranted.

"Charlotte, I'm so sorry".

"Don't apologize, you're my friend, so I guess I'll get over it" Charlotte said, sitting down in a chair. She was clearly still tired and irritated.

"No, I'm truly sorry. Let me at least treat you to a cup of coffee" Naomi offered, feely guilty on every level.

"Fine, but make it decaf. I'm nursing" Charlotte agreed.

"Whatever you want, I'll buy you the whole coffee house if you want me to" she said, grabbing her purse and helping Charlotte up and out the door.

…

Charlotte looked at Naomi out of the side of her eye as she drove. A large coffee and jelly doughnut later, she was feeling more sane; sane enough to ask questions her brain couldn't compute earlier. "So, if Jordan is still in London, who were you having sex with Naomi"?

Naomi nearly choked on the piece of bagel she was eating. "Excuse me" she hedged. She was hoping Charlotte would forget to ask her that question; but it was Charlotte. She should have known better.

"You heard me. Who were you having sex with" Charlotte asked again.

Naomi fidgeted around in her seat, not answering.

It took two seconds for Charlotte to figure it out. "Naomi, NO! Please do not tell me you slept with Sam"!

"I didn't meant to" Naomi cried, indirectly confessing. "It just sort of happened".

"Naomi" Charlotte sighed. "Things like that don't just happen unless you want them to".

"I honestly didn't plan on sleeping with him Charlotte" Naomi argued. "But it's Sam, he just gets to me. No one has ever had an influence over me the way that he does".

"You're _still _in love with him? Even after two years of no contact" Charlotte asked amazed.

"Yes, seeing him felt like no time had passed at all. I thought I could handle it. And I did; at the wedding we were surrounded by so many people, I was able to behave myself. But the second we were alone, I caved quicker than a house of cards".

"What about Jordan" Charlotte asked.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him" Naomi said vaguely.

"You're not going to tell him? He deserves to know the truth".

"Why would I tell him" Naomi asked, a little incensed. "So he can rub it in my face that he was right; that I couldn't be trusted around Sam? Besides, there's no point in causing him unnecessary pain" she rationalized.

"I'm confused. So you're choosing to stay with Jordan under the pretense of a lie? You just admitted you're still in love with Sam; don't you think you need to reevaluate who you should be with? When you first moved to Atlanta, I thought it was a good idea. I could see how much you loved Sam but thought you needed the time and space to get your life on track. When I found out you were officially with Jordan, I was proud at of your effort to truly move on. He's a great guy and it would have been crazy not to give him a shot. In some ways, I think the move was successful; you're a stronger more grounded woman. But now it's so blatantly clear that Jordan will never be Sam for you. And the real Sam is just not going anywhere Naomi; sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. Maybe you and Sam truly are meant to be together after all. And if that's the case, it's okay. Sam's a great guy too. He's made some boneheaded decisions over the years but I bet no one feels more badly about it than he does. I hate to see anyone get hurt but Jordan will be better off in the long run if you're honest with him now".

"I don't know" Naomi sighed, feeling restless. "Sam and I have always had incredibly bad timing. He's an addiction; addicts have to struggle their whole lives to stay sober. Sometimes they slip up but they still know it's bad for them and they start over. I slipped up, fell off the wagon. Maybe it's just time to start over again".

"I think you're addicted to being scared" Charlotte said bluntly. "Sam left you and I don't think you've ever truly recovered from it. I know he went through a midlife crisis and had some commitment issues but he's gotten past that. Two years ago when he fought for you, he did everything in his power to prove he wasn't going anywhere and you still couldn't make that jump. Like I said, moving to Atlanta was still the right thing for you as an individual, but don't act like part of it wasn't you running away from Sam. You chose Jordan by default, not because he was who you truly wanted. If you could be absolutely sure that Sam wouldn't break your heart again, it would have been no contest. I didn't see but I damn sure heard what was going on in that room last night. Even through my anger and annoyance at the disturbance, I could tell those sounds weren't lust or giving in when you shouldn't. It sounded like two people who have always loved each other and who will never stop loving each other; you sounded like soul mates, in complete synchronization with the other. Stop being scared Naomi and take a leap of faith".

"Ugh, I don't want to talk about this anymore" Naomi said, getting flustered and frustrated. She honestly didn't know what she should do or how she felt. Charlotte was giving it to her straight and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

"You're going to have to figure it out sooner or later" Charlotte said, as she pulled into the driveway of her house.

"I know and I will. I told Sam I would stop by the hospital later to see him; we're supposed to talk. I just don't know how it's going to go or what I want to say. I need time to think without everyone's opinions floating in my brain. So, can we just go see the babies; I could use some baby therapy right now".

Charlotte smiled. "Sure. I didn't meant to come down so hard on you. I just love and care about you".

"I know you do Charlotte, I love you too" Naomi smiled back. "Now where are my babies"?

…..

Later that day, Naomi took a cab to the hospital. Charlotte had offered to drive her but she'd refused, insisting her friend needed to catch up on the sleep Naomi had deprived her. After seeing Charlotte and Cooper's beautiful babies, calmness had overtaken her. Babies were so innocent and pure; they reminded you of what was important in life. Naomi thought about what would make her happiest and her answer kept going back to one word….Sam. Even through the up and downs, good and bad times, Sam was her heart's true desire. As she paid the cab driver and entered the hospital, she'd all but formed the speech she was going to give him about wanting to try again; to make it work for real this time. Her speech never got a chance to be delivered. Sam had boarded a private plane for Seattle only minutes before she arrived. Derek had called him and begged for his help on a difficult case at the last minute. After arranging for another doctor to cover his shift, he'd left in a hurry. Naomi briefly considered waiting for him to return or even flying up to Seattle when she ran into Stephanie.

"Hey, you're Naomi, Sam's ex-wife right" she asked.

"Yes, I am" Naomi said, wondering who the woman was.

"Hello, I'm Stephanie. I'm Sam's girlfriend. I was supposed to meet you last night but I wound up working hours past my shift. It's a shame, I heard the wedding and reception were beautiful".

His girlfriend? Didn't they break up last night Naomi thought. "I thought you came to the reception" Naomi said confused. "I remember someone telling me they saw you and I remember thinking I didn't get a chance to say hi" she said vaguely, not revealing her sources.

"No, they must have mistaken another guest for me. I worked until past midnight" Stephanie responded.

Naomi felt her body stiffen; she was dumfounded. Sam had outright lied to her, in what was now an obvious ploy to get her into bed. Why couldn't he have been honest? Chances were she still would have slept with him because she had no will power when it came to Sam; apparently she didn't have the common sense to know when she was being played either. "Well, it's nice to meet you Stephanie" Naomi said, her voice emotionless. "I hate to run, but I have to get back to the hotel to pack. Please tell Sam I stopped by to say goodbye when he returns. And what a pleasure it was to meet you".

"I'll certainly do that. It was nice to meet you too" Stephanie smiled.

Naomi gave up a robotic smile before she turned around and left; she didn't bother looking back.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey! Sorry it took me so long to update this story. My other story takes up most of my spare time. And I apologize for the subpar writing in advance. To be perfectly honest, I'm quite over this story but am determined to finish. Only two more chapters to go!**

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Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Glad you joined the land of the living today" Charlotte teased as Naomi sat down in the lounge chair next to her. She, Violet, Addison, and Amelia had already been sitting on the beach for an hour. Life had been crazy for everyone over the last year but they had resumed their quarterly girls' vacations with a trip to Hawaii.

"Sorry about yesterday ladies, I wasn't feeling well. The flight was a little rough on me. Mine was twice as long as yours coming from the east coast" Naomi explained, putting her sunglasses on.

"I don't know Naomi. The tired part I understand, but losing your appetite is not normal. You love to eat. And yesterday you looked like you could pass out at any second; you look that way now. Maybe you caught a virus before you left home" Charlotte hypothesized.

"Goodness Charlotte, when you put it like that, Naomi sounds like she's pregnant" Addison teased.

Naomi leaned her head against the back of the chair but didn't say anything. She didn't know if she was strong enough to have this conversation, but she did know she didn't have the strength to fend off the barrage of questions about to come her way. She was tired, tired of carrying the world on her shoulders. Maybe some truth would do her a bit of good.

"Ummm Naomi, now would be the time to refute what Addison just said. This is how rumors get started" Amelia said, following an awkward silence.

Naomi still didn't say anything; she was too busy fighting the urge to throw up.

Violet sat straight up in her chair. "You're still not saying anything...you're not...are you pregnant"?

Swallowing the bile in her throat, Naomi confessed. "Actually, I am".

"What? Are you serious? That's amazing! Congratulations" everyone yelled and shouted over each other, drawing attention from other vacationers. They all closed in on Naomi to give her hugs; she returned their hugs one by one but her enthusiasm failed to match theirs.

"This is good news, isn't it" Addison asked concerned.

Naomi sat up and crossed her legs. "It's great news" she said unconvincingly. "I guess I'm just too tired to show it".

"Well, what does Jordan think? He must be so excited" Violet asked.

"What Jordan thinks and how he feels is no longer my concern" Naomi replied, unable to keep a little bitterness out of her voice. She held up her left hand to show her empty ring finger. "The engagement is off, we're no longer together. He and his son have moved back to London permanently".

"No! What happened" Addison declared, in complete shock.

Naomi looked down and shook her head. "It turns out his dead wife was not so dead after all. Not only is Michelle alive, they are very much still married".

"Excuse me" Charlotte said, rage boiling inside her. She hated nothing more than a liar, especially when it disrupted and affected other people's lives.

The conversation replayed in Naomi's head as she relayed the pertinent details of the story. "You heard me correctly. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. One night he got a mysterious phone call from his brother and after that, he shut down on me. He kept avoiding setting a wedding date and he was constantly flying to London, but refused to let me come with him. He claimed his mother was having health problems but I never bought it; finally I put my foot down. Long story short, he finally broke down and told me about Michelle. Apparently, she's been in prison all these years for the vehicular manslaughter of their daughter and attempted murder of their son. A few months ago, she became eligible for parole and so Jordan kept traveling to London to not only convince the parole board to keep her imprisoned, but to demand a divorce. He got neither. She's out of prison and refuses to give him a divorce".

"I'm stunned; you and Jordan always seemed to have such an honest relationship. You guys shared everything" Addison said.

"I thought so too. Turns out the one thing he should have been most honest about he kept to himself. I just can't believe his nerve. I was more than happy to be friends with him; but made me love him, made me believe he wanted to be with me forever. In reality, I was nothing more than a temporary replacement for his wife".

"Don't say that Naomi; it's not true. I'm not defending Jordan but I remember the way he looked at you. He really did love you, probably still does. You just said he was trying to get a divorce to be with you" Violet reminded her.

"I know he loved me Violet; in many ways I still love him. But I'm willing to bet he loves his wife more. Michelle has been in prison for over a decade and divorce never occurred to him before. He was so blinded by his rage that he refused to accept that he was still in love with her. Truthfully, I think he still wants to be with her; he's just afraid to trust her again. I wish him the best; I hope it works for the both of him".

"That's an awfully admirable approach to take" Charlotte commented. "Too bad I don't believe it".

"Believe it. Am I hurt? Yes. Am I angry? Hell yes; he took my choice away and altered my reality without my permission. I hate that he dragged me into this mess. I had enough complications without him throwing more wrenches into my life. But I'm glad I found out now rather than later. Now all I can do is move on; I've done it before, I'll do it again".

"Are you going to tell him about the baby" Violet asked.

"I don't have to; the baby isn't his" Naomi explained, dropping another bombshell.

"What?! Then who is" Addison wanted to know.

"It's not important. He won't be a part of this child's life, I'm going at this alone. Me, Betsy, and this baby will be just fine on our own" Naomi said, resolved about her future.

Everybody started to talk at once, but Charlotte shouted over them, demanding them to be silent. She had information about Naomi that no one knew. "Naomi look at me" she said, her tone not leaving any room for argument.

Naomi slowly turned, unfolded her legs, and planted her feet in the warm sand. She already knew where this was going, had been expecting it.

"How long have you and Jordan been broken up" Charlotte asked, getting all the background information before she jumped in Naomi's face.

She sighed. "We broke up a month before the wedding" Naomi admitted, hearing gasps from Addison, Amelia, and Violet. "I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to ruin Addison's big day or have people feeling sorry for me".

Charlotte nodded her head, suspecting as much. "Exactly how pregnant are you Naomi? How many weeks"?

"Ten" Naomi said, knowing Charlotte had already arrived at that conclusion. They stared at each other, neither one backing down.

"You have to tell him" Charlotte finally said.

"I'm not telling him anything" Naomi said defiantly.

"You have to Naomi" Charlotte repeated, sparking a heated debate between them.

Addison looked between Naomi and Charlotte, wondering what the hell was going on. How did Charlotte know who the father was? What had Naomi been doing ten weeks ago? Suddenly, it dawned on her. "Wait a minute, I got married ten weeks ago. It's someone we all know, isn't it" she asked, disrupting their argument.

"Who do we all know that Naomi would be interested in besides Sam" Amelia blurted out without thinking. Everyone went still as it dawned on them.

"SAM" Violet exclaimed. "You just talked about Jordan not being over his wife and here you have the same problem. You love him but you don't trust him but also can't resist jumping into bed with him". Violet didn't mean to come off sounding harsh, but those were the facts, plain and simple.

Naomi suddenly felt defensive. "I won't deny that I'm still in love with Sam. I probably always will be but the difference between me and Jordan is that I've finally learned how to move on. I'm no longer holding onto my past…I'm looking towards the future. Just because I love Sam doesn't mean we have to or will be together ever again. Some things just aren't meant to be".

"Tell that to the baby growing in your uterus" Amelia said. "I seriously doubt this pregnancy was planned so maybe God is trying to tell you something".

"Like what"?

"That you and Sam DO belong together and that both of you need to stop being so stubborn and get your act together for the sake of that child" Amelia answered.

"Or it could just be the consequences of my actions. I got caught in a vulnerable position and caved. I should have never put myself in that position in the first place. This is nothing more than good old fashioned karma. Having a baby by the man I love but can never be with". Naomi swiveled around in her lounge chair and put her feet back up. Behind her sunglasses, she kept blinking to hold back the tears.

"How did you know she slept with Sam" Addison asked Charlotte, giving Naomi a chance to gather herself.

"I overheard them" Charlotte revealed, much to the delight of her audience. "Cooper had reserved a hotel room for us the night of your wedding so we could get some much needed rest. It was impossible at the time with the triplets being barely out of the hospital. We were passed out sleep, dead to the world when we were awoken by loud porn noises coming from next door. Naomi keeps spatting all this crap about not belonging together, but let me tell you; they couldn't get enough of each other that night. The sun came up before things finally quieted down only for it to start up again three hours later. I was so pissed off; I was ready to kill somebody. Imagine my surprise when I knocked on the door and Naomi answered".

"Each time you tell that story, it gets a little worse" Naomi said, not bothering to get upset.

"Each time you say you and Sam don't belong together, it becomes a little less believable" Charlotte countered.

"I believe it and that is all that matters. I'm going to enjoy being single and raising my kids; and I'm sure Sam is enjoying life with his girlfriend. What's her name again? Stephanie, right"?

"They're not together anymore" Amelia said.

"What" Naomi shouted.

"Yeah, they broke up the night of Addison's wedding. No one knew why but I guess it's obvious now; it was because of you" Violet said, confirming Amelia's words. "Pete told me that Stephanie tried her hardest to get Sam back but he wouldn't budge. He said he cared about her but that he would never be able to be the man she needed or deserved".

"Was she at the wedding" Naomi asked.

"I thought I saw her for a brief second but she disappeared so fast, I can't be sure. Why" Addison asked.

That bitch had lied to her; there she was about to lay her heart on the line and ask for another chance with Sam and Stephanie had lied to her. But that wasn't the worse part; what made Naomi feel worse was that she had been so quick to believe her. Sam had been telling the truth and she'd let his past transgressions affect seeing him clearly. She'd never even answered Sam's numerous phone calls and given him a chance to explain his side. Her actions didn't make her any better than Stephanie. She hadn't been as ready as she thought; on the contrary, it further proved her and Sam were done. If she was so willing to believe a stranger over him, their chances didn't look that bright. It was for the best anyway, she lived across the country with no plans of moving anytime soon. Besides, Sam didn't want kids; why burden him when it was unnecessary? She'd originally planned to not tell him out of anger, now it was out of kindness.

"Naomi, what's going on in that head of yours? What are you thinking" Charlotte asked.

"Nothing. I'm sorry to hear about Sam and Stephanie. Hopefully he'll find someone new who can make him happy" Naomi lied.

"You're the only one that makes him happy" Addison said softly. "And he's the only one that makes you truly happy. Why are you fighting so hard against it"?

She could feel the tears about to fall; she didn't want people around when they did. "Excuse me, I think I've had enough sun for one day. I'm going back to my room" Naomi said shakily, as she got up and walked down the beach.


End file.
